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(New) Unwanted Destiny

Novel By: DarkFairy8907
Fantasy


A young princess is snached from her home and family. This young princess is then controlled by a demon who plans to use her to overthrow her own kingdom. But a forgotten prince comes to save her, will they survive? View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Submitted: Aug 18, 2007    Reads: 352    Comments: 23    Likes: 12   


Dedicated to my

cousin Brayden.

You look so much like

your father, and you

inspired me in the

creation of one of

my characters.

I wish you well in

your life.

I Love You Brayden!

Unwanted Destiny

Prologue

Do you have a long forgotten moment, that was so precious and dear you would do anything to retain it? Or maybe it is something you would want to change?

I would want something to change so I could have long forgotten moments. You probably wonder who doesn’t have a forgotten moment. Well I do, I have memories, but not ones that I chose to create.

I am not like most seventeen year olds; you see my life has always been run for me. I was a princess;(no this isn’t my problem), controlled by a demon who destroyed my life. My story begins twelve years ago in a land called Elysia.

Chapter 1: Possession

Elysia, a valley enclosed land surrounded by massive mountains, had been my family’s homeland since it was discovered by my ancestors. I knew this land like the back of my hand. To the west was a dark, thick forest, the men of our kingdom had only dared to explore the half closest to their homes. To the east was a dry barren desert which was either a pathway to other countries or a pathway to immediate death. Needless to say not much vegetation grew on the eastern side of the land. Unlike the desert in the east, far to the north was a vast lake feeding the surrounding vegetation. Not many people knew about this lake partly because it was shrouded in the mountains dark shadow but mostly because nobody dare travel that far. I only knew about it because my father once traveled with some of his best knights to explore the northern part of Elysia.

At the very center of Elysia was a tiny kingdom called Rea, this was my home. My father was a righteous man of great stature with sandy hair and blue eyes. He ruled with a iron hand that was gentle yet firm; he was King of Rea. His lovely wife, the Queen, and my mother was a petite woman with curly blonde hair and green eyes. I was their only child, Princess Nerisella, a perfect little angel, with my father’s hair and my mother’s eyes. We had a peaceful life, but one day that all changed.

‘Twas the eve of my fifth birthday and the castle was filled with the sound of hustling feet as each servant prepared for my party the next day.

“No, no, no. That doesn’t go there, it goes there. Zavier! The arrangements of the tables is all wrong. Everything needs to be perfect for Nerisella’s Birthday. David what are we going to do, nothing’s going right!”

My mother was panicking. With her everything had to be perfect.

“Angelica don’t worry, everything will be fine. As long as Nerisella is happy we should be happy. Nothing is going to go wrong.”

Oh how wrong my father was. Just as the final decorations were being hung the black sheep of the family, Aunt Monica, burst through the ballroom doors.

“Nerisella, darling I come bearing a gift for you.”

Aunt Monica was a sorceress on my mother’s side.

“She doesn’t need anything from you Monica. Your presence isn’t welcomed here.”

“Come now Angelica your sister isn’t that vile, and means not harm. Let Nerisella have her present.”

Mother didn’t trust her sister, since she was known to meddle with the dark arts in her sorcery. Father didn’t know her as well, so he still trusted her, which he would soon regret.

I was handed a gift wrapped in a small box. I pulled at the bow attached to the box and let it drift to the floor. Slowly the lid was lifted off. My parents were in front of me, my Aunt beside me. Everyone was staring intensely as I reached my hand into the box and drew out an amulet with a ruby centerpiece. Awestruck at it’s beauty my parents and I were unaware of the danger that dwelt within the amulet itself.

The next day I awoke to the sun’s rays pouring through the cracks between the drapes. Stretching my arms I remembered today was my big day. I quickly rubbed the sleep from my eyes and ran to my wardrobe. Its huge pine doors were flung open as I gazed at my vast selection of dresses to choose from. I finally chose the perfect dress, a white dress with red roses winding around it. I donned the amulet finishing my apparel. A silent knock came from my door followed by mother’s voice.

“Nerisella are you awake? Your party is going to start without you.”

“Yes mother I’m awake. I’ll be down in a minute.”

