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The Battle For Ikriam

Novel By: FunnyBunny
Fantasy


Desperate to save her late Father's Kingdom from Vappu, Sage the Elf has to do battle with enemies and her own fears. View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

Submitted: Aug 19, 2007    Reads: 4868    Comments: 59    Likes: 21   


 CHAPTER ONE 

 

"Sage, darling” King Gadwalader whispers. “I need you to be strong.  You will be the new ruler of Ikriam and…”

“No Father!” she yelled “I will not be Queen because you will not die! You will be healthy and strong again Father. Strong enough to take your rightfull place as King of Ikriam once again. The fairies need your assurance.  The Elders need your wisdom.  I need my Father.” Sage sobbed.  

 Gadwalader looked into his daughter’s eyes.  Big golden starlike eyes. Oh, but she is gorgeous! Gold and brown hair that fall onto her perfectly formed calves. A fine pointy nose,full lips the colour of a pink rosebud and high cheekbones. Tall and thin but still she has the perfect body. Gracefull like her mother.

Sacha-Gailia, my beloved wife.  How I long for you.  In my last hour, my love, I will think of only you” 

 Sage, not knowing of the sorrow in her father’s heart, holding his hand and silently sobbing.  She couldn’t loose her father.  The only family she’ll have left is her sister, Saira.  Her brother Takvor although she doesn’t know where he is.  He dissapeared a year ago and still no sign of him.  Her father has dedicated his last year to find him but with no results. And of course, her stepmother, Vappu.  She can’t stand that woman. Nobody can. 

Sage got up and started walking up and down.  Frustrated because she knows once her Father has passed on, Vappu is still young enough to reign as Queen of Ikriam.  Although Sage is the rightfull heir to the Crown, she knows Vappu will do anything to stay in control.  Sage knows that woman has alliances with the Dark Elves. 

As a Light Elf, Sage feels it is quite inappropriate for Her Majesty, Vappu, Consort of King Gadwalader and future ruler of the Kingdom of Ikriam to have relations of any sort with those underground pests. Oh, she knows what will happen. 

Quivering with dread for her kingdom and fellow elves, Sage turns to see her sickly father sleeping peacefully.  

 Oh Father.  If only you could see past Vappu’s great beauty. Then you will see what she is. A traitor to you and to our kingdom.  Sage tried once to inform her father what she suspected about Vappu’s doings. He was beside himself with rage.  He had never yelled at Sage before or even got upset with her.  But he loved Vappu and if he had to chase his own daughter away, he would do it. 

 “My Lady” Annora said softly while entering the bedchamber “I’m sorry to bother you but Daegmund wishes to speak with you in the Library.”

 “Of course” Sage replied. Annora was her father’s personal servant and a lovely elf. Sage bent down and planted a soft kiss on her father’s damp brow and left the cambers. 

 She walked down the palace passageway, her striking ivory dress moving with the breeze coming though the windows.  Sage was know throughout the kingdom for her elegant sense of style.  The dress was low cut with luminous crystals on the hem and top of the gown. The train of the dress was embroided with their family coat of arms. A white lily encircled with stars.  The lily represents the pureness of the heart and the stars the unison of the royal family. 

 Entering the library, she noticed Daegmund sitting shoulders drooping forward at the oak desk.

 “Oh Daegmund! What is the matter?  Are you ill?” Sage gasped and hurried towards her friend.  With her hand on his shoulder, Daegumund looked into her eyes and sighed. 

 “My lady, I am troubled.  Your father is not well at all and I can see our adored kingdom slipping out of the family’s hands and into Vappu’s evil claws.  She will destroy us all.  We both know she tricked your father into marrying her. Her only reason being to gain control of Ikriam.  She knew he was not well. She knew he was heartbroken when your dear mother Sacha-Gailia passed on. Vappu knew the right moment to pounce.”

 Daegmund looked older than his 130 years. Sage glanced at him and swiftly looked away, afraid that he might see the tears in her golden eyes.”Mother, how I miss you. All those years we had and know you are gone. Could it really be four years? I still feel so raw inside. Like a wound that is trying to heal but can’t. Sage wiped away a wandering tear and took a deep breath. After regaining control of her emotions, she walked to the gold framed window.

