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The Battle For Ikriam

Novel By: FunnyBunny
Fantasy


Desperate to save her late Father's Kingdom from Vappu, Sage the Elf has to do battle with enemies and her own fears. View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

Submitted: Aug 31, 2007    Reads: 236    Comments: 12    Likes: 8   


 

 

CHAPTER 6

 

"Happy Birthday Saira!"  Sage said while giving her little sister a warm hug.

 

They were sitting outside in the palace gardens.  Sweet tiny bluebrids were washing themselves in the chrystal bird bath their mother had bought for the birds.  They were tweeting away and shaking their lovely feathers.  A cool breeze gently made the tree branches dance and the red roses joined in. 

 

Sage took in all the beauty.  It was her mother's idea to plant the rose bushes.

 

"Sage, if I'm ten now, how old are you" Saira asked

 

"Oh Saira, you aren't supposed to ask a lady her age.  It is very rude. But if you must know, I'm 18."

 

"But your'e not a lady.  You are my sister." Saira replied with her childlike innocence.

 

Sage nearly fell out of her chair with laughter. "Oh darling, I do love you so much."

 

"Sage, do you think Mommy knows its my birthday?"

 

"Saira, mommy does know its your birthday.  She knows everyting about you."

 

"But how can she if she is d...you know what"

 

"Mommy lives in your heart, Saira.  Everything is the same as before but you can't see her now.  She doesn't love you any less.  When you miss her, just come to the garden and pick a lovely red rose.  Hold it close to your heart and you'll know.  Know how much she loves us" Sage was almost crying now, but she had to be strong for her sister.

 

"Come with me Saira" Sage took her by the hand and led her to the rose bush.  She carefully picked two roses and gave one to Saira.

 

"Now, tell mommy how much you love her" Sage softly said.

 

From a window a dark face watched the two sisters kneeling on the ground, remembering their mother.

 

Vappu turned around and with an ugly twist of mouth she walked away.


8

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Comments:

YIKES!!!
Scary Vappu, Dont like her at all!!
She is scary and mean, two things an Elf is not supposed to be!!
MEANIE Vappu!!!
I HATE HER!!!
Oh well, I hope she gets eaten by a dragon or something...
Well Five Stars, and CANT WAIT TO READ MORE!!!
^_^!

Posted: Aug 31, 2007

Author Comment:

YAY! That was the idea - that Vappu should be scary. But you haven't seen the worst of her yet. Thanx for reading and rating.:)

Vappu kinda reminds me of Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty. lol

Posted: Sep 2, 2007

Author Comment:

LOL! She's even worse. Maleficent has this gothic style about her and I don't know if thats evil enough for Vappu. What do you think?
Thank you for reading!

Another job extremely well done. Vappu is a very interresting character, what schemes does she have up her sleeve for the kingdom? or more importantly, for Sage? The birthday was very well done, showing Sage's soft and loving side rather than her cold relationship with Vappu, adds a human( or should I say elvish) touch to an already kick but character. Keep up the excellent writting.

Posted: Sep 11, 2007

Author Comment:

I wanted people to see Sage as a feisty character but loving and afraid for family. Vappu is just completely nutters! As I keep writing I really want you to see why Vappu is the way she is. Why she can't help it. Thank you for your lovely comment!

sliver
(not registered user)

its wow ur good . i love ur work.

Posted: Mar 16, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you.

aww that was so cute. i laughed outloud when saira was like "but your not a lady". i could see it so perfectly. haha.
well done!!

Posted: Mar 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Haha thank you alice. Saira is a very quite and delightful character.

Aww, a wonderful sisterly connection you have written. Now only my sister and I were like that.

Vappu creeps me out ~shivers~

~DarkFairy~

Posted: Mar 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Yeah its nice my sister and I are like that...vappu sucks!!

I loathed Vappu passionately. Don't like her at all.

Posted: May 6, 2008

Author Comment:

Yep I don't like her either.

I'm really getting into the story and enjoying it very much

Posted: May 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you Susan, I hope you enjoy the rest.

This chapter doesn't fit well following the previous ones. The reader doesn't know how much time has passed since the king's death and his daughter's birthday. It's confusing, too, that the girls are talking about their mother when their father has just died.

We don't know, still, if Vappu is being crowed queen or if Sage is making a move. And this chapter does nothing to move the plot forward (unless their ages have something to do with the plot). It could be skipped entirely or added to another chapter with more substance.

Posted: Jun 5, 2008

Author Comment:

I'll take a look. Thank you Xochiquetzal

Ewokey
(not registered user)

You are a wonderful writer but in the second paragragh you say "crystal bird bath their mother had bought for the birds" that seems a bit repetitive. I may just be i'm a nerd about that stuff but...
still all and all it's still awesome

Posted: Jul 28, 2008

Author Comment:

good point...I'll look into it thanx

Ewww, ugly Vappu. She should try smiling sometime.

Posted: Sep 15, 2008

Author Comment:

ohh yes she should

My sister and I hate each other.... I'm like Saira quite and a delightful person to be around however unlike her I'd go up to evil Vappu and kick her out a fourth story window. :D

Posted: Oct 1, 2008

Author Comment:

My sister hates my guts so...I hate vappu. she's a cow.



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