Her footsteps echoed as she took her leave. I stared at my mirror and gave my dress a twirl. With a final look in the mirror I took a deep breath and opened my door and skipped down the steps leading to the grand ballroom. The room filled with applause, celebrating the guest of honor. My party had officially started, a big feast was held then everybody slowly and gradually made their way to the middle of the ballroom where couples danced for hours. My father took my hand and let me stand on his feet as we turned about in circles. When it came time for me to open my presents every child there rushed the table where the presents sat.

I couldn’t decide which to open, my friends were shoving multiple gifts in front of me. I finally finished opening every present and was ecstatic because I got everything I asked for, and more. My whole birthday was a huge hit, however, that all would change at midnight.

My friends and I were dancing in the middle of the ballroom with couples around us making comments on how cute we were. My parents watched from their thrones. The grandfather clock struck midnight, and the entire grand ballroom turned red; the source, the amulet. Before anyone could scream, a man garbed in a black robe, with red eyes, and long silver hair, appeared in the middle of the room. My amulet gone.

“I am Xanamros, Demon of Darkness. Who has released me from my eternal imprisonment.” No one moved a muscle as Xanamros turned and faced me with those blood-red eyes. Somehow he knew I was the one who released him. “THANK YOU FOR RELEASING ME! YOU WILL BE REPAID BY SERVING AS MY SLAVE, FOR LIFE!”

My parents rushed from their thrones to be by my side, as my friends ran searching for their mother’s comforting arms. My parents fell to their knees begging and pleading.

“Let her stay!” they cried, outraged.

Xanamros waved his hand toward them and they fell silent. My father rose from his knees, staring deep into Xanamros’ eyes.

“Let her stay!” gesturing toward me. “She had no intention of releasing you!”

Xanamros raised an eyebrow and lifted his head higher, staring down upon my father.

“Do you think I would believe you, the mortal father of my new slave?” Xanamros replied placing a cold hand on my shoulder.

I was shaking as this strange man touched me. Xanamros snapped his fingers and pitch-black smoke began to swirl around us, blocking my parents from view. Through the smoke I could here mother scream,

“Nerisella! No my baby!”

My surroundings were fading as my mother’s desperate cries faded.

The next thing I knew, I was in a dark musty room that was dimly lit by three torches with black flames. I had realized this was the underworld my parents had described many a times. I began to look around when I noticed the outline of someone across the room, it was Xanamros. He slowly and eerily made his way toward me.

“Do you have a name little girl?” I stood there, frozen I fear. “Answer me child,” said Xanamros with no emotion.

“Nerisella,” I replied shaking, avoiding Xanamros’ deadly gaze.

Xanamros then begun circling me, nodding his head each time around. When he finally stopped, he stood before me and said,

“You will become a fine slave for my demonic deeds. Moreover, you will have no choice in the matter, for I will be controlling what you do and say from now on. Am I understood?”

I nodded.

As if I had a choice.

The next few minutes were like a nightmare brought to life. Xanamros stared straight at me with lifeless eyes, a wicked smile spreading across his face, his head cocked to one side. Then, my entire body went numb, and I fell to the floor. Xanamros knelt beside be and whispered into my ear,

“This won’t hurt a bit.”

My head then flooded with pain. It felt like someone was drilling into my mind. My most private thoughts and memories became known. My body thrashed violently, arms writhing, legs kicking. I sat up my body retching the contents of my stomach out onto the floor as the alien being of Xanamros moved in. He was taking over my mind and body. I was helpless to fight him off. Xanamros was almost in complete control of my mind; then I blacked out.

When I awoke my body started to stand up, but there was something wrong. It felt as if I was watching my body rise rather than telling it to. Xanamros was standing across the room motioning my body to come forward, and it did.

“Who is your master?” asked Xanamros.

I tried to keep my mouth shut, I couldn’t bite my lip, the words spilled out.

“You’re my master Xanamros.”


12

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Comments:

This story was written excellently well. Beginning with a captivating question to catch readers' attention from the beginning, compelling us to read on. And the mysterious amulet, all of this to say the story was excellently well written. I hope other chapters are in the making, if it would not disturb you. May you please read over the first five chapters of my novel, I value everyone's opinion. Job well done on the novel.