Looking outside she felt a shooting pain going through her body. Pain from seeing her kingdom about to be handed over to the worst possible elf. Not even a royal one. Vappu was born to Cadence and Pala from the country of Evarsce. Her parents were disturbed to say the least.  Cadence was a Gnome-slayer and a barbarian. He abused Pala and she took it out on Vappu. Sage felt great pity for Vappu because of her childhood but she still had the choice to make something of her life.  She chose the dark way. Pala eventually got tired of her husband’s aggressive manner and one night, she murdered him in his sleep. Pala was executed because of the horrid laws in Evarsce. It is against the law to execute criminals in Ikriam.

The Elves here respect all living creatures, good or evil. Vappu was found hungry and ill by a old elf couple traveling through Evarsce to Ikriam. They adopted her and she grew into a stunning elf. She has ankle-length jet black hair with sparkling green eyes with  specks of silver colour lost in them. The only thing that would ever make you think she’s not as wholesome as she pretends to be is her mouth.  A thin line of blood red lips. No smile present whatsoever. And if she smiles, she looks menacing. Like she knows something you don’t.

She met King Gadwalader at a royal feast while she was working in the kitchen and he was struck by her unusual beauty and charm.  She literally made every possible plan to keep bumping into him. And two years ago her father announced he was to be married to Vappu.  

Because she is not of royal blood, her title is Her Majesty, Vappu, Consort of King Gadwalader. Before Sage’s mother was married to Gadwalader she was known as Lady Sacha-Gailia of Parisria, a distant country. After the wedding her title changed to Queen Sacha-Gailia of Ikriam, Royal Highness and Mother Elf. As Takvor was the first born son he was known as His Royal Highness, Crown Prince of Ikriam but after his disappearance he could no longer be the Crown heir. As Sage is the second eldest she is now known as Her Royal highness Sage-Maeva, crown princess of Ikriam. Her little sister is known as Princess Saira of Ikriam.

At that moment Saira burst into the library “Sage! Father is asking for you.  I think he is going to d…” Saire burst into tears and fell into Sage’s arms. “Oh Sage! Must he go? Must he leave us alone?” she whimpered.

 “Come Saira. We must be with him! Daegmund, will you join us please?” Sage asked.

“Of course Your highness” he replied.  They ran down the corridor and entered the royal chambers.  Vappu was sitting next to the king on the bed, holding his hand. She got up and glared at them.

 “I wish to be with my husband alone.” she growled.

“There will be no such thing, Vappu. He is our father and we shall do as we please. Now move woman before I set the guards on you!” Sage said and with that she sat next to her father. 

 “Father? Are you awake?” The king opened his eyes and focused on Sage’s beautiful face.

”Don’t be sad my dear. I have lived my life…my life was complete.”  He looked as Saira and said ”Daughter, come here.”

 Saira sat on his other side and took his limp hand in hers.”Saira dear. You are so beautiful…you look like my mother.Same…same rose red eyes and hair. The same voice…” he stuggled to speak.”Be go…good to our family and marry well…for…for you are so exceptional.I do love you” Saira whimpered and said ”Father, you are my heart.”  

The king turned to Daegmund”My dearest friend and confidant…use your wisdom to bring Ikriam glory” Daegmund couldn’t speak. 

 “Vappu my dearest wife. Thank…thank you for my last wonderful years filled with you.” Vappu looked blank and had to force a painfull expression. 

 To finish he looked at Sage and a tear rolled down his white cheek.”Sage-maeva. Daughter beloved. You will one day be…the greatest ruler Ikriam has ever had. You, your sister and your mother…will always be my favourite girls. Precious in my heart…and memories.When you find Takvor…oh takvor my son… I love you…” 

King Gadwalader breathed his last breath and with that gave full power to the most horrid elf in the kingdom and leaving his daughters Sage and Saira to try and save Ikriam.

  And that turned out to be the most difficult thing they ever could imagine doing.

 


21

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Comments:

More, more, more!!!!

Posted: Aug 19, 2007

Author Comment:

Nita, I'm typing i'm typing!! Thanx!

