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Zarah's Journal

By: Darklily

Page 1, A few entries from Zarah\'s journal, or diary, whatever you prefer to call them. Please note that this is in a fantasy world, so 2523 is according to their time not ours.

April 16, 2523
This morning I woke with a hunger I have never felt before. It wasn’t a hunger for food, it was something more than that. I can barely describe it, but I know that something is missing from me. The hunger is for knowledge and belonging.

Last night I had a strange dream, I could see these big shadows around me, calling my name, asking me to join them. I looked at myself, I was covered with fur, I was one of them. When I woke up and got to school, I went to the library to find out what the strange creatures I saw were. I looked at a book on primitive dogs and dogs of the Old World, and there I found a picture of the creatures from my dream, below the picture were a few words, “Wolves die out in the first few years of the war, the government tried to preserve land for wild wolves, but all pure wolves were already gone. They are presumed to be extinct.” I am now obsessed with wolves, I can’t get them out of my head. For now I won’t tell anyone about my dream.

When I got home from school, mom acted suspicious. It’s not like I don’t know what she’s up to, tomorrow is my 16th birthday, so she is obviously planning the party. I got a letter in the mail today from my dad. He wishes me a happy birthday and tells me to stay warm. He always writes letters to me, not like most of the kids who have parents working out of town, who just get sent a greeting card for their birthday and nothing else. I guess I’m just really lucky, I have a dad who really cares about me. Sometimes I really wish he was here and that he never left, but I know that if that was true I would never had been able to go to school.

April 18, 2523

Alex, Lilian, and I found puppy walking home from school today. We were just going to leave it alone, but it kept following us. It kind of looks like a wolf. Alex thinks I should keep it, as she thinks it may be part wolf. I told her she's crazy, mom would kill me if I brought a puppy home. Thank goodness Lilian said she would take it, I thought I was actually going to have to convince my mom to let me keep the poor thing. Today, I got home before mom did, she was acting more suspicious than ever, kept asking me questions, like how my day went and stuff. I don't know what's up with her, but I have a feeling I'm going to find out soon enough.

April 19, 2523

History class was as boring as ever today. I really don't see any point of learning about the same thing year after year. All we talk about is the war, nothing else. My teacher didn't even care that I fell asleep, probably because he too feels like History isn't that important, at least when it's repeated information. Not much else happened today, besides the fact that today was like the first time Lilian and John missed school. Our teachers though that was a miracle, they never skip school or get sick. I figured that they finally got back together after their last fight. Alex was hoping that wasn't true, she hates John, but I pretty sure the feeling is mutual.

April 29, 2523

Today, I got the strangest thing in the mail. Dad sent me a knife, or dagger as his letter said. He said that the hilt is made of bone, which I immediately thought was gross, and it has precious gems set in it. It was a gift from his uncle. Alex think I should sell it, Lilian said I should keep it since it was from my father, and John just thought it was cool because it was a weapon. Boys and weapons, two things I will never understand.

May 1, 2523

My world has been thrown upside down. Today, I met my grandma, who I haven’t seen since I was maybe four or five, she hadn’t age a day, literally! She invited me into her house, which was small, but warm, and she said she would explain everything. I asked how this was possible, how she didn’t age? Vampire was definitely coming to mind. She seemed to just ignore both of those questions, and asked if I was having any strange dreams lately? I was pretty sure she already knew my answer, I told her the truth and told her I found out about wolves, and how they went extinct. When I mentioned wolves being extinct she started laughing, hard. So, I asked her what was so funny and she told me the truth about wolves. They are not extinct, in fact she was a wolf. I was immediately afraid, she sensed this, so she reassured me that no harm would come to me. I had calmed down a little bit, then she start to tell me about my father and herself. She told me that my father and herself are what she called “wolf-lords” humans who are wolf in spirit, or like herself, a former Noble wolf who choose to be human and these wolf-lords are immortal, which explains why she never aged. She continued to tell me that I too am a wolf-lord, I felt like my head was going through a meat grinder. Grandma told me that the dagger my father sent me was made by her brother, the Chief of a wolf tribe, making me somewhat part of what is known as the “royal family” of the tribe. She told me that is was important that I believe all that she told me, or else my wolf will stay hidden to me. I left there as quickly as I could, I didn’t care about what she told me. It all had to be another dream, but it wasn’t, it was too real. I am a sixteen year old wolflord and my grandmother is an immortal former wolf, just wait until I tell Alex, she’s going to have a good laugh.

May 2, 2523

Today I told mom that I saw grandma yesterday, she freaked out. She ask what we talked about, I had a feeling she also knew about wolf-lords. She told me that she never wanted me to find out, that she wanted to wait until dad came back to tell me. We argued a little, more like shouted at each other for ten minutes until I ran up to my room. How could she keep this from me? I have a right to know what I am. Why didn’t dad just send me a letter to explain everything?

May 3, 2523

John and Lilian were acting weird today, and I soon found out why. After school after Alex went to her house, they asked me something that would have sounded strange only a few days ago, they asked if I was wolf. I told them no and they just said that I smelled like a wolf. I didn’t know what to say to that, but around them I could sense something that I couldn’t around anyone else, it was the same sense I felt around grandma, and in my dreams with the wolves, it was a sense of belonging. I immediately asked them if they were wolf-lords too. They laughed even harder than grandma did when I said wolves were extinct. They said they are not wolf-lords, that they are werewolves. Until today, my friends were the only normal thing in my life, now even they had something to do with wolves. I hate wolves! My life was perfect before I had that stupid dream. Now, my life is like one big sweet dream gone nightmare.

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