Chapter Thirty Six: Part One
That morning when I woke up, I felt like total shit.
Tear streaks running down my face, my hair was tangled and there was no way in hell I could do anything with it, and with every minute, the white part of my heart was disappearing along with the gray, while the black only grew larger. My fate was coming soon, a fate that I hadn't expected.
Knowing that my fate was predetermined, well, wasn't that depressing enough in itself? And to add to the fact that my fate was to physically die, what in the hell was I supposed to say to that? What was I supposed to do? There was nothing I could do. That woman…I didn't know when she would come back around.
Sure, she had said dusk, but hell, what did that even mean? What would happen with the heart clock was up, when the darkness permeate over my entire arm? Would I actually die, or would something else happen?
So many questions, and I had zero answers. Thousands and thousands of questions, but exactly zero answers. I couldn't go anywhere with that; I couldn't save my own hide. I was destined to die. Or something worse. What was worse than death someone might ask? Well, I'm not evil enough to know what exactly that is.
"Melita!" I heard my mother's usually angry morning voice yell down the stairs as she stood in front of the open door. I immediately felt annoyed and flipped onto my side, hoping to ignore her.
"Melita, it's time to get up!" She yelled again. She's not going to go away…a part of my mind taunted, but I ignored myself.
I closed my eyes and lie down so that she would assume that I was asleep or something and I could stay home. I was wrong though, as I heard her heave a heavy sigh while she clomped down the stairs exasperatedly.
"Melita!" She yelled again, basically screaming right in my freaking ear. She bent over and started shaking my shoulder wildly, sending me flopping all over my bed. "It's 6:22, get up now!"
I don't know what it was; just built up rage, tension, and I don't know, maybe because of the fact that I was going to die at the end of the day. It was just the next thing I knew, I had pushed my mom off and was standing up on the floor next to my bed, yelling at her with my finger in her face.
"I KNOW WHAT FUCKING TIME IT IS," I screamed, feeling as if every bit of anger escalated with each word I said. Out of nowhere, I felt my hands gripping at her shirt and tugging; shaking her back and forth like she had done to me.
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'VE BEEN THROUGH? AND YOU'RE TELLING ME TO GO TO SCHOOL?" I shrieked, feeling as if a part of me that had been slowly growing insane was fully grown now, and was out of control.
I started shaking harder and harder, hard enough to the point that my head started to hurt and I became dizzy. And then I heard a snap. A literal snap, as if a toothpick was being broken, and I suddenly stopped. One moment, my hands were on her shirt and reaching for her neck, and the next, I was standing there with my hands at my sides and my eyes wide.
We stared at each other, both shocked about the actions that had transpired between the two of us. I was at a loss for words, and her? Well, she looked just as shocked as me. But the worse part of her was the fear in her eyes as if she didn't recognize me anymore, as if I was a different person. As if…I was someone to be feared.
And that's when I realized. I was supposed to be feared by people. That's why Aerial created me; to have such an amount of power that I ruled over everyone without even trying. That's why everyone was coming after me, wanting me dead, trying to teach me "lessons" by stripping my powers away. It all made sense now. If I wanted to, I could be fearless. And if people got in the way, I could easily take them out.
But this was my mother who I was talking to, the one who had raised me from a newborn baby. And I had just shaken her like I wanted her to stop crying. My hands had started to creep to her neck, as if I wanted to choke her. I wanted to choke my own mother. I really was a monster. It just took a while for me to realize it.
All of these realizations and epiphanies were hitting me all at once; it was hard for me to bear. I was surprised that I wasn't falling over now, having a panic attack. That was the old me. I was new, renovated, killing machine Ruler Melita Raphael Young. When had this change overcome me?
I was shoved out of my multiplying thoughts, when I felt my mother's palm slap against my cheek, sending a scorching hot strike through my cheek. I instantly rubbed my cheek, looking back up to her in shock. I was about to say something, but I felt her grip my shirt and pull me forward like I had done to her as she slapped me - hard - against the cheek two more times.
The blow sent me stumbling back and falling against my mattress, tearing the sheets off with me as I tried to get a grip. Surprisingly, I felt tears start to roll out and sting as they ran across my scorched cheeks, and I winced when I felt the stinging pain. She…she slapped me.
"M-mom?" I asked in a trembling voice. That fear in her eyes had turned into anger. She hated me. She hated her eldest daughter; she had no respect for me whatsoever. I knew it as soon as I looked to her eyes and flinched away from the cold stare.
"Get your ass ready for school and don't say a word to anyone. Do you understand me?" She said coldly, stepping up so that she was just a few centimeters away from me.
