Oh man, this walk is boring! It was the same thing this whole trip. Trees, trees, trees, Oh, and look, more trees! Two days I have been walking around this forest, and I swear it never ends.
Anyway, I guess you want to know who the good looking hunk is there, right? You know, you so want to know. That short brown hair, deep blue eyes, muscular, toned body. That's me, Iyzick. Aren't I just the greatest?
So let's see now, as I complained, this forest is huge. Two days in this place and it sucks! Not one person. I wish I was in a city right now, so much eye candy. Is there no one here to cure my lonely heart? AHHH! Stupid forest, little chance of a cute girl here. Well, I guess all I can do is wait.
"Ah ha! I found you!"
"It took me sometime, but I did it!"
Okay? I ask myself turning around slowly to see who was yelling. Wow, a girl! HEHEHEHE! My luck is changing. I watched her step from the shadows of the forest. Her long blond hair, petite body, big green eyes. Though not much of a chest... Damn it's just a kid.
"I'm taking you in."
I raised a brow wondering what she meant by that. I figured I would let her finish before I jumped in just yet on the conversation.
"I Beronica Mabura, have captured you at last!"
Captured? Don't you have to actually catch someone first? "Look, little girl, what are you going on about?"
She looked surprised there for a second. "Huh? Don't give me that! You will pay for your crimes, and I will collect the bounty!"
Talk about over zealous. "What bounty?"
"The one on your head." I'm not sure but I think she made a face that was meant to look menacing, or she had stomach pains. Still not sure.
I scoffed, and waved a dismissive hand as I walked away from her. "Yeah, yeah whatever, kid. Go home."
"H-hey, you can't walk away from me!" Hmm… she stammered, that really threw her for a loop. I could hear her though run up towards me. Taking a quick glance back I could see she fumbled for what looked like a parchment. She held it up as I stopped to take a look. What do you know, a picture of me. Good likeness too. Though on further review, I got a tad upset. I grabbed the parchment in frustration.
"What the hell is this?! 50 bronze! Only 50! I disserve better then this if someone wants my head!"
"Hey. That's going to be my 50 bronze soon." She reached for the paper but I just turned away. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her draw a dagger from her side hilt. Oh, please. She lunged at me but I just held out my hand. Instantly, she froze.
"I would say, just above an A cup." What? So her chest fell into my hand, what could I do?
"Ahhh….AHHHH….. AAAAAAAAAA!!! PERVERT!"
Hmm… she blushed. I don't see the big deal…. Or felt for that matter. Falling back on her butt she quickly scooted away clutching her arms across herself.
"You did that on purpose!"
I nodded in agreement, still looking at that damn 50 bronze. Stupid 50 bronze, is there no respect? I started.
"Okay, let me see if I get this right. You followed me out here to get the reward? But the cost of travel expense is not even worth it. Not so smart little girl."
"I am not a little girl! I'm eighteen, and my name is Beronica!"
Okay, I guess for the quick cop I could do her that respect. Beronica, quickly got to her feet and started for another charge with the dagger. I side stepped her easily.
"You know, Beronica, you would look much cuter with short hair."
So I like pushing people sometimes, is that such a crime? You could see the anger flash in her eyes. She started for me again. Slow learner. Once more I side stepped her, released my chain dagger and swiped it at her as she past.
Hmm? Oh, well it's just as it sounds, it's a dagger with a chain hooked to it. Simple, no? The dagger sits in a hilt on my back and the chain I wrap around my left arm. Now back to what I was saying.
Okay, it was not the nicest thing to do to her, but she had it coming. What? Don't judge me!
She looked back in time to see her hair float to the ground.
"Y-you? You cut off…." Aww, crap here come the water works. She knelt down by her hair, dropping the dagger. Picking up some of the long strands of her hair in her hands, her eyes started to welt with tears.
I sighed and walked over to her. She did not seem to notice me, to caught up in her loss.
"My hair." A tear fell, landing on the strands.
Okay, yes I am a prick, but I hate to see a girl cry, and this time I over did myself. Even if she deserved it. I knelt down and told her not to move. Beronica said nothing as I walked around her. I felt a sense of fear from her. The hair was uneven in the back from my trim, so I went to work and pulled out a brush and scissors. What? Doesn't everyone carry at least one with them?
"What are you going to do?" Yeah I could tell she had little faith. OW, ye of little!
"Don't move, I don't want to cut you by mistake." Okay that probably came out more serious then I intended. Ahh, what are yah' going to do?
When I had finished evening her hair I put the brush and scissors away and handed her a mirror. Get off my back, yes I have a mirror too, how ells could I keep my nice hair in check?
I listened to her sniffle a bit, before she took the mirror. Beronica didn't face me but looked in the reflection for a long moment. She handed back the mirror sharply in my direction, quickly standing. For some reason my act of good intentions was rewarded with a swift boot to the face.
She sent me flying back as blood shot out of my nose.
"Ahhhh!" Yeah that really, really hurt. But all she did was laugh at me. Why that flat chest, want to be boy!
"HA! I tricked you, I am the greatest bounty hunter alive!" What? This girl is nuts, it must be that time of the month… or she needs some Ritalin. "You're mine! So is the bounty!"
Remember, what did I say about slow learners? Yeah, class has been out in her head for sometime. I stood with blood still coming out of my nose, man it hurt. As I stuffed tissue up my nostril, I have had enough of this underdeveloped girl.
"Okay, I will admit that cutting off your hair was wrong. I may have even disserved to be kicked. But when? When, have you ever come up with the idea that you caught me?"
Dum de dumm…. Okay, she stood there from what I could tell was trying to come up with something to say. She was about to answer when another voice jumped into the ever so exciting conversation.