Loved it!!!
It is really good, I must read more!!
Five Stars!!!

Posted: Aug 31, 2007

Author Comment:

Thanx so much!! Glad you enjoyed it. :)

i love this chapter. great beginning. keep it up

Posted: Sep 2, 2007

Author Comment:

Thanks so much! I do hope the story isn't getting boring. If it already is - please let me know so i can work on that.

Thanx for reading and the compliment.
Eileen

Superbly well written, if all chapters are as good as this first one then your novel promises to be top of the line.

Posted: Sep 2, 2007

Author Comment:

Thank you so much! I hope all chapters are good but if its beginning to suck will you please let me know?
Thanks again for reading and you comment!
Eileen

This thing rocks! It's just like what I love to read. You really are a gifted writer.

Posted: Sep 27, 2007

Author Comment:

Thank you Zephyr!I'm glad you like it. I'll publish the new chapter 2nite. Thank you again for your wonderful comment and for reading. I hope you'll like the new chapters.

AHhh!! i never thought to read this, and now i have......and i LOVE IT!!!!!! It made me think of my novel aswell, and although it is still young, i feell its charm is slipping :(

Thanks to this though it has been given yet another boost! Great read, and wonderful characters already! Elves are awesome!! I honestly dont know how i never read this!!!!!

[lionheart bends over in submission to allow funny bunny to beat him sensless]

Posted: Dec 29, 2007

Author Comment:

haha! thanx! (Funnybunny pulls out a french bread roll and whacks Lionheart over the head while screaming "BAAAAAAD Lionheart! BAAAAAAD Lionheart!")
just kiddin'

I cant wait to read the next chapter!
This is really cool!
keep up the great work!
10 out of 10!

Posted: Dec 29, 2007

Author Comment:

thanx for reading the rest. I'm glad u enjoy it!!! i'll write more soon

Thanx so much trainman. i'm glad u like it

Posted: Dec 29, 2007

Yeah, I've finally gotten a chance to read this. I keep seeing it in the top 20, but haven't found the time, yeah!!!!!!!!

I LOVED it. I'll begin reading the next chapter tomorrow.

~DarkFairy~

Posted: Feb 12, 2008

Author Comment:

glad u liked it! thanx for read & comment

It's really good so far!

Posted: Feb 15, 2008

Author Comment:

thanx so much. hope u enjoy the rest. thanx for read & comment

This is so great! You have an awesome way of putting things, and you really should keep writing more to this book!

Posted: Feb 17, 2008

Author Comment:

thanx beatrice. i havent had much time but will do. thanx for read & comment

i thought that this was a beautiful submission. as a first chapter, it draws one in, and entrances you. as the comments before me demonstrate, this work captures. as far as i go, the subject matter is right up my ally, and all the beauty makes me want to read more and more. your attention to detail is amazing. however, if i may, i'd just like to add a bit of constructive critisicm to make it even better(sorry i'm a terrible speller. everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, right?), and hope that you might read my submissions if you ever have time, and do the same for me. you have a few typos, gramamtical errors and (like me) a spelling error here or there. you also have a tendancy to info-dump or get a little TOO detailed, losing the action. a little editing could make this superb! you have an excellant plot and chapter structure (which is my downfall- my chapters are all over the place), not to mention chracter development. cant wait to go read the next chapter!

Posted: Feb 17, 2008

Author Comment:

thanx for ur help. i'll look into it. thanx for read & comment

I know I already commented, but again I must say, this is a fantastic chapter. I read on your page that you aren't so good with English/Spelling, but I think you're great! Keep it up :)

Posted: Feb 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Hey thanx a lot!! I'm not english speaking so it means a lot to me.!! hahaha i dont suck! yay! thanx for the read. i hope u enjoy the others aswell.

I can't believe I never decided to read this before!!! "bows" I am not worthy....

Posted: Feb 18, 2008

Author Comment:

hahaha!! I'm glad u enjoyed it! I was thinkin about giving up on this novel...its exhausting! I was on leave but i'll write more soon i promise!!

Great story sound reall interesting.

Posted: Feb 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you Diaomond21 - I hope you like the rest

Woah. This is crazy. I must bow down to your...awesometude? Haha. But really, it has got to be one of the best things I've read in a while.