I opened my mouth to say "yes", but then realized that she told me not to say a word. I nodded instead, and she walked away back up the stairs without saying anything else.
I was a mindless robot as I trudged into the bathroom, my eyes still wide with shock from what had just happened. I threw cold water onto my face, and only thing I could comprehend happening was the sting as it ran across the stinging marks on my left cheek.
I scrubbed furiously, ignoring the pain until the red on my face just looked like I was blushing, since my skin was so pale from being in shock. I always found that odd, when my skin was pale, because it's like I have the ability to have a brownish-tannish colored skin, from my mother, but I guess I get the paleness from my dad.
I had just finished putting on my clothes and slinging my hair back into a ponytail when I heard the bus driver honk his horn. I grabbed my bag next to my bed and walked up the stairs sluggishly. I knew I was supposed to be hurrying, but I couldn't.
Marshall and Mya had already walked out the door and were ascending the bus stairs, but the thing that worried me was my mother, who was standing right next to the door like she always did when we got onto the bus. Her face was blank as I walked by.
But, once my entire body was almost out the door, she suddenly reached out her hand - making me flinch - and rubbed the back of my head, her fingers running through my hair. I turned around, and saw that she was crying silently. She mouthed "I love you" before turning around and closing the door.
Once again, I was stunned as I finally ascended the bus stairs. The only reason my mom wasn't keeping me home and beating my ass for trying to choke her, she was crying and telling me that she loved me. It was probably only because Marshall had left. Otherwise, I would have been in way more trouble.
Mya called out my name when I walked by her seat, but I ignored her and walked all the way to the back seat against the door of the bus, and sat down. I immediately brought up my knees to my chest and scooted back so that I was sitting horizontally on the seat with my toes poking off the edge.
I covered my head with the hood of my eccentric blue hoodie so that it entirely covered my face. I saw Brite get on and she looked for me as usual, but I was so far in the back that she didn't even see me, so she just sat in a seat across from Brite. I realized that just about no one knew I was here since Marshall and Mya didn't know if I was going to school or not since they didn't see me.
After Brite, the bus picked up Angela and Dominic as they got on the same stop, and Dom in the seat behind Brite. We rode to the last stop, Elyse and Ivan's, and they boarded on the bus. I noticed that Elyse only made eye contact exclusively with Dom and blatantly ignored Brite.
I was too distraught and depressed to make assumptions, so I trusted Ivan's words that Elyse hadn't cheated with Charlie. But she definitely knew something about it; I wasn't naïve enough not to believe that.
Once Ivan got on and sat in the seat with Brite - which was odd, since Brite practically hated him - I noticed right away that he turned to the back, as if he could sense I was sitting in the back seat.
Don't say a word about me. I sent to him telepathically, remembering that we could communicate when we were around each other.
His eyebrows shot up and his eyes fixated on to the top of my blue hoodie. What do you mean? Are you alright? He asked, sounding concerned.
No. I sent back immediately. Now just forget about me. And then, I tried something. I closed my eyes and tried blocking away everything around me, so that I felt physically alone instead of being surrounded by other people. I knew that I was creating a sort of shield around my mind, and blocking him out. But it was only for the best.
We arrived at the school, and I waited until everyone had gotten up to get off the bus. I was the last person to leave, and I made sure to keep myself hidden. I didn't want to be seen by anyone. Instead of going through the front entrance of the school, I went around the side, ignoring the Goths and kids who snuck out to smoke and went inside the back doors by the teachers' parking lot.
I took my hood off once I entered the building, since the teachers get all pissy when you wear them during. Unexpectedly, my bus had arrived earlier than usual, so I had about 30 minutes to lollygag and think about my impending death before having to go to trig.
I didn't know what to do with myself; I couldn't go talk to Brite and the rest of my friends and act like everything was okay, because it wasn't. I'm dying at the end of the day, and I can't do anything about it! And I don't know how long I can keep all these…stupid emotions bottled in before I explode.
I had walked through the doors and past the office desk into the hallway leading to my locker when I felt an explosion of pain burst through my wrist.
I let out a shriek of agony before I collapsed to the floor, gripping my burning wrist. I writhed along the floor, trying to smother my screams by burying my mouth in the arm of my sweatshirt, but it didn't stop the pain.
There was something throbbing in my wrist, poking and prodding with an intense heat that I contemplated the idea of cutting my wrist off just to end this horrible pain. I was amazed when I saw black smoke starting to rise from it, and I realized: the tattoo.
I drew my mouth slowly away from my arm and bit my lip to keep from whimpering aloud. Just as I suspected, the black part of the heart tattoo on my arm had grown, the white was completely gone now.