"HA! We got him boys!"
What is it with people today? Can't these hunters get a new line?
"I see, he's got a cute little companion with him, too. We can sell her for some extra change."
The shabbily dressed bald guy in front of me was checking out Beronica. I could see her cringe at the thought, of there thoughts. The cue ball and his three buddies looked like they had nasty intentions in mind. I have to admit, I ralfed in my throat at his taste.
"What is it with people today?" I said aloud. "There are no cute girls after me?" Yeah it was a slow day.
Beronica pulled at my sleeve. "Hey, what about me?"
I looked back. "You're still here?"
She nearly fell over.
"Don't ignore us!" Hmm? OW! Yeah, the bald guy.
"So I take it your after that insulting bounty?" That still pisses me off.
The hunter pointed his sword looking as menacing as possible. What a joke. "Let's get him!" Oh, that's even more clever.
I stood at the ready as they charged.
The four stopped dead in there tracks as a thunderous roar went through the forest air. We all looked around as a large man dropped from the forest canopy, landing in front of the three men and there baled leader. Wow, what a beast of a man, or gorilla? I mean this guy was huge, and hairy.
"Palms of thrust!" The large man thrust at the leader both palms slamming into the bald guy, sending him flying into his group.
Palms of thrust? Not touching that one, though it seems someone does.
The downed men cowered in fear at this huge monkey man… yeah, he was that hairy and that big. They yelled curses as they got up and quickly ran off shouting.
"We'll get you for this Iyzick! Mark my words!" Even in strange defeat he actually mustered up some stupid thing to say. Hump.
Beronica, at the sight of the man slowly shrunk behind me. Oh that's great, try and kill me once, and now look to me to protect you. I feel like such a meat shield.
"Why you in forest?" The hairy man… beast… giant said.
Errr… I thrust Beronica in front of me. "Here, ask her. I-I got to go. Bye!" I started to creep away leaving her behind. Beronica looked at me in surprise. Don't you look at me like that.
"Oh, pretty lady."
What!? You have to be kidding me?
"You two come with me. Me treat you to supper."
What is with this guy? One moment he wants to interrogate us the next he invites us for dinner? I waved a hand.
"Thanks, but I really should be going."
The man moved with great speed and got in my face. Talk about bad smells.
"You not come?" I could not be sure but in his throat was a low growl. "You no like food?"
Crap. "U-umm, no I do. See the thing is….." Damn that smell!
"Good, you follow. Now." Well I guess we had little choice. Beronica looked at me not sure what was going on. Hell I had no idea what was going on. The beast of a man grabbed both our hands and dragged us off. Going to have to wash up after this.
Okay so here I am with a flat chest pip squeak, and a smelly barbarian that lived in a…. yes, a tree house. We sat on the floor, on a rug that I guessed was a bear's hide. It was a small place just big enough to house the large barbarian. I was not sure what to do, or say for that fact. Beronica who sat rather close to me seemed to feel the same.
The man sat a bowl of some sort of gruel in front of us with a chunk of boars' meat he was cooking in a fire place. God help me to not let this place burn down if I'm in here. I must admit my stomach kind of turned. To direct my attention away from this goop, I had to ask his name.
"Me is Fury. This my forest, what your name?" Grate small talk.
"I am Iyzick, and this is Beronica." Okay so I really don't know this girl, but if she got some attention off of me, all the better.
"You two mate?" I was taken aback by that. I could see Beronica was as well. Damn it, she was blushing.
"No, why would I want a flat chest girl like her?" That was a mistake as I saw her anger rise as she side punched my ribs. I grimaced at the pain but held my composer.
"No mate?" Fury looked to Beronica with a smile. I watched as he looked deep into her eyes. To my surprise he ran out of the room and returned shortly with a single flower. He got down on his knees and bowed his head. "You mate with me?"
Beronica looked at me for a desperate plea for help. Man this rich.
"Ohhhh! You mean mate." So I gave in, she can owe me one later. "I misunderstood, Fury. We are not yet wed and are on our way to the next town too….. Seal the deal." I winked as he glanced at me. "If you know what I mean?"
Fury looked disappointed, but sat back nodding arms crossed.
"You make baby soon? Yes, me understand. Then me give you gift as happy day."
This may not go well.
Once more he left. After we heard commotion in another room as things fell to the floor, he returned. He held something wrapped in an animal hide.
"This for you." He held it out to Beronica. She gave me a quick glance before taking it. "Wedding gift."
I hate to say it, but I hate the way he talks. But he seemed nice enough, if not a tad lonely. I watched Beronica unfold the hide. She went wide eyed as it opened to, two daggers of odd design, each about two feet long. From what I saw they were at some point joined together but were broken in half. By the shape it looked like they would form a crescent shaped blade. With the inside of the crescent dawning the blade edge. On the outside were to handles large enough for small hands cut into the metal rapped in leather. Other then being broken, they were finely crafted.
Beronica looked up at Fury. "Wow, thank you but I can't take them."
Fury waved a hand. "Wedding gift. You take, I no can use." He held up his large hands. "No can use." I held back a laugh as I thought back to his battle cry.
Beronica was excited. "What happened to them? How did they break?" She asked running a finger over the silver blades.
Fury gave an odd look. "They not broke." He picked them up and placed them together. He dropped one hand as the blades held tight together. "See no break. You throw far and come back."
What the hell was he talking about? Anyway, seems she got a new weapon.
"Thank you, Fury. I will take good care of it." Beronica had no idea what he was saying, but did not want to insult him. Fury nodded, both smiled.
I felt sick. Stupid 50 bronze.