Posted: Feb 26, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you so much!! awesometude? i like the word! hehehe

Great Job!
(not registered user)

I dont belong to Booksie, but i love reading the stories. Yours has been one of the best so far! :)
You should write a sequel and post it, I would sooooo read it!!!

By the way, please write back whether you will write a sequel!!! thanx!!!

Posted: Feb 28, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanx so much! Actually this one isn't finished yet. I've got a serious case of writers block! But i'll try and write more. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

WOW! This must have taken some effort and patience to write, but it certainly payed off! One thing I'd like to know: How do you come up with these brilliant names? That's my problem, i come up with a good stroy and can't think of any good names at all!

Keep up the reading and keep on writing and you'll be a great writer. It's weird, i dunno about you but i tend to write in the style of my favourite books. Read mine:

('Tribes', historical fiction)

Does it sound anything like JK Rowling, Phillip Pullman, Dan Brown or JRR Tolkien? Keep up the good work!

Posted: Mar 1, 2008

Author Comment:

Hey thanx. Yeah, each chapter really takes me a while to write. yeah the names. Google 27,000names. I usually choose greek names or italian ones. I went to a lot of trouble to get the right names because i didnt want a story with silly names you know? I'll read yours asap I promise. thanx for the read and comment

very well written! i love how you established who the characters are and i love where you're going with this! feel free to check out some of my work. =) now back to reading! =)

Posted: Mar 4, 2008

Author Comment:

I'll do so. thanx for read

Awesome relly well written, wish i had this kind of skill. I try at least. Again, AWESOME!!

Posted: Mar 5, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you! Very flattering. I'll be sure to read your work. Thanx for read and comment!

sliver
(not registered user)

wow. i mean wow ur good i can't get enought.

Posted: Mar 16, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you!

Very nice!!! I'm impressed. this is a great start to a promising novel! don't you let this one go. ;)

Xx Ash xX

Posted: Mar 16, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you Ash! I'm working on the next chapter

I saw this in the "Popular" section, so I figured I'd give it a good read and review. Expect sarcasm ahead, that's how I review. Everything is in my opinion, not yours. You are the author, I am the reviewer. With that being said, let's begin.

- First...your characters names. Are you serious? Some of them I just started laughing at and decided to not even go into pronouncing them. "King Gadwalader." As soon as I read that name, I thought of "God's Wallop." Then there's "Sacha-Gailia." Such-A-Gay-Lia' and even though I know that's not how it's supposed to be pronounced (gods, I hope not), that's just how it looks and reads. "Vappu." I was thinking of Vaporeon from pokemon...but then I thought I heard the name somewhere else, so I googled. You need to look at the google on it. "Vappu, closest translation in english Labor Day, is the day when whole Finland is drunk." My jaw dropped on that one, but wow. I like the names Sage, Annora, Daegmund, and Saira. The others...*shakes head*

["Sage, darling(,)” King Gadwalader whispers(,)]
You can change the ending period to a comma, to continue him talking.

[“No(,) Father!” (S)he yelled(.)]
And here we have the Girl-Without-Name. Don't say "she yelled." Put her name in there.

[“I will not be (q)ueen because you will not die! You will be healthy and strong again(,) Father. Strong enough to take your (rightful) place as King of Ikriam once again.]

[I need my (f)ather(,)]
I don't think "father" needs to be capitalized here, because it's not replacing his 'name.'

[Big(,) golden starlike eyes.]

[Gold and brown hair that fall onto her perfectly formed calves.]
*sighs* He's looking into her eyes. How is he seeing her hair fall down to her calves? Take that part out, it's not needed. Just show her hair or whatever you like. When you show us that his eyes are traveling around her, then you can start stating things away from her face.

[A fine(,) pointy nose,( )full lips the colour of a pink rosebud(,) and high cheekbones.]

[Tall and thin but still she has the perfect body.]
Maybe: Tall and thin, but still perfect.
Not sure.

[(Graceful) like her mother.]

[“Sacha-Gailia, my beloved wife. How I long for you. In my last hour, my love, I will think of only you(.)” ]
Since he's thinking this, you don't need the quotations. That makes us think he's saying it.