No…I breathed to myself in astonishment. The white…it was completely gone. Only the gray and black was left, and the black was still growing, slowly eating away at the gray part.
Is it gone forever? I started to panic. I felt my breath start to come fast as my heartbeat started to quicken out of nowhere. I gathered myself onto my knees and leaned against the big cement staircase near the front of the hallway.
I leaned my forehead against the cool cement and took in a couple of deep breaths. My eyes closed, I ignored the simmering pain embedded into my wrist and counted slowly backwards from ten. My heart slowed down a little bit, not to a regular pace, but that would have to be good enough for now.
There was no one in the hallway to see my panic attack scenario; I did a quick 360 to see. I scrambled to my feet awkwardly, tipping over and almost falling down once again as my hand scraped against the carpet once I started to run towards the bathroom.
Luckily, no one was in the bathroom either as I launched myself at the sink, lodging the counter into my stomach on accident. I stared down at my wrist. The tattoo looked fine, but the skin around it was red and angry looking; covered with welts.
"Damn it," I cursed softly. It still felt like it was burning, as if some acid or something was sprinkled onto my arm. I waved my hand in front of the movement sensor detecting thing on the sink, and the cold water sprayed out.
Hesitantly, I lowered my arm into the sink, easing my exposed wrist underneath the water. I let out a small cry of pain as the water made contact with my skin, biting the inside of my cheek to keep the whimpers inside. I moved my wrist in a circular motion, making sure that each scorched piece of skin was bare to the freezing water.
A little tear escaped out of one of my eyes, and I quickly wiped it away with my sleeve. My wrist had started oozing a little bit of blood from the outline of the tattoo, and I let out an exasperated growl as I reached for a paper towel to wipe it away.
Just as I finished the daunting tasks that this damn tattoo that I didn't ask for, I heard the sound of footsteps approaching the door.
"Son of a bitch!" I cursed under my breath quietly. I balled up the bloody paper towel and threw it into the trash can before I sprinted into a bathroom stall to hide.
I heard what sounded like a guy and a woman walk into the bathroom, since the two of them were laughing. I grew frightened as I realized what a man and woman + being alone in an empty = probably some baby-making action going on.
Oh my god, anything but this! I yelled in my head. I winced as I heard zippers unzipping and the rustling of clothes. I just about lost it when I heard one of them press against each other on the wall that I shared with them in the stall I was in.
No, not worth it. I finally decided. As quickly as I could, I burst through the door of the stall, out of the bathroom, and ran back to the uneventful side of the school where all the smokes hung out.
For a day for me to be dying, it was actually pretty boring. I mean, I started the day depressed, and I still was, but for some reason, I felt even more lonely than I ever had. Which made no sense; I could easily go to Brite and tell her that I was done being an ass and needed her epic friendship abilities, but, I don't know, I just felt like…dying.
Which was ironic, because that was exactly what I was going to do. Or at least thought so; the woman who wrote that letter hadn't been exactly clear in the note she left me.
I lay my head against my desk in algebra as Mr. Anderson blabs on about double equations, finding velocity, and other useless information that I care about. After all, it just may be last day on this earth; shouldn't I be raising some hell? But now, I'm just sitting here at my desk, obediently acting like I'm listening to Mr. Anderson and not causing a scene, unlike Lynne in front of me who was showing pictures of her boobs to all the guys around her.
Out of nowhere, as Mr. Anderson begins to say the pages of our assignment for the night, I feel a sudden vibrating, chill to the bone spasm right in the center of my head.
I accidentally let out an audible grunt of pain, and everyone whipped around to look at me like I was crazy.
"Miss Young, do you need to excused?" Mr. Anderson asked, and of course, everyone started laughing at me.
I opened my mouth to reply, but the spasm started going crazy; fizzing all over my head instead of in one central point, and I let out another cry. I pushed my head down onto the desk, trying to do anything to get rid of the pain.
I expected everyone to freak out, but everyone was strangely silent. I glanced around the room, and saw that everyone in the classroom was completely frozen. Every student, and even Mr. Anderson. Frozen in time, and there was only one person I knew that could do such a thing.
Ivan? I thought in my head, and just as I did, another wind of pain came slamming into my head, and I almost toppled over from my desk, my head tipping back so that it thudded against the floor. The sensation made my skull feel like it literally split in half.
I let out a whimper as tears began to stream down my cheeks from my eyes. The sound of my crying seemed suddenly loud and clear, as if I my hearing senses were suddenly enhanced. I could hear the thumping sound of my heart, and it was magnified in brain, each pump of blood to all my blood vessels was sending a weird throbbing sensation through my skull.
Am I dying now? Is this how I die? I winced as I thought to myself. Each word bounced inside of my brain- it even hurt just to think.