Posted: Aug 18, 2007

Author Comment:

Sure no problem I'll read over your chapters, and thanks for the comment, I think this is much better than my original. I'll get right on the next chapter.

~DarkFairy~

Excellent. Your opening was very catchy and your usuage of asking the reader a question was masterful. I look forward to reading more. Keep up the good work.

Posted: Aug 18, 2007

Author Comment:

Thanks, that's a comment I was really hoping for from my readers. It may take a while, but I will defintely come up with a new second chapter. Thanks again.

~DarkFairy~

Invigorating and seductive as always, I forgot just how much I enjoyed Unwanted Destiny ^^ better than ever and I really hope this speeds along, even though I read the old copy I'm still dieing to know the rest ^^

Well done and keep at it
Hawk ^^

Posted: Aug 19, 2007

Author Comment:

Thanks a bunch, I used your suggestion of running my story through my mind like a movie, and it worked. But I have to take it one chapter at a time. It tooks me a couple of weeks, to finely feel that this was good enough to repost.

~DarkFairy~

I LOVE this so far. It's very captivating and I love how it plunges straight into the story. I look forward to the rest of the novel. 5 star.

>Ruby

Posted: Aug 20, 2007

Author Comment:

Thanks, I'm usually not good with beginnings but I think it turned out really well. More will be coming soon.

~DarkFairy~

OMG... I think I found a story to become addicted to ^_^
The beginning reminds me of when I was in fifth grade. We had this awesome literacy coach guy, and he was always telling us "Start off with a question, and it'll always hook the reader in."
Well, your story proved him right!!!
Just so you know, I'm also thinking about redoing Elements' Fury soon. Right after I finish my new fantasy story, Shades of Grey. Would you read it? I need people to help me decide whether to continue with it or to just scrap it. >.<
I love this story, both versions of it, and I can't wait for more of the new version.
-Marisa-

Posted: Aug 30, 2007

Author Comment:

Thanks it took me weeks to even come up with what the story was even going to be about for my class assignment. I thought of it walking home from school one day, and well it just went from there. I'm almost done with the third chapter, I should have it up by tonight. Thanks for reading. I'll be sure to read your other novel and comment.

~DarkFairy~

Awesome idea for a story. I like it.

Posted: Sep 6, 2007

Author Comment:

Thank you, I had to do this for a creative writing class. I originally decided to make it a short story, then the teacher was like you have to publish it. Well I tried to publish first as a short story here, but the document was longer than the amount of word space provided.

I also couldn't decide what I was going to do, but knew that I wanted to do a fairy tale story. I was walking home and thought, hey why not start my story out with a question, and it just went from there. I had the first three chapters down the next day. I've re-written it several times until I thought it was perfect.

~DarkFairy~

That was an amazing beginning. You captivated the reader with a thoughtful question, the plunged right into the story. I loved it!

Posted: Jan 6, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks, I never thought starting out with a question would work. But it turned out it did. I'm glad you liked it, I haven't received a comment on my novel in while, I'm still reworking my fourth chapter, but should have it up by the end of the week.

~DarkFairy~

This was really well written and really interesting. It was a great read. Now I am off to read more =D
I loved it.

**mandy[massacre]**

Posted: Jan 16, 2008

Author Comment:

Okay, I like this beginning chapter much better than my original. You'll see why when I finish.

~DarkFairy~

Bloody excellent write. Captivating and compelling. May I suggest a pronunciation guide of some sort? It would by most helpful. Other than that it was a great read, thank you for sharing.

Posted: Jan 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Well for the demon I left that up to the reader, I pronounce two different ways everytime I say it. Nerisella's name was generated but didn't give an exact pronunciation. But yeah that's a good idea. Thanks for reading and commenting.

~DarkFairy~

Awesome! I've never read the original version, but this one is plain genius. The question at the beginning is great, its like a hook that lures all us little fishies into your story. Its awesome. Now i' off to read the rest.

Posted: Jan 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Yeah, I'm so glad that I started out with a question, because that is what it's suppose to do. Hook my audience and pull them in. I never thought it would work when I heard about doing that for years in school, and what do you know it works. I'm glad you like it, I can't wait to see what you think of the rest.

~DarkFairy~

ooo-very creative!
:)

Posted: Feb 14, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks.

