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Should I, Should I Not?

Novel By: Maxyneetsee
Fantasy


Tags: romance, sad

Shouldn't I be a hero? I have super powers and shouldn't I use it for good? Then why is my family making me rob banks, shop lift, and steal?
This novel's about a girl who's struggling with the fact that she has powers and her family is making her use them for bad, not good. So she tries to find a way to make herself a good person, not bad, but also has help from a boy who accidently overheard that she has super powers. View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4

Submitted: Jan 14, 2008    Reads: 78    Comments: 4    Likes: 1   


     Shouldn't I be a hero? I have super powers and shouldn't I use it for good? Then why is my family making me rob banks, shop lift, and steal?
INTRODUCTION:
     Alice Baker is a 14-year-old girl who's struggling with the fact that she has powers and her family is making her use them for bad, not good. So she tries to find a way to make herself a good person, not bad, but also has help from a boy who's her age and has accidently overheard that she has super powers.
STORY:    
    As I walk past the nuclear plant to my school, an alarm was buzzing. I thought it was nothing so I ignored it and started walking. People were yelling and shouting but I couldn't hear anything from the loud buzzing. As I walk past the biggest nuclear plant I heard a crack. I stop, looking at my side to see a small crack on the nuclear plant. I hear another crack and see it, I gasp and the whole nuclear plant EXPLODED. A whole bunch of glowing green goo gets shoved into my mouth, making me partially choke and swallow it. 'Ohmigod what just happened?' I think, lying their on the cement floor with the goo covering me and lying all around me. I feel my body change and I try to get up, but i'm way too exhausted to do anything except feel my heart skipping a beat. I feel myself glowing as people start gathering around me murmuring. "Is she okay?" I hear one say, " I saw her take a big gulp full of that toxic waste..." I hear another say. I hadn't realized my eyes were closed. As soon as I heard 'toxic waste' my eye flitted open and my heart started hammering against my chest. I quickly sat up yelling out,"TOXIC WASTE?".  A few gasped as I got up slowly all of a sudden dazed, and dizzy. A few of the people who were working at the nuclear plant held me up right. "CALL 911!!" one of them yelled. I started panicking in my mind. What was mother going to say? What was father going to say? What was the KIDS AT SCHOOL going to say?!?! How could this happen to me? My grades were good, I wasn't rebellious to my family, I helped fairly with the chores, and I never did anything extremely bad in my whole entire life. Sure, you can call me a goody goody too shoe, but this is how I live and this isn't the way I wanted my life to be! i hear the ambulance with a few buff voices around me after a good 5 minutes. Have I been unconcious because nobody was asking how I felt, or what had happened. I must've been because the next thing I hear is a beeping sound. I open my eyes to see a white ceiling which was pretty dirty. I look to my side to see my mother's head sleeping on my side of the most uncomfortable bed I have ever felt. I also see the window and it was completely and utterly black outside. i hear my father's soothing snoring sound and I look to my other side and see my father sound asleep on a rocking chair, newpaper still in hand as if he accidently slept while readin the newpaper, which actually might've been true. I let my head daze around thinking the results of what had happened for today. As I do my mind replays the feeling of myself glowing, especially my heart. I daze as my mind wandered off towards a parallel universe where nothing awful has happened...


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Comments:

I Liked It.

Posted: Jan 15, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you

Hey mac. Sounds like that movie... something highschool! XD Cute! Like all ur writing!

Posted: Jan 16, 2008

Author Comment:

lols thank you Angel :)

You may wish to edit this some, as the formatting is really off. It comes out as a big block, which is really hard for the reader to read.

The story has potential, however, I find it hard to suspense my disbelief that a nuclear plant can explode to the point that the main character is swallowing toxic waste and have no one die? That is a serious issue! Have you ever heard of Chernobal?

I would advise explaining how people don't die and the places isn't closed off.

Posted: Mar 9, 2008

Author Comment:

..This is fiction...Ya know what fiction is right..?

I agree with Blackflame... there are too many errors and it distracts the reader. Some of your cliches are even spelled wrong.

I found it raw and unrefined... perhaps this is one of your first attempts?

Good luck with writing, I see you have a passion for it, and that is great. I would really work on this, however, as I felt most of the story was in the introduction and parts not of the story itself. Use your story-telling to create the characters and keep in mind that people want to feel and see what you are writing. Try expanding, and perhaps put some relevancy to this "dream". Also... nightmares are rather overdone and speak realms about the writer's mindset and age.
Good luck.

Posted: Mar 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Thxx this is like, just a minor thing what i'm really working on is Rhohsetta Brown. Check it out.



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Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Sad, Hope, Sex, Hate, Horror, God, War, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Humor, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Friendship.

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