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HolyTemptation

Novel By: Canine
Fantasy


Men are ruining the world and it is up to one young women with unatrual powers to save it. View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5

Submitted: Dec 9, 2007    Reads: 138    Comments: 6    Likes: 8   


A spring breeze drifted across a serene meadow causing emerald grass to wave at a pristine sky. Meadow Larks, sparrows, and an occasional bluebird drifted lazily across the calm skies crying out for their flocks or their loves. A small gurgling stream meandered its way through the meadow, gathering into a small crystalline pond at the far end before draining into a tiny crick that led into a dark, thick forest.
          Large pines grew on the outskirts like giant sentinels. Blackness condensed beneath the trees boughs and stretched as far as it could before the sun's rays burned them off. From the blackness two young women hesitantly stepped into the sun, their wary eyes scanning the meadow catching first on a doe that sipped thirstily from the pond then on a wary coyote that disappeared into the thick undergrowth as they stepped into the meadow.
          The first woman was short with a body as light and insubstantial as a breeze. Her cape of velvet brown hair drifted out as fingers of wind played with it. Large doe brown eyes danced merrily as she took in the lovely, calm scene before her. Her laugh danced and twirled across the meadow, causing the doe to look up with interest but no fear. Beneath her feet grass bent but sprang back to its full healthy height. One could almost guarantee that no bugs were ever crushed beneath this one's stride.
          The second woman was as tall as her companion was short with a look about her that brought to mind a willow, able to bend in the strongest gales but never break. Her hair was as dark as an eclipsing moon and fell in a cascading wave to the small of her back where it laid motionless as if it was too heavy or to forbidding for the breeze to play with. Eye's the shape of tear drops scanned the meadow unceasingly. Long legs trimmed with muscles strode purposefully across the meadow with none of the unearthly grace her companion displayed so easily.
          The doe's eyes caught on the women and were held as if enthralled; a shudder of fear raced through its body and muscles in its legs, and its back tensed as if preparing for flight but its feet did not move.
          Eyes the bright yellow, gold, brown clash of a predators caught on the doe. A small cold smile filtered over her face. "Leave," She whispered in a voice as predatory as her eyes.
          As if her words released a lock on invisible chains the doe bounded from the clearing, its strides barely stirring the grass it ran upon. "I wish you wouldn't do that, Tempid." Tempid heaved a sigh of pure wariness. "If I hadn't told it to leave it would have just sat there scared out of its mind." Her friend's eyes hardened and her chin lifted in stubbornness. "It would have been just fine." Her eye's flashed fire as if daring Tempid to contradict her. Tempid sighed again, wariness making her shoulders slump and her head pound. "Whisper, you know animals just don’t like me. Their scared witless of me, you know it, I know it, they know it."
          A breeze drifted across the meadow catching on Whispers hair, causing it to dance and twirl around her face. Tempid jammed her thumbs into the waistband of her soft doeskin pants and watched as Whisper’s skirts drifted around her feet, giving her the illusion of floating. A parting of hair reveal a serenity in Whisper's eyes that came upon her only once in a blue moon.
          Tempid's heart pounded in fear and excitement but her eyes stayed cool and her hands steady. With the patience of a hunter she waited for her friend to drift back into herself.
          Suddenly Whisper's eyes flashed with pain and her mouth curved into a worried frown. Startled Tempid stepped forward not knowing what to do but knowing that she had to do something. Whisper held out a hand to stop her and turned her head in a way that made her hair fall like a curtain across her face hiding her badly concealed emotions. With out waiting for the questions that brimmed in Tempid's eyes, she turned and raced across the meadow, her strides just as graceful but lacking the carefree quality that gave her a goddess like appearance.
          With a worried frown Tempid ran after her. In movement everything about her changed. Her movements became exact and controlled. Every twitch of a muscle every movement of limb was used to enhance speed and save energy. Not a single movement was wasted not a single ounce of energy was used that didn’t need to be used. Everything about the way she moved screamed HUNTER! PREDATOR! WARRIOR! 
          Insects fled from the grass in waves as the two women ran across their domain. Squirrels scolded them angrily as they raced next to the border between forest and meadow. Tempid caught Whisper before the first insect settled back into the grass but did not try to stop her instead she allowed Whisper to run using her restless energy the only way she knew how.
          They came to the edge of the pond where Whisper collapsed. Crystalline blue water stretched out before them as Whisper panted and shook, partly from exhaustion and partly from fear. Tempid crouched next to her friend her breath steady and even. Thick lush grass made a comfortable pad as Tempid waited knowing Whisper would tell her what had happened as soon as she was ready.
