I know, I really need to stop with the whole fainting thing, it just can't possibly healthy for me anyway. But I just can't help it! The guy who I've been in love with about three years told me he loved me back. I'm sorry, but I think I classify that as a reason to faint. Just saying. And, can't I get some credit? Most girls give up on a guy after a month. I hung on for three freaking years; that shows courage.
And yeah, it did take him a little while to admit it, but did that even MATTER? Uh, no. 'Cause I definitely didn't give a shit. (Not about him telling me he loved me, the fact that it took so long.) But, what did this mean? Oh no, what if he just meant that he loved me like a friend? And not like the way I loved him? I don't think I could handle that. No, no, no. But well, he did say he was in love with me, not that he just loved me. So what, he didn't love me all the way or somethin', that's why he said in love? What a douche.
Wait, I think I'm unconscious, but I'm still thinking. This actually sounds weird. How do I get out of here? My own voice is echoing through my own brain. How do I stop this, I'm really annoying myself…
"No, you're actually talking out loud," I heard Dre said, and it made me wake myself up with a start.
My eyes slowly opened, and I realized that I wasn't unconscious at all. In fact, I was fully conscious. "What in the hell?" I said.
"You fainted for about 30 seconds, and then you woke up," He explained, trying not to flat out laugh at me the whole time. And he couldn't deny the fact that he wasn't trying to smile, I could tell.
I literally felt myself blush. "Well, that's not embarrassing at all," I said sarcastically.
"What are you so worried about, anyway?" He said, like it wasn't obvious why.
I gave Dre a look that said 'seriously' by raising my right eyebrow at him as far as it could. I mean, what was he, a dunce or something? "Dre, you just told me you freaking love me," I enunciated each word and ticking them off them on my fingers. "Oh, were you just playing or something?" I got nervous once I asked that question, because this was a life and death situation right here. Well, not really, but still.
"No, I don't love you, I just hang around with you all the time and tell you're pretty for nothing," He said sarcastically. "Why would I be lying to you?"
"Do you seriously need some reasons?" I will admit, my voice was starting to sound a little hysterical, so I needed to tone it down. "You hang out with Brite just as much as you do me," (I ignored the fact that I said 'do me' in that sentence) "You think other girls are pretty, too - and just for your information, you called me pretty once - and you ran away when you kissed me. Yeah, 'cause that totally screams out, 'Mel, I'm in love with you!" Was it just me, or did Dre seem hotter when he was sleep-deprived?
Instead of laughing, or just brushing it off, he seemed annoyed at me now. "Mel, I told you I couldn't tell you why, and we have to leave it at that,"
"No we can't!" I refused to know that the guy who loved me was a hiding a secret from me, that was the whole base of our relationship. "Dre, you can tell me. It's not a big deal, I won't freak out at you or anything,"
Dre raised his eyebrow at me doubtfully.
"I know I've been freaking out lately, but I'm just going through something right now. And I know you understand that. So please Dre, you can tell me. Just tell me."I pleaded him. I really needed to know why he ran away fro me like that. Or else, I'm pretty sure my brain would explain, or I would have a brain aneurysm.
He looked like he was going to say something, butt hen he just shook his head. "I can't tell you Mel. And if you're going to keep pushing at it, I have to just leave it at that." He said, and started walking out the room.
He left me there, for the second time, completely confused and puzzled. What was so secretive that he couldn't tell me, the person whom he told everything to? And why wouldn't he think that I would be able to understand? If there was one person on this earth that I would judge, it would definitely be Dre. I don't care that his father is a total bloke, or that his mom is in rehab right now. I don't care about those things. Because they define who he is.
"Andre, don't leave," I used his full name, but not because I was mad at him or anything. It just felt right for that moment, for what I was about to say. "I love you no matter what, okay? So, if you don't want to tell me, I can live with that for a while." I smiled at him, and opened my arms for him to hug me.
Using the smile that I loved so very much, he walked over to me, lifted me off the bed, and kissed me. Did it hurt a little since my back was killing me? Yes. But did it matter. Hell no.
"You know you're perfect, right?" He said as he sat me back down on the bed. He smiled at me again, like he couldn't stop.
"No one's perfect," I said, even though I was thinking in my head except you because you're really, really hot and you're nice too, and it makes me want to take you down on the bed right this second.
It was right at that moment that my asshole brother decided to walk in, and totally saw me and Dre wrapped up in our own making out world. And being my usual angry brother, he didn't take it so well.
"What the fuck are you doing?" He practically yelled, which made me leap about 10 feet in the air and making my heart monitor go off. And, to just to add, I think that thing is on the fritz because my heart doesn't always go that fast.
"Uh…," I struggled for words. "K-kissing?" My voice raised up an octave, making it sound like a question.