~DarkFairy~

ahh! i love it!! as a fantasy lover and writer myself, i admire this! very well written and of course already its got a great plot line. i am so excited to read more! excellent work! feel free to check out some of my writing. =)

Posted: Mar 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Definitely, I saw some of your writing. If I get the time tomorrow, I go check it out. Thanks for stopping by.

~DarkFairy~

This is soo good! i love it! Such a great start!

Posted: Mar 29, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks, I never thought I could start a story with a question like my teachers always talked about, but I did and it worked great.

~DarkFairy~

This was amazing! I know I read this and commented when I was in my old account, but I needed to read it again because I never finished it ^_^.
This was amazing, as the first time was.
I never got to read the old version of it, I didn't know you then.lol
This was awesome! and kept me reading until the end. Starting off with a questions was a great way to start out.
On to read more now *runs off*
~mandy

Posted: May 30, 2008

Author Comment:

Heheh, I know you told me you were planning on starting over. It was a nice surprise to come home to reading your comments, it makes me a little happier to be home.

I still never thought I could start off a story with a question, but hey, that's what popped into my head when I was walking home xD

~DarkFairy~

So u made the story again, but more details. I waz wondering why u had (old) and (new)
I liked the old one, so i must like the new one.

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Yes you must ~casts spell over Prizemoney~ lol.

~DarkFairy~

very very good! excellent even.
heading onto the next chapter.

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Alright, I'll stop by your page too!

~DarkFairy~

You were right about it being better than the old version, no offense. But after comparing them, this one gives more detail and excitement. In the old version, when you got the amulet, you said Xanamros was inside it.

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

Yep Xanamros was inside the amulet you figure out why later on, keep reading :)

~DarkFairy~

Wow, that was amazing. It was really interesting and kept me wondering what would happen next. I wonder what Xanamros is going to do with poor Nerisella.

Posted: Aug 1, 2008

Author Comment:

See I knew you'd love it, you'll have to read on to find out what happens, and I'm going to work on my 9th chapter, my friend SynHawk sent his revised version back, I was really impressed. I hope not to disappoint you.

~DarkFairy~

i like this . i cannot remember if i read this already but it feels familar. but love it anyyways

Posted: Aug 19, 2008

Author Comment:

I think you have, IDK, but it's fun to read again and again, lol.

~DarkFairy~

i really like it!! im going to start reading it...well the rest of it, soon... and you are too good at writing beginnings! i think your begining is better than mine! lol

Posted: Aug 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Lol, no way yours is better than mine, I was just trying to do like my english teachers always told me to start out with a question that it would pull a reader in.

~DarkFairy~

I loved it.
Your ending was better than perfect. Instead of the pure suspense most chapters end with your end also makes me think what COULD happen. Instead of what will happen its like "She's a a slave where can the author (You lol that was redundant) go from here? It makes me want to read the next part all the more.
-------------------------------------------------
dilemma
Should I got to bed like a good little boy
or...
should i stay up cause i really want to know what happens next?

Posted: Oct 21, 2008

Author Comment:

LOL I don't know what you should do, but either way I'd be happy that you have read it, thanks ^^

~DarkFairy~
A Knight of Booksie Old

cool story
five stars all the way

Posted: Oct 25, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks

~DarkFairy~
A Knight of Booksie Old

Wowsers, you my amigo are one hell of a writer. The whole start with a question thing of a bobber, brilliant, gets us into a thinking mood so that all your information flows smoothly into our brain. Poor kid, hell I'd hate opening a present and finding out its slavery to some whacked out demon with a god complex, and her mom tried to stop it too, she's gonna be pissed at herself that's for sure. I wonder what a demon could possibly make a girl do as a slave, I'm guessing she ain't gonna be scrubbing floors. All in all it was a masterpiece from the get go, now I gotta read the other chapters. BTW, I am not done my stories yet, I'm new so their not published but once I do I hope you can take a look, my stories are way out of whack but your criticism or praise might help me improve. So I rate ya pi/10!

Posted: Nov 27, 2008

Author Comment:

Wow thanks haven't received this much praise for my writing in a long time. Hehehe yeah you'll have to read the rest to find out what happens to her. Let me know when you get yours done and I'll take a look see.

~DarkFairy~



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