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I could barely move, anything I did would send flash backs of her and the whole painful motions would continue all over again.
I’m very sorry… Before he died… Ted mentioned how much you seemed to like Luna…
Like? Damn it Tony I hated her! There was an awkward silence, melancholy washed over me.
I can imagine Cole Tony answered, we all could see it. Before you got together we observed how you talked about her. Though it was rude, we could read between the lines... Cole did you realise…? That you’d fallen in love with her at the time?
It was the day you saved her from that grizzly bear. You spent time with her. I remember you telling me that you were doing nothing important until I heard her thoughts and realised you were with her.
She was scared, I heard a laugh, that you would kidnap her again! I frowned as Tony laughed inside my head.
But then she added that she was grateful despite being terrified of you, for saving her life and all that jazz.
So when do you think I fell in love? I asked somewhat self conscious. Tony thought for a moment.
Hmm ok I remember now. From what I gathered you had become rabid and were about to maul her to death I bit my lip.
Well after she’d supposedly confessed to you, I remember you saying ‘what?’ Then you were silent for a while and about half an hour later you said... Hold on I’ll transfer it to you. It won’t take long.
Will it hurt? I moaned, not wanting to repeat last time.
Not as much, he told me all I have to do is just reawaken them from your long term memory, which won’t take a while since I don’t have to transfer them to you from my mind. I sighed.
Alright, I suppose you can I answered closing my eyes and waiting for him to remind me of my thoughts.
I suddenly experienced a slight headache I clenched my teeth for the pain was bearable, just about.
Ok, done I heard Tony confirm, now I need a coffee, if you’ll excuse me I’ll leave you be.
Sitting for a while in my room I shut my eyes. The memories of the day came back to me.
(This is back in time)
I ran as far as I could heart pounding my vision not very good due to the darkness and the rain pouring down. My body was saturated and I was shivering slightly. I jumped as lightning crashed down.
What do you mean? I’m a mind reader not a mind visualiser; I have no clue where you are at the moment or what even happened.
No! I paused at least I don’t think so.
So you’re not with her anymore?
No, I left; I answered staring around, not able to determine my location.
You left? He asked shocked but why Cole?
I was about to kill her! I couldn’t stay! My mind was spinning.
You were about to kill her? You saved her and then you try and kill her?
I couldn’t help it, I complained, she got me talking about my rents…About the incident, about her death… I couldn’t take it anymore!
But then what made you stop it? He asked amazed, your temper is quite bad sometimes Cole so it must have been very special to have stopped you.
It wasn’t I told him, bringing his hopes crashing down.
So what was it then? He asked, come on Cole. Spit it out!
She told me… I sighed. I can’t believe I was going to say it!
She told me… She told me that she loved me.
She… She told you that she loved you?
Yes, I answered annoyed.
So why did that make you leave?
Because… I didn’t know what to do! I answered sinking to my knees. The rain padded my hair over my face.
Usually things get a bit awkward and then you tend to get over it, his matter-of-fact voice was quite irritating.
But what if you can’t get over it? I demanded wiping my face uselessly.
What do you mean? He asked, I sighed for I was tired.
What if it’s the one thing that you’re thinking about all the time? For some reason she comes to your mind and then, you can’t concentrate on anything else and when you try to rest your heart is still beating. I lifted my hands palm up to my face.
And you can’t stop shaking. I heard a soft gasp then Tony answered.
Wow… It’s finally happened to you Cole.
What has happened Tony?
Don’t you understand? Tony asked. I imagined a smug expression on his face but it was also somewhat happy, which was also creepy.
Cole… You’re in love! I froze.
At first I wasn’t too sure but it definitely is! Tony cried triumphantly, congratulations Cole! You’re becoming more human!
You think I wasn’t? I demanded insulted.
Well you’ve always been quite secluded from everyone, you go out of your way to save her life and you also stay with her to make sure she’s safe. Plus you’re unsure of how to act now that she’s confessed which means you’re in love with her Cole.
Great, I muttered sarcastically what am I supposed to do now?
What you do is tell her, the fact that he said it so simply got me annoyed.
Duh that you love her too! I was caught in my tracks. A slow empty feeling began to consume me, the kind you expect when you might be dying.
I can’t I answered feebly.
Why not? She already knows your secret so why should it matter that she should know she has your heart?
Because I can’t let her have it Tony, I stared at my hands.
My heart doesn't matter… There are two souls in me, one man one monster. I swallowed hard.
She may accept the man but the monster is what she’s scared of.
She can learn to accept it Tony persuaded. I shook my head, my face grim.
No, no matter what I may try to do, she will never be able to accept me. I closed my hands and lowered them again.
Who can look past the monster far enough to see the real me? There was no answer for a while. I heard Tony sigh.
That’s a shame… For if she does love you Cole. She’d embrace all of you, monster and man. I managed to make a small grin, but water still ran down my face.
Maybe someday, someone will.
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