"I'm not talking to you," He said, his teeth gritted like that, and gave Dre a death stare. "Why are you even touching my sister?"
Was it just me, or did Marshall actually sound genuinely upset…for me? Holy crap, was he trying to protect me from the opposite gender like every big brother was supposed to do? Aww, how sweet. Marshall was trying to protect me.
"Dude, Marshall, calm down," I urged him, reluctantly letting go of Dre's hand. Yeah, part of me was kind of excited that Marshall cared enough about me to protect me, but then another part of me (the bitchy side, really) was annoyed that he would interrupt my time with Dre.
Dre looked between me and Marshall, looking just as confused as I was few minutes ago. "Er, should I be leavin'?"
"Yeah, you should," Marshall said. "Here, why don't I help you?" He made a lunge for Dre.
"Wait, stop!" I yelled as I intercepted the blow between Marshall and Dre. "Marshall, stop! Why are you being a di- douche? It's just Dre' you've know him for years," When will I ever rest again peacefully?
Marshall opened his mouth to say something, but then Mom and Mya walked in, so he didn't say anything. He lifted himself off of me and mouthed "I'm going to kill you later," And walked out the room.
"Where are you going? We still have to get your sister!" Mom called. Marshall didn't respond.
Mom rolled her eyes. "I swear, I have the mouthiest kids on the planet," She muttered under her breath.
"Uh, I should be going to. Eric said he would come back to the house today instead of stayin' at his friend's house," Dre said. "Bye, Mel."
I watched him walk away, thinking to myself: Contain yourself, Mel. Mom's gonna know something's up if you keep ogling Dre.
"Mel, I was so worried for you," Mom walked over to the bed and sat down next to me. "Why would want to worry your mother so much, huh? Sometimes, I wish I could go off on business trips instead of your father," She said. Whenever my mom was really upset or worried, her accent started to kick in. Even though Mom and her family moved to Maryland when she as 10, she still had this out of place, New Jersey accent. In fact, my dad was only person at school who didn't make fun of her because she Maryland weird.
"I didn't want to worry you," I shrugged. "It just all happened so fast…"
Mom smiled at me and ruffled my hair a little bit. "Well, you're all good now, so everything's fine. And maybe when your father gets back, we can talk about the conditions of you being grounded, huh?" She said.
I nodded. "Thanks, Mom."
I got changed back into my old clothes (because those hospital gowns have a little bit too much exposed in the back, let me tell you) and we drove home. It was strange though, because the whole way back, Mya barely even said anything. Which is weird because she's usually bouncing off the walls. And she barely even looked at me either, like she was too embarrassed to look at my face. What was up with her?
The ride home was pretty quiet though. Marshall's face was a deep red, Mom had dark circles under her eyes, Mya barely said anything, and my mind was freaking racing. What did this whole thing with Dre mean? Sure, he said he loved me (I had gotten over the fact he said that, and was starting to cool down) but he still wouldn't tell me why he ran away from me that first time. And then another part of my brain was paralyzed like, "I'm scared of being anything other than friends with Dre" and the other half was like, "Would it be weird for me to pressure Dre to try and jump my bones?"
I know, my mom wouldn't be very proud of me, trying to get a guy to have sex with me.
But I've known Dre since about the 5th grade. And I've loved him as deeply as I do know since the 6th grade. So why was I freaking out about us being together? I mean, wasn't this what I've been wanting since 6th grade? Well, that, and a velvet poster of Andre 3000. You know, the more I think about it, I think I just have a think for guys named Andre. I really needed to talk to someone about this. I couldn't just keep pondering about it, going back and forth between everything.
We reached the house and Mom pulled into the driveway. We all got out of the car, Marshall still mad at me and Mya still ignoring me. What the hell? I probably have two of the worst siblings in Maryland. One gets mad at me for nothing, and the other one - who's always loved her big sister - was now ignoring me.
"I'm going to Criss's," Marshall muttered as he got out of the car. He walked off down the street without saying another word.
"And Bonnie's picking me up for our sleepover in an hour," Mya said, and walked off to the backyard.
Mom shook her head and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "And what are you about to do, Mel?" She said tiredly.
I shrugged. "You mind if Brite comes over?" I asked, a little hesitantly. Yeah, my mom and I butt heads a lot (haha, butt-heads). But I still…love her, you know. And I just felt bad at that moment because she looked so tired and weak.
She shook her head and took out the keys to the house. "I don't care," She said dismissively as we both walked up the stairs to the house.
As we walked inside, she noticed my shocked expression. "I'm sorry, hon. I'm just very tired. I'm going to go take a nap in my bed," Mom yawned even as she said it, and walked past the staircase to the back of the house, where my parents' bedroom was.