[Sage, not knowing of the sorrow in her father’s heart, (held) his hand and silently (sobbed).]
I don't think "silently" is right here. Can you silently sob? No, you sob out loud. You can silently cry, where the tears just run down your face, but sobbing is an out-loud thing.

[She couldn’t (lose) her father.]

[The only family (she’d) have left is her sister, Saira(;) her brother(,) Takvor ((although he (disappeared) a year ago without a trace))(; and) her stepmother, Vappu.]

[She (couldn't) stand that woman. Nobody (could).]
You're switching tenses. Don't do that. You go from speaking in past tense to an abrupt present tense. In fact, you seem to be doing it a lot later on in the story. Really tiresome after a while.

[Sage got up and started walking up and down.]
First, you never showed us that she was sitting down. I thought she was standing beside her father. Second, if she's walking up and down, I'm guessing there's a staircase nearby. Interesting.

[Frustrated because she knows once her (f)ather has passed on,]

[Although Sage is the (rightful) heir to the Crown,]

[(c)onsort of King Gadwalader and future ruler of the Kingdom of Ikriam(,) to have relations of any sort with those underground pests.]

[Oh(,) Father.]

[“My Lady(,)” Annora said softly while entering the bedchamber(,) “I’m sorry to bother you(,) but Daegmund wishes to speak with you in the Library.”]

[“Of course(,)” Sage replied.]

- The next paragraph is an infodump. When in the wrong place at the wrong time, these are bad. The author (you) has now entered the story and decided to give us a briefing on what she is wearing and how pretty she looks. Guess what? We don't care. You've just stopped time to give us a bunch of crap that doesn't matter. So while we're waiting for some action, you babble as the Author Intrusion begins. Don't.

- I'm going to stop here. The beginning didn't hook me. Where's the action at? It's like I'm sitting in History class all over again, listening to lectures of what happened and yadda, yadda, yadda. Not exciting, sorry. You need to grab the reader in the beginning, otherwise you'll lose us.

It's not a bad story, mind you. Not bad. It just didn't--and still doesn't--keep my attention. Sorry, wish you well in continuing this though.

Until next time.

Posted: Mar 23, 2008

Author Comment:

Well, that must have taken you quite a while to write hey? First off: I'm not English so I tend to mix my tenses. Big deal. 2nd: This is light reading. Just deal with the faults and stupid story line. 3rd: I like the names and Yes I am serious. All of the names happens to be Irish names which I found ONLINE. 4th: Are you a guy? You must be one cause I care what she looks like and so does the other readers before you. 5th: Infodump? So what? And I don't write "crap" as you so very nicely put it. If you don't like what I write, please don't refer to it as crap. I would have given you a polite answer until I read the "crap" part. But thank you very much for all your input. I'll be sure to read yours.

My comment:
I have just joined Booksie, and you wrote chapter 1 in aug 2007, and when I writing this you have published 16 chapters. That’s my reason for not commenting sooner.

My comment of your writing style is this:
You are doing one thing wrong, and that is that you switch POV (the person that is the Point Of View) a lot.
An example:
Paragraph 3: Gadwalader is POV. (and beautiful would be a better word than gorgeous, his is her father after all.)
Paragraph 4: I’m not sure who says this, but I guess it’s Gadwalader.
Paragraph 5: Sage is POV.

And Kaij is right about some of her infodump comments. The first paragraphs of explanation on Vappo is your comment as the author to the reader, it’s not something that any of the characters are thinking.

-------------------

I have no problems with the names. I know a lot of fantasy writers gets comments like why all those silly names. That’s not fair.

If I were to write a fantasy novel, the mighty leader of the elves, Hank Johnsen, wouldn’t work, but Leesil Vorulainen, would work.
The beautiful elven princess Eva Martinez wouldn’t work, but Lyyra Windrider would.
The mighty dwarf John Washington wouldn’t work, but Ulrik Thunderbeard would.
The terrible dragon Fido wouldn’t work, but Graxx would.
The terrible sorceress Dorothy Smith, known as Little Dottie (because of her lack of hight) wouldn’t work, but Black Elvira would.