My breath was coming out heavy, my chest heaving up and down. It was actually getting pretty annoying to hear my own breath so magnified, but I couldn't even try to tune it out because of this gigantic migraine or whatever it was. I was slowly picking myself up from the ground when I saw a flash of smoke from between the aluminum blinds covering the big window on the side of the classroom.
Intrigued, I slowly trudged over to the window and unfurled the blinds, ignoring the screeching screams of them rubbing together in my head, and raised them so I could peer outside the window.
There, somehow not frozen like the rest of the kids in my class, was of all people, Charlie, wandering around in circles around the grass outside the school. Except, something looked different about him.
I realized with a gasp that his eyes were gone, replaced by deep, gouged pits of black. Around the wholes where his eyes should have been were deep purple bruises, while his lip was split and bleeding blood profusely over his chin, and his left cheek red and swollen.
He looked badly beaten up, but worst of all was the black smoke that I had seen through the slits of the blinds was pouring out of his eye sockets upwards, floating towards the sky. His mouth was ajar, hanging open, as he roamed in circle again and again, while the smoke lifted and gathered together into the sky. From the looks of it, the smoke itself was starting to gather together into a portal.
"Charlie," I whispered, horrified. "Who did this…?" I started to question, but then I had an obvious hunch:
Her. I growled in my head. It had to be the woman who kidnapped me and tattooed this heart on my wrist, she did this to Charlie.
It was like after that moment, after seeing Charlie in the state that she had put him in, everything suddenly looked clearer in my vision. Colors were suddenly bright and vivid, and the way I saw them seemed like they were damaging my eyes; but that's what it looked like, out of nowhere.
One moment, I was sitting there contemplating just what in the fuck was happening to me, and the next moment I had somehow pushed on the window and it had fallen off the ledge and crashed to the ground.
I vaulted through the window and charged over to Charlie, over towards him in a few seconds. My hands were on his shoulders as I flinched from the fog pluming out of his eye sockets, and as soon as I touched him, an electric shock ran through my fingers, jolting me upwards.
I fell onto my onto the grass beneath me, and Charlie fell down to his knees. As he made contact with the grass, his mouth closed and the fumes stopped pouring out of his eyes.
"Charlie!" I called out, reaching for him.
Even though he didn't have any eyes, I could tell that he was trying to focus on me when his head ducked down, so that it was level with mine. He reached out his hand, and before I could react, he wrapped his fingers around my neck, strangling me as he lifted me up from the ground.
I immediately panicked- all of my heightened senses were going crazy now, bells were ringing off in my head, telling me that this was wrong, but I couldn't get out of his grasp. I made a feeble attempt to claw his hands away, but he just tightened his already iron-strength grip even more.
I started to wheeze as red and black dots began to cloud my vision, I started to feel dizzy like I was going to pass out.
And of all things, I started to get angry. Just outraged, all out of nowhere. I don't know who exactly I was mad at, or what I was, but out of nowhere, I felt a strange sensation radiate off of me, and I watched in awe - struggling to breathe, still - as the physical force emitted from me, and smacked Charlie forcefully, sending him to his knees.
I dropped to the ground as his grip loosened entirely, taking in gasps of air and rubbing my neck sorely. I thought I was off the hook, but was proved wrong as Charlie robotically lifted back up to his feet and started walking back over to me.
"Charlie, no!" I yelled, and put up a hand to stop him, but he blatantly ignored me. Instinctively, I held up my hands and closed my eyes; I didn't want to see what would happen next.
Eyes still closed, I heard a cluttering sound, like something solid rolling across the grass. I peeked open my eyes, and there, lying in front of me was Charlie.
Charlie, as a dead corpse.
His bones were scattered everywhere, and just at my feet was his skull, his jaw still agape and open wide. He was dead. I killed him.
I felt something hysterical bubble up inside my chest- I had killed someone, again. I did this to my best friend's boyfriend, I killed him.
I felt the sudden urge to scream, cry, tear my hair out, or all of the above. I sunk down to my knees in the soft grass, and hear a high-pitched scream that isn't my own.
Confused, I turn to the left and see Brite standing there, horrified, screaming bloody murder, seeing her boyfriend die by the hands of her own "best friend".
A/N: Okay, so yes, first of all, I understand this chapter was total crap. Sorry about that. And yes, I understand that I took forever, literally FOREVER to update, sorry about that. But I have reasons! Okay, well, really, just one, and it's not even a very good one. Because I've been procrastinating, seriously procastinating. And I wasn't really going to tell you guys, but um, there are only two chapters left unti the very end. Two chapters, and that's the end. So, don't get too mad at me.