You know, sometimes I just think I'm cursed. I pissed off my brother, silenced my sister, and tired my mother enough to almost collapse on her bed as soon as we walked in the door. And in a way, it was all my fault. Maybe I just shouldn't have told Dre that I loved him. I should have just stayed friends with him, even though it was probably kill me, and spare all this weird stuff from happening to everyone around me. Seriously.
Not to mention the whole water thing. What was that anyway? I swear, we had passed the fishing bay, I felt like I was getting submerged into water, like I was a part of it. I was apart of the lazily churning waves, and it was natural for me to be in water.
EXCEPT IT TOTALLY WASN'T!
Well, there's no reason to spaz out now. I tried to reassure myself. It was probably nothing. Just a little overactive imagination. Like that's never ever happened before.
But I just can't stop worrying! What if there's something WRONG with me? Well, there are already a bunch of things wrong with me, but I'm just gonna ignore that. I've never liked water before, so why would I like it now? I mean, is it just a coincidence that it happened the same time around the whole thing with Dre? My brain's starting to hurt…
"I'm going to go insane!" I yelled out loud. My brain was getting tormented by my own thoughts! I needed to relax, yeah, that's what I needed to do.
"You're already insane!" My mom yelled tiredly from the back of the house. "Now be quiet and let me sleep!" She ordered.
Well, she definitely sounded better.
I ignored my mom. I decided to call Brite on the phone, since I was tried of having this tiring, heated debate in my brain. Slipping off my favorite blue, battered up hi-tops that I'd had for about five or six years (my feet grew up to sevens in the fifth grade and then stopped growing completely) I opened the door to my basement room and walked down the stairs. I slid my hands over the glossy wood across the banisters, taking my steps easily down the stairs. I wasn't trying to be careful or anything, even though Bojangles always lay on the steps and tripped people. Sometimes, I think that fat-ass cat was mean to others on purpose.
I flicked on the lights at the end of the staircase. I looked around, even checking behind the stacks of old newspapers (why in the hell were there so many newspapers?) to see if Marshall was hiding in the shadows again. After doing a little snooping, I was sure that Marshall wasn't there.
And what about this whole deal? I had to search my own freaking bedroom. I swear, my family is just dysfunctional.
I picked up my cell phone that I had left lying on the coffee table next to my little T.V. After I punched in the speed dial three button, the phone started ringing to Brite's.
Come on, be home. I pleaded silently to Brite. I know she has a life outside of just our friendship, but I needed her right now. I swear, if Charlie is keeping her from the phone, I'm gonna bust a cap in his ass! I said a little hysterical in my head. My sudden violent outbursts like this one sometimes make me think if I inherited the anger management issues that Marshall has.
"You rang, my liege?" Brite answered, like she always did when I called. And whenever she called me, I had to answer saying 'Sire, you called?' It's just some weird thing we made up when we were freshman.
God, I was so thankful to hear her voice. "Brite, do you think you come over? Like right now?"
I guessed that Brite could hear the deep urgency in my voice because she said, "Is five minutes soon enough?"
"Yes please," I whispered.
Brite said she would be over as soon as she could, and then we hung up the phone. After that, I just felt so exhausted. Like, really exhausted. I collapsed onto my bed, staring straight up at my somewhat-dust ceiling, and closed my suddenly heavy-lidded eyes.
Why was I so tired? It just seemed so sudden, this exhaustion wave that was creeping over me. Ah, my back was aching too. I felt like I wasn't able to move any of my limbs, after I buckled onto the bed, but I felt myself starting to roll off completely. My shoulder banged against the floor as I fell, but I barely even felt it. I tried to keep my eyelids pried open - I tried my hardest - but they slowly floated closed, and I felt my body relax as it fell into what seemed like a deeply needed sleep.
But wait a second. What was that creeping up into my ears? What the hell? I began to wake up again, and a fear surged through me.
There was water underneath me.
The basement was flooding.
I was drowning.
I WAS DROWNING!
Where was the water coming up from so fast? One minute, I had been sleeping peacefully, and the next, the basement was flooding. How did this happen?
Despite the fact I knew that I was drowning, and I needed to tell Mom the basement was flooding - oh my gosh, what if it was a flash flood, and Mya was out there all alone??! - and I was drowning, I still couldn't move. My limbs were still heavy and useless; I just plainly couldn't move.
Shit. The water was starting to creep up towards my nose, rising above my face. I was really drowning now, and I couldn't do anything about it. How ironic. I was going to die from my "dis-harmful" hydrophobia. Yeah, dis-harmful my ASS.
I felt myself start to panic. I tried to breathe, but I accidentally sucked in water through my nose, making myself choke on it. It was then that my eyelids finally started to work, and they flashed open in alarm. Like an idiot, I was shocked by what I saw, which made me draw in more water that filled my lungs.
The thing that shocked me was that I wasn't in my bedroom/basement anymore.
I was in the ocean.