That’s just how it is.

--------------------
Did I like it?
Yes I did. There was a lot of info, and names to learn, but there was emotions and interesting characters. There are conflicts of interest which make me suspect that a lot of intrigues and powerplay will take place in the following chapters.

I will read more to learn how this ends.

Please don’t be offended by the first comments, it’s just advice, and you are free to write whatever and however you want.

Posted: Apr 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you Tor. I appreciate your input. Hope you enjoy the rest.

Brilliant work. I love your writing style. It is very engaging and no where near boring. I want to read all the chapters you have up at this very moment. I have to tell you, your novel defines my favorite type of writing.

Sage seems like a very interesting character. I want to know much more about her. But I will have to read the other chapters for that. Please visit my page when you have the time. I will really appreciate it if you read my novel that I just started and give me feedback on it. I am new, so I need all the feedback and possibly, critique, I can get.

Posted: Apr 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you Sunset for your kind words. I do hope you enjoy the rest. I'll be sure to stop by on your page.

It's great story!I just like it.

Posted: May 5, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanx Baiqiong

Seriously, i got hooked with everything. You use simple words which i really like since it's not confusing and easy to understand. Moreover, your story flows really well.

Posted: May 6, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you.

Awesome, I can't wait to read more. I'm really looking forword to reading more. This is my kind of story.

Posted: May 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you. I hope you enjoy the rest. Thanx for read and comment.

I thought it best to start at the beginning instead of jumping to chapter 15. I'm a shocking critic as I see all writing creative and see things others don't. A great start and will come back for more. Keep up the good work. Blessings CJ

Posted: May 16, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you for the nice comment, Christine.

hi, i'm new here in booksie. You have a great style as a writer. keep it up, i loved reading it. :)

Posted: May 16, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you suzanne and welcome to the booksie family. go check out the Booksie Crew.

aww I like it sad start but sounds like a good book

Posted: May 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks shining star - hope you like the rest

can you please give me some tips on writng

Posted: May 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Just let your imagination go!! Write from your heart and don't ever worry about what other people might think. Write who you are. never try to copy someone else's style, just be yourself.

Love it! Your really inspire me to right even more! great work keep it up!!!

Posted: May 22, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you

You're definitely off to a great start. Keep writing!

Posted: May 22, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you

i love it.the saddness,the discription it put me right there with sage her buety and her saddness it was like she could be queen but didnt want to.i love theese type of stories so continue to write.by the way id give you three thumbs up but i only have two so great job!!!!!!!

Posted: May 26, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you gumdrop

amazing, I really love the detail and emotion, I can see you've put great effort into this and I can't wait to read the rest.

Posted: Jun 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanx so much. What a nice comment.

I'm looking forward to reading some more of this! I have to agree with Kaij and Tor Steinsland mentioned above about the infodump. While the information (the paragraphs about Vappu's history, Vappu's list of royal titles, the capital punishment laws of various nations, etc) may be important to the story it shouldn't just told to us while we're at the king's bedside, hoping he'll survive.

A better place to put such things would be in dialog, like the one between Daegmund and Sage. Instead of saying that Vappu is evil and in league with the dark elves you could make it a part of their conversation. It keeps the action going without stopping to tell some bit of background.

The scene would be more powerful, I think, if were just about a daughter watching her father die. ...in my opinion, at least.

I look forward to reading some more.

Posted: Jun 5, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it.

i like the story, but its a little hard to get into. to me it just seems a like a novel for young adult readers. not that there is any problem with that, but not what i enjoy reading. but keep up the good work, i like the fantasy element.

Posted: Jun 7, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you

awesome, cant wait to keep reading

Posted: Jun 7, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you

hey, this is a really well-written piece of fantasy! I love how your characters are so realistic that I can see them doing the thing you describe! I'm going to end this comment now so I can read more!

~Brad

Posted: Jun 11, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you Brad

I like this story. It has strength and charisma. It portrays the time period where fantasy is always assumed to be well.
--------------------------KEEP WRITING

Posted: Jun 15, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you Archangel. I loved your comment!!

have you ever thought of publishing this novel?

