Random First Lines: SUMMER ROMANCEsummer romancenot meant to lastonly you on my mindyou were perfect to meuntil You broke my heart... : Other » Read

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A goth girl turns into a vampire and is catapulted into a world of lust, pain,greed, and power. View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Submitted: Sep 12, 2008    Reads: 183    Comments: 3    Likes: 2   


before you read:[ ]=thought ( )=information { }=authors input (my input)
"IT'S SUMMER!!!"I yelled as I walked into the house."KAYADA!" My mom called,"I have something to tell you!'
"Coming!" I said and ran up the stairs to my moms make up room
"yeah"i said as i hit the door frame
"we're going on a trip"
"oh...cool .i guess.Where to?" [why are we going on a trip after 15 years?]
"no.you dont under stand.Kayada you're ot a normal teenager."
"I know that but what do I not understand?"
"Well...how do you put this?hmm.You're a vampire.and your name is not really pronounced (kai-ah-dah) its really (Kae-ah-day)" "is this some kind of sick joke?"i ask suprised at how well mom could lie.
"No" [she's a good liar ill play along]
"Woa so where are we going?"
"the darkness realm of course.Your father and mother are waiting."
"father and mother? you and Rhett aren't my parents?"
"no"
"at12:00 you will change that's when we shallleave.oh and by the way you are not a normal vampire."
[great first she tells me im a vam pire which is AWESOME. now i'm not a normal vampire great]
"CHANGE?CHANGE? WHYON MY 15TH BIRTHDAY?! I JUST GOT MY DRIVERS LICENCE!"
"you shall see"
************************************************************************************
(9 hours later)
"So.let me get this straight."mom" in an hour im goingto turn into a vampire and we're going to a placecalled the darkness realm"
"yep"
"and you have no problem with that?"
"nope"
"okaaaaaaaay?"i looked at the clock 5 minutes left until "the big change" "are you sure you have the rightgirl?"
"kayada since birth ihavetaken care of you i know who you are"
*************************************************************************************
(30 seconds later)
A sharp pain went through my gums and I felt 4 of my teeth lengthen and sharpen.My already knee length hair grew another 10 inches.my thin body lost a few inches in the stomache. i looked in the mirror and saw i looked strangly pale and my features looked georgous. I suddenly sensed many things: The scent of the wicken my or what I had thought was my mom.I noticed her aura.
"believe me now?"she said with a smirk
i packed my clothes and we got into her silver firrari.I blinked and we were on a rocky path somewhere on a secluded corner of the grand canyon."IS THIS SPEED LEGAL?" i asked barring my teeth against the wind "legal?" she asked and i screamed we were going strait for the canyon i screamed,"STOP! you're going to kill us both!" i closed my eyes and waited to be crushed onto the sharp pointed rocks below. I suddenly heard the crunch of gravel i opened my eyes and saw a grand but dark town full of pale people.We drove to a ginormus mansion"this is yournew home"
"DAMN!"
"excuse me?"
"nothing"
i looked around and saw the door open.A man and a woman came out as soon as the woman saw me she came running and caught me in a death grip."you...must...be...my...mother"I said struggling to breath.
"Oh!yes i am Tyronesha and this is your father , Corronatio"she said indicating the beaming man behind her Sirali moved all my stuff and sped away while i talked to my parens {when you cross over most former thoughts leave your mind} my dad showed me my room it was completely black and red [my{and my}favourite colors] "time to shop"my mom said [she's so much like sirali] we went to a huge mall and she handed me a purse then, she drove away. I walked in and saw alot i mean ALOT of stores i looked in the purseand saw $1,000,000 and a note the note read:
Kayada
[yep it's for me]
go to alternation and by a uniform for erota
you must wear uniform on mondays
is okay for the rest of the week
(e-roe-ta) high school[:( monday] but whatever[yay!]
love,
Mom
[Okay where is alternation]
i looked up and saw... Altrnation
I went in and saw the basic layout uniforms on the outside walls and everday clothes on the inside.I walked over to the gold-plated sign that said Erota i chose three black and three red mini-skirts (they were the only black and red girls bottoms)and some black and red shirts."hey babe" came a voice from behind "what do you want?""you" "you cocky little..."
i stormed away before flew off in a rage at the check out i asked why there was no sold black and red clothes she said that they were too expensive and told me that my bill was $500
"Heres $1000 keep the change"i saidand her face lit up
[should i go to teen trend? nah too preppy] i went to go buy more clothes in my favorite colors.


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Comments:

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this iz reallt goode you should post more chapters

Posted: Sep 16, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks i wrote them down so i have to type them too there will be more SOON!!!!!!

Hey Alliyah,
This book is awesome.In case you did not know this is Raveena. I am using my new booksie because I forgot the password. Anyway I love this story but you need to post some more more often it is like you never get on. But I get on everyday because I suspended for fighting Josh. But don't believe what everyone tells you. I'll tell you the real story. A.K.A. the truth. And yes my nose is fine.It is not broken and never has been. It has not even been fractured. But anyway check out my sailormoon fanfiction it is on my booksie page.
Your friend,
Raveena

Posted: Dec 2, 2008

Author Comment:

y r u fighting the boi i have like LOVED! since 3rd grade anyway okay thats where both of yall went... anna & ashtyn say hey... ill look at it... i go by my pen name now!! yay!!! ill post more soon! A.T. A.K.A K.F

Hey, this seems like a good start although your format is really hard to read and sometimes understand. I like the idea. There are very few details and it goes by SO fast...I want to get to know the character a little more. Cool names though. Love them. Anyway, I would look at some of your grammatical errors as well as spelling and all I can say is "slow down" when you type, you will learn alot as a writer and a reader if you slow down and reread a sentence after you write it. I would also like a little bit of background. Is there anyway that you could maybe write like a prologue her "normal" life. Something in her past. That would be great and supply your audience with knowledge of the character as well as the feeling of time.
Great start. I see potential in this story!

Posted: Dec 15, 2008

Author Comment:

..... the only reason there are so many mistakes is because if i don't type fast enough i forget what comes next... plus my keyboard skips letters sometimes



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Other writing by kayoen freer the darkside THE year of the back sun book 1:isero just me all alone More..



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