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Deep Waters

Novel By: karnipa
Fantasy


The Prologue of my story 'Deep Waters', it is about a girl being caught between two worlds, if you don't understand the prologue that's alright...you will understand in the future. View table of contents...

Chapters:

1

Submitted: Jan 27, 2008    Reads: 84    Comments: 2    Likes: 0   


Deep Waters
Prologue
 
 Phero inspected each sinister corner of the primitive, rusty building; it had been part of his routine for multifarious Mer years, although he never grew enervated of his vapid job, the anxiety of meeting an unwelcome fiend made his heart flutter.
 Trifling grains of rich, white sand drifted slightly with each passing, tenacious wave. Phero frowned a lower at the water rushing roughly at his sides, although some Mer creatures had considered Blue Sharks dimwitted, he was sharp enough to understand that there was a change in the lukewarm water, a transition of power and cogency, it chilled him, the water had been pleasant and welcoming, now, and it became a labyrinth of secrets and bloodcurdling mystery\'s.
  A school of silvery fish darted past Phero in the shadows. "Halt," Phero felt ashamed for bullying harmless fish, he tried to make his voice smooth and kind, and "Who goes there"?
  “Just a small group of Arctic Char, sir." One of the group members snapped at Phero. "No harm in taking a pleasurable swim, is there?"
 Phero examined the cowering group with curiosity. "Sorry-can\'t be too careless nowadays. Pardon me, if I am being too bold to ask, but don\'t Arctic Char breed farther south, in fresher waters?"
  A callow female spoke boldly, "it\'s getting too warm for our liking and the humans interfere plenty with the sea-," the snappy fish shoved the female, indicating she had spoken enough, the female began to bicker with her companions, finally she faced Phero, "as much as my friends, er-chide me so-I must admit, we are lost. I was wondering if you could direct us to the nearest village or current? We would all really appreciate it."
 Phero was glad to help the devastated outlanders, substantial amount of time had passed since he had had an intelligent chat with an impudent Mer creature, and he pivoted them towards the decrepit village and waved them a heartfelt farewell.
 “Farewell, dear friend. May no nets cross your path," the female wished with gratitude, "I thought Blue Sharks were cold-hearted and dimwitted. I was wrong, very wrong, indeed!"
  “Thank-you! May no fishing rods come your way! I\'m glad to hear that you think better of my kind," Phero replied, "the memories of Blue Sharks are interlinked, my brothers and sisters will not cause you any harm in the future. Even if they are fish-avoires." The fish were delighted to hear this so their goodbyes were not as dreary as predicted.
   The water looked cryptic after Phero\'s amiable encounter; it churned with a peculiar force. A desire for lust and vengeance. Even the radiant moon had vanished behind a batch of drab clouds, coating the village in a spell of vileness. 
  “Hello?" Phero called into the vast darkness uneasily, a black hand clutched his heart, spreading fear throughout his blood stream. "The Council Museum is closed now...please go home."
 His voice wavered in panic. The fish were long gone by now, Phero assumed his hidden attacker had acknowledged that, he waited for what seemed like ages, until the slightest noise echoed through the barren district, a tremble of pebbles on the sandy, uneven ground. Phero felt his blood freeze as fear eloped with his mind.
 “Phero..." Phero twirled, was he losing his mind? Hearing the sea speak wasn\'t considered normal, but then again, neither was acting dismayed at an unknown presence. Phero knew how to distinguish between a harmless creature or a foreign fiend, and his gut shrieked in warning that the mystical arrival was not a kindred spirit.
  Suddenly, Phero felt a calm liquid seep through his shaken body, mulling his senses. A Mer woman had appeared as if a ghost before him. Her hair was a light shade of green, streaked with fine, white hairs. Her protracted veils of silky strands were adorned by illiberal, effervescent miniature starfish, each a deep maroon color which matched the flaky shells covering her chest. Milky pearls formed a net around the firm, green tail adjoining with her upper body. Her lilac arms spread wide open as she welcomed Phero into a dark abyss and a warm embrace.
 All of a sudden, the Mer Woman\'s arms relinquished, her sea-blue eyes widened with horror, she drifted back into the shadows as Phero was doomed with the creature which had given the beautiful sea-goddess such fear and shock.
 A plunge of cold steel pierced his rubbery skin before Phero could manage to face his opponent. He felt death erode his sanity and leave him in agony and resentment. The last peals of moonlight evacuated the dark abyss and the hopeless, dying eyes of Phero.


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Comments:

Well this certainly is original. Well written and very interesting although.

"part of his routine for multifarious Mer years, although he never grew enervated of his vapid job"

That part is a bit hard to read, too many words that are not used in normal vocabularly doesn't make it flow smoothly.

Other than that I like it.

Keep Writing

Posted: Jan 29, 2008

i like this keep writing

Posted: May 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Aw. Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Any criticism? I'll definitly check out your work!



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