          "What do you want to be?' Wary eyes flashed to Whisper then away again. "What do you mean?" Whisper's laugh was low and cruel. "We have known each other all our lives and I know you are the smartest person I have ever met, so do not play dumb that’s just insulting my intelligence." 
          Tempid nervously plucked a piece of grass from the ground and transferred it to her mouth rolling it over her tongue until the thick bitter taste coated the inside of her mouth. "Why do you ask?" Whisper’s shudders stopped and her eyes took on a familiar stubborn sheen. "Do not evade the question!" Tempid's eye's flashed with irritation but knew she would have no choice but to answer the question.  
          A hawk's haunting cry drifted from the forest causing the squirrels to fall silent. A fish coming to the surface to snatch an insect caused ripples to radiate across the surface of the pond. The coyote cautiously slipped its head out of the foliage then quickly withdrew it when it saw that they had yet to leave.
          "Look, as far as I see it, I wouldn't make a good doe or a good swan. I mean can you really see me being the prize after the hunt?" Whisper's smile was relieved but still held a hint of pain. "No, I can't imagine you ever being the prize. I can imagine you turning the tables and becoming the hunter though." Whisper paused her eyes falling to the bed of thick grass. "Yes, that is only too easy to imagine."
          "Whisper?" Tempid asked warily. Whisper closed her eyes to try and control the emotions waging a war inside of her. "You were born and raised here. You were given all the same speeches and all the same lessons but you do not accept our customs, do not agree with our beliefs." Whisper's voice shifted into a light breezy voice that drifted away as soon as it was uttered, making Tempid lean towards her so she could hear.
          "The gods created the men. They gave them dominance so they would not be subdued. They gave them strength so they could protect themselves. They gave them stubbornness so they would never give up. They gave them rage and determination so they would fight. And they gave them pride so they would protect what was theirs and last they gave the men the power to turn into an animal that connected with the man’s soul.
          Men were the perfect hunters… too perfect. Nothing could survive against the man. Life was slowly being extinguished, slowly coming to an end."
          Tempid shuddered; she had heard the same story countless times and had never felt the same sense of forbidding as she did now.
          "In one last effort to save the world the gods created women. Beautiful and graceful, meek and lovable…the prize." Whisper smiled grimly as she uttered those last words, the words that ended the story. Chills raced up Tempid's arms and down her spine and a sense of forbidding hit her hard.
          Whisper absently traced pictures in the grass as she stared at the pond with out seeing. "Even then the gods knew that men would continue to destroy the world, not on purpose, not because they were evil but because that was the way they had been designed. They were designed to rule, to dominate, and that was what they did so the gods created a… trapdoor if you want. A creation that could turn the tides. That could prevent the destruction. That could save the world."
          Whisper turned towards Tempid who had the overwhelming urge to run. Bright rays of sunlight fell around them, warming the air and the ground but it felt as if she had been dropped into a vat of freezing water that seeped into her skin and attached itself to her bones and veins spreading the cold until it would never leave her body.
          "Tomorrow is your awakening." Whisper murmured suddenly jumping to her feet. "You will know more then." Whisper raced back across the meadow and this time Tempid didn’t try to catch her but only sat in her patch of coldness thinking deeply.
          She was leading up to something. Tempid thought staring sightlessly across the meadow. The logical conclusion rocked her and caused her to shake her head vigorously. "It's just a child's tale," She told herself, though her voice lacked both heat and conviction.
          She dug her fingers deep into the ground, desperate to feel heat and a connection to the earth. "The world is not being destroyed." She said out loud. And it wasn't, everything looked the same as it had fifteen years ago.
          With new determination Tempid rose to her feet, intending to find Whisper and force her to admit what a childish prank she had been playing. It was the animals that brought her up short.
          Every nook, every cranny, every space between every tree was brimming with animals. Wolves, dear, rabbits, birds, coyotes, possums, moles, bear; every species that lived in the forest was gathered around staring at her, their solemn eyes beseeching. "No," Tempid whispered mournfully.             
                 
 


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Comments:

i like it so far

Posted: Jan 5, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you, im glad.

I liked this very much, your writing is superb.

Posted: Jan 21, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you, its nice to hear.

Hmmmm, not bad, not bad at all. I'll have to keep reading.

Posted: Jan 21, 2008

Author Comment:

Hmmm, i'm glad you liked it.

Nice, very nice.

Posted: Jan 21, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you.

Sigh, I wish you were in my writing class.

Posted: Jan 21, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you

This is a really gripping first chapter. Keep it up.

Posted: Jan 22, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you.



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