Ian hit his head hard against the desk. The anger and frustration that he had been keeping at bay flooded back in. All week he had been fighting it. He had been trying to keep the emotion inside him back, hidden from everyone. All this came to end tonight, all this was let out, when Ian started to cry.
"It was never supposed to have been like this! I wasn't supposed
to get hurt. I hadn't done anything to hurt anyone else." Ian
said quietly to himself, "How did I hurt you? How did I hurt
This name stung him. Memories of the past month flooded back to him. Late nights chatting aimlessly, those days at the park, that night when he had fought against all odds…."
NO! I must not think these thoughts, I must not think of her, I must not cry!" he told himself. But Ian's tears were flowing faster now. He knew that he couldn't help but think about all this.
He thought about those nights they had fought, and those fights were weird as they ended with one yelling at the other to yell back. They weren't angry, they were frustrating! Tara had first done it. Ian had been angry about something, and when he wouldn't tell Tara, she tried to draw the anger from him. She tried to make Ian vent on her. They never got the other to do it, but it seemed to help a little.
Ian looked up at his computer. This was it, he realized. The messenger screen told him that all his contacts were offline. He knew there was one girl, across town, who was probably sitting there with a certain guy blocked, but he couldn't help that. All he could do was sit, and stare. Sit, and wait.
He glanced over at the email he had hastily written. It was short, his always were, but he knew it could do something. Whether good or bad he would see. He read it to himself.
"Dear Tara. As of now, I have no idea if you'll ever talk to me again. I hope we'll work around this and work through it, whatever this problem is. I'm sorry for what I did, I didn't mean to do it, I should have known you had a reason. I'm sorry for the rock comment, I just took it the wrong way. Im sorry…."
He had started crying again. He thought he had stopped during his thoughts on the messenger, but they flowed more freely than ever. This was it he realized. Now or never! As he clicked the button to send that email buzzing through cyber space, a realization came to him.
"It's over" he said, though a little to loud. He glanced at the clock,"1:45 AM…way to late for me…Tara…."
Ian got up and walked his narrow stairs to bed. He laid in his bed and stared at the ceiling, crying softly. This was the end to the long journey he had taken. This was the end of Tara. To him this may as well have been the end of the world. To Ian, a part of him was lost. Tara was gone, and Ian couldn't change a thing. He fell asleep and dreamed. His dreams were cruel to him, harboring memories of not so long ago…