Random First Lines:  Sarah’s POV “Why did you do it dad?”, I shrieked in disbelief and barely controlled... : Romance » Read

Welcome Visitor: Login to the siteJoin the site

The Battle For Ikriam

Novel By: FunnyBunny
Fantasy


Desperate to save her late Father's Kingdom from Vappu, Sage the Elf has to do battle with enemies and her own fears. View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

Submitted: Aug 22, 2007    Reads: 335    Comments: 11    Likes: 11   


Chapter 2 – Takvor

 Sacheverell looked down at the sleeping elf and sighed. Why would she keep him here so long.  It’s been almost a year since that woman sent for us.   

He turned around and beckoned Eachann closer. “Call me when he awakens.  I need to speak with him.”  “Yes, commander” the soldier responded.  Eachann had great respect for Sacheverell.  He was a great and mighty commander and never made the wrong choices before.  But ever since this lad joined them Eachann felt a bit…well unnerved. 

Something about this elf unnerved him and even worse, he has to guard him.  What if the elf wakes up one day and remembers who he is.  Who is he? Mabye he’s a Dwarf killer and he’ll chop all our heads off.  Mercy be! I’ll n…” “Eachann!” Sacheverell shouted

Eachann almost jumped out of his armour.  “Y-y-yes Commander?” he stuttered.“You may close the door now and stop dreaming” the Dwarf said with a smile.

“Apologies Commander.  I was just thinking…well…what if he is a…well who is he?”

“That is what we all want to know Officer.” He sighed. “We will know nothing until he speaks.”  The dwarf walked down the stone corridor, his huge feet covered with steel armor clanging on the stone tiles.                    

 Sacheverell walked into the room of his advisor and trusted friend, Onesimus. 

“Onesimus, have you heard nothing from that elf-woman?”

“No my friend.  Not since she called for us.  Why did she bring him here? Moulingsu of all places.  This is our mountain.  We want peace and who knows what this elf’s presence here will bring.” Onesimus said.“Yes yes I know.  I just wish he would speak.  He hasn’t said a word since he arrived here.”“Is it time for his drink yet?”

Onesimus asked“I think it is.  Let us take it to him” Sacheverell opened a drawer and took the mixture from it.  It was an awfully brilliant blue colour. 

The woman who sent the elf here gave this to him with the instructions to let him drink a drop everyday.  She said the elf was sick and the mixture would help him heal, but Sacheverell had his doubts. 

 He thought it made the boy even more ill. He had been playing around with an idea for weeks now. What if I stop giving him the concoction?  Perhaps he will recover.

“Onesimus, what if I don’t give the boy the mixture?”

“Why?” Onesimus looked confused.

“If there was the slightest chance this is making him more sick” he looked at the container “wouldn’t you want to stop giving it to him?

“Well of course! You don’t think this is the cause do you?”Sacheverell looked worried.

“I do”

“Then we should stop! At once.  The woman isn’t here and I doubt she’ll be coming back.”

With that Sacheverell threw the container against the wall.  The liquid ran down the wall and with it the secrets that it kept. 


11

Email this story Email this story | Print Story Print Story | Add to reading list

Comments:

Omg!!!
My fav line is the last one!!
"The liquid ran down the wall, and with it, the secrets that it kept"
OMG, I love this story.... I must have more.... More more more!!!!!
Five Stars yet again...
(Btw, It isnt like lord of the rings.. I am watching it now, and it is not very similar, besides the elf thing, There are no dark elves in it either!!)

Posted: Aug 31, 2007

Author Comment:

LOL!! Thank you so much. You dont know how much this means to me. I didn't want to continue writing this story because I didn't think anybody was reading it. Because of your comment I'll start writing again asap! :)Eileen

i must agree, i've seen LOTR many times and your story bears not the slightest semblance to it. i really like your writing.

Posted: Sep 2, 2007

Author Comment:

Thanks - i suppose i should take the FYI out, don't you. Just somebody said something bout LOTR and i didn't want anybody to think i'm trying to do the whole elf thing cause of the movie.
Thanx for the compliment - appreciate it!
Eileen

I hate to sound like a parrot but your story is superbly well done, and the story is quite different from lord of the rings. Keep up the good work.

Posted: Sep 11, 2007

Author Comment:

You don't sound like a parrot at all!! Your comments mean a lot to me.

lotr?!?!?! How could you compare? This is in a different line altogether, and a brilliantly original story! I loved the last line!!! "the secrets that it kept"!!! I've fallen in love with this story!!! Hope it gets better!!

Posted: Dec 29, 2007

Author Comment:

Hey thanx. Lotr...dont even ask. its a comment i got from somebody claiming i watched lotr 2 many times...anyway i do hope you like the rest.

I'm guessing the elf is her brother and her step mother is the one that brought him to the dwarves? Just a guess, and I know read on to find out. I will. I love the last line too, it was great. If I could I would give you five stars too.

~DarkFairy~

Posted: Feb 15, 2008

Author Comment:

thanx darkfairy. hope u enjoy the rest. thanx for read & comment

Very well done!!! The last line is very very witty!

Posted: Feb 18, 2008

Author Comment:

I got a lot of comments on the last line in this chapter but when i first wrote it, i thought it was stupid. obviously not. Thanx Cathy for reading and the comment!!

eeeeps! XD
i love the last line. 5 stars all the way!

Posted: Mar 4, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanx Alice!

This chapter is iinteresting. I am definitely hooked on this novel. Sacheverell was very smart to figure out what that blue mixture is doing to the injured elf. Well, on to the next chapter!

Posted: Apr 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you Sunset.

LOTR? Doesn't look like one. This is perfectly your idea, and i found myself getting more and more interested. Please don't stop writing this novel till the end...

Posted: May 6, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you

There are no large and obvious infodumps here in the chapter but there are many examples of telling instead of showing. The second paragraph says that the commander was great and mighty. Why not show how great and mighty he is instead of just saying it? You could describe his uniform and all of the service metals on it. When he walks by his troops you could say that they look at him with pride. You wouldn't have to say he was great but the reader would get the idea.

Now, while I haven't read any further ahead, yet (but I will!) I'm going to guess that the sleeping elf is Takvor and that Vappu sent him to the dwarfs and told them to keep him away. I really, really hope this isn't the case because A) it's obvious, and B) you've made it absolutely clear so there is no more mystery about Takvor's disappearance.

Well, on to the next chapter!

Posted: Jun 5, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you for your input. I appreciate it.

Ewokey
(not registered user)

This is great so far. It really makes you want to keep reading!Can't wait to read the next chapter!I would rate it 10/10

Posted: Jul 28, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you so much



Add Your Comments:

Your Name:

Spam protection control::

© Copyright 2008 FunnyBunny All rights reserved. FunnyBunny has granted theNextBigWriter, LLC non-exclusive rights to display this work on Booksie.com.

About | News | Contact | Your Account | TheNextBigWriter | Advertise

© 2008 TheNextBigWriter, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Policy.