Posted: Jun 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Uhm no. It's not that good but thanx for the comment. I appreciate it.

Great start to what I'm sure will be a promising and enticing novel. I very much enjoyed the beginning to this as my first read on this site (I'm new here). Congratulations, keep writing!
- E.V. Gray :)

Posted: Jun 22, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you Evie and welcome to Booksie. I know you'll enjoy it very much.

Very amazing

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you Kirsten

I just started to read this but I can't wait to read more! Your writing is really captivating!

Posted: Jun 27, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you Spaxx

hey, you're giving me great inspiration for my novel, Imerian's Dawn! Keep up the good work!
Justine

Posted: Jun 28, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you Justine

wow that was so awsum it was so well put out five stars

Posted: Jul 4, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you. Glad you liked it

OMG! I didn't want to read this, but you had like 2000 reads and I was like OMG! I was soooooooo jealous, but I have to admit. It sucked... LOL JUST KIDDING! It was good. I guess, please read some of mine. except they're horror, but please check them out. IT would be an honor for you to read some of my works and comment them.

Posted: Jul 10, 2008

Author Comment:

hAhAhahAHhA i sure will

What's the fuss all about? i have tried to read this yarn several times and can't keep my eyes open long enough to stay focused maybe someone went to an oxford library and just indulged in a few readings from a number of illustrius writers works and bingo we got IKRIAM at least the first writer was bang on it is still very popular and it's well past september.

Posted: Jul 28, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you for your opinion Bufferdude

Ignoring the grammatical errors, I loved it! :D Don't listen to what some of those people say about the names and stuff! I LOVED the names and whoever doesn't should just just DEAL WITH IT. You're popular, and for a good reason! This is amazing and I can't wait to read more! I'm a starter here and I was thinking that you could help me with something: would you mind taking the time to read my story XD Clarification? It would be so helpful! Anyway, continue to write what you write best because you are writing the best!

"Inspiration is not something to be found, but discovered."
-Elizabeth May Lines

Posted: Jul 31, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you Elizabeth. i loved your comment and I'll drop by on your page

Wow, this is really cool! I will definitely read the rest of this!

Posted: Jul 31, 2008

Author Comment:

Aww thank you emily

WOW great job!!!!!!
Please come and read my friends and my story The End...Or Was It??? I would really like to know what you think!!!

Posted: Aug 7, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you and I will.

Heyy, I was wondering if you could read my story. It's only one chapter so far, and I just wanted to see what you think.

Book of Warriors. :)

You don't have to, but i'd like your opinion. Coz you're just so darn good.

Thanks!

Dannika,

Posted: Aug 11, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you and i will. Just give me some time

Okay, yeah, sure. Do watcha want, just please, comment. It makes me feel good.

Posted: Aug 14, 2008

Author Comment:

Asap. I'm quite busy at the moment but will do.

I love this story! At first it sounded like a book I wouldn't want to read, but then I started to read it and I couldn't stop!

Posted: Aug 21, 2008

Author Comment:

it happens a lot to me to!! Thank you clubbhousecomics

wow i love this story this should be a real book

Posted: Aug 21, 2008

Author Comment:

Aww sweet vampknight! Thank you so much. I wish it were a real book

awesome! you inspire me........

Posted: Aug 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you Mizoko

(00)

*speechless*





*still speechless*




*still speechless*



*snaps out of it*


WOAH! gimme chance to find some words to describe wht i think......awesonly,brilliantly,amazingly,excellemtly,superbly, *adds all the other praising words in the world which i cant think of right nnow* GREAT!

the description is amazing, and the idea, the names, and the imagery is excellent!

its fast moving, [which i love cos that means no one ever complains about a slow story] it makes me burn with curiosity cos i want to know what happens :D

i love it [*clicks the 'i like' button*]

great work
*two thumbs up*
going to chapter twoooooo......^^

Posted: Aug 31, 2008

Author Comment:

haHah oh you are so sweet. Thank you very much

Very very nice! I like it a lot. I shall read more once I don't have piles and piles of homework to do... damn you AP English...

:D And I even get eighteen chapters with no wait! Woo!

Posted: Sep 1, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you very much! Good luck with the homework!



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