What is not false. Is neither true, nor a lie.
That is my name. It has been my name, since the beginning of time. What a strange name, I know… I have pondered why I was given this name, there must be some other reason than, "It's just what God chose for you." But then again, God is not to be questioned.
What other strange names, might there be. Daisy, Zepla… None of those seemed nearly as questionable as my own name. I wondered if I had had another name at one point, if I was ever called anything else. But even way back in the reels of my mind, I wouldn't remember.
Ferrah is what I am called, and Ferrah is my name.
"Ferrah, Zepla would like to see you."
Daisy spoke in a slow, soft monotone, one which made me curious as to what the inquiry was about.
"Alright, I will be there in a few."
My heels clicked against the light grey marbled hallway floor as I turned and headed towards the familiar white door with the name "Zepla." printed in clear letters.
I knew this place like the back of my hand, not because I had walked through Heaven's every hallway, valley, and seen everything there was to be seen. But because I had been programmed to remember what I was supposed to. I was told what to remember, what to forget and what to do in what situation. It wouldn't have surprised me if they didn't program which feelings we felt at which time.
Then again, greed, lust and jealousy forbidden.
I flicked my wrist and my knuckles hit the wooden door with a ringing tap, that lasted a duration of 3 flicks, each one two seconds apart.
I opened the door to reveal a brightly lit white room, the walls bare, no windows, no way that anymore light could come in. Yet it seemed as if the sun was right in that room, but my eyes were adjusted to this.
"Ferrah… it's good to see you!" Zepla said brushing a short lock of blonde hair behind her pixie like ears.
"You too." I said narrowing my emerald eyes and taking a few steps closer to her desk.
"What is this about?"
She blinked, seeming surprised… Normally I was rather happy to converse with her, I saw her as a sister. But this time, she was interrupting my free time, the one day of the week where I had nothing to do but roam this place, think for my self, and ponder things I most likely shouldn't.
"You seemed occupied." She said crossing hands over her lap.
"Today is my resting day."
She smiled, showing her bright white teeth, that shouldn't have been so noticeable to me. Everything here is bright and glowing with a aura that might blind a newcomer.
"I never understood the idea of a 'rest' day. Aren't we already resting, at peace and comfort in Heaven? Besides, an ark Angel like you're self, you are already in comfort aren't you? Or are your accommodation's here becoming challenging?"
The way she worded her thoughts, the questions she asked me, rhetorical and otherwise, were confusing to me. Was she implying I was insignificant? That my Job was not as difficult as say, someone like hers? How could the accommodations of Heaven be challenging me?
"What are you implying Zepla? I do my fair share of work, I have made Father happy. Who are you to ask me such questions? "
"Are you arguing with me?"
"Of course not. Angel's do not argue."
"Well… Perhaps you aren't exactly what you think you are."
"Are you insulting me?"
She smiled, almost, sarcastically, if there were such a thing in Heaven.
"Of course not, Angels don't insult."
I was beginning to feel uncomfortable. This was a rare feeling, it rose in the tips of my white wingspan like poison in a mortals veins.
"Please just tell me what I am here for."
She tapped her nails on the black desk before her. Most likely one of the only dark things you might find.
"Versili has been looking for you. He wonder's about the thought that go through your mind. He say's you are questioning your existence."
"That is not false."
"So you are questioning your existence?" She raised an eyebrow, and I felt my lungs pull inwards.
"That is not false." I repeated. Knowing, that I had most likely, put myself in a difficult situation. While other Angels did this kind of thing all the time, I was different from other Angels. I was one of the closest to God. Zepla was ahead of me, although in many ways, I should have ruled over her.
While God was to rule over all of us, the head Angels, other ark Angels, such as Zepla, took it in her own hands, to choose when we would be programmed, and when. They followed the guidelines to the pin point, meaning, bending them just enough to fufill their sick need of power, but small enough to be unnoticed.
"What has Versili told you?"
I had gained trust in Versili, as we are created to trust everyone and anyone. But I had found something different, I knew him to be one who wouldn't try his best to know everything running through my head. I had a feeling Zepla had been spying on me, and Versili was just as innocent as he had been created to be.
"That is between me and Versili."
I sighed and began turning around. Zepla often tired to mess with my head, find reason's to bring pain to me. I wasn't going to let that happen today.
"Where are you going Ferrah?"
"Away from here. Excuse my leaving. But I would prefer to not be in your presence Zepla. "
I opened the door and began down the hallway again. Not another word to Zepla. I thought about where Natasha might be, knowing her she was in our room. We had every wonder to see in Heaven, yet she spent most of her time on her bed, writing and thinking about the same thing's I was just being interrogated about.
The so called comfort of never ending days and nights wasn't as comforting as you'd think.
One part of Heaven is the night, the other is the day. Often I prefer the night. You'd think it would be real night, but actually it's only a few levels less bright, than the day. Perhaps on earth, it would be the moment of sunset. The glow upon the earth, right before the darkness proceeds. That's what night is in Heaven.
As I made my way to Natasha and my room, I pulled my wings inwards slightly, the cartilage whooshing me ahead a bit.
As I opened the door to the large room that must have been at least 40 feet by 40 feet, which held two queen size beds, covered in golden layers of sheets, blankets and pillows, I looked around for Natasha.
As usual, she was seated on the white and gold couch in the west corner of the room, a bundle of white blankets wrapped around her, notebook in hand.
She was silent.
Her light orange and brown eyes scanned me from my thin ankles to the tips of my wings.
I chuckled and slipped off my heels, making my way over to her, and sitting down a foot or so from her on the couch.
"Have you just been sitting here all day?"
Natasha smiled slightly, her eyes back in the journal she was writing very small, quaint, black words.
"What else am I going to do?"
I nodded my head at her, then tilted my head to the side a bit, wondering if she had talked to Versili as well.
"Have you seen Versili?"
Natasha looked up, confused but curious all at the same time. She closed her journal and angled her body towards me more.
"No, I haven't. Why?"
I brushed a strand of chocolate hair behind my shoulder and sighed, wondering if I should tell Tasha what Zepla had said to me. On one hand, perhaps Tasha could help me, on the other Zepla was prone to start drama amongst the Angels.
"Zepla, called me in today."
Tasha's eyes widened a little and she leaned forward, her bright red hair falling over her face. She used her breath to blow it to the side and set a hand on my knee.
"She accused me, in a rather sneaky tone, of questioning why I am here, being unhappy."
"Why would she do that?"
Tasha frowned a little and her eyes looked slightly sad, if that were possible.
"You are happy here right?"
I didn't answer her second question.
"Zepla said Versili had talked to her."
"What? He'd never do that to you."
"That is what I am thinking too."
I said this with a sort of hope that Versili hadn't talked to Zepla.
You see, all Angels, we love each other, in a sort of unconditional way, and as on earth, in heaven, we find that one that we feel attached to, the one that stands out amongst all the others. You simple call it, true love, soul mates… We call it.