This is for my best friend in the whole entire world Alphonso Sealy. You never stop believing in me I will always love you. Thank you Katy Perry for giving me my vision and making Magnetizing come alive
A different world
Coming to this world as a baby, my memories from that time are long gone. I do remember me reaching out and holding a pale white finger gently, smiling. That is the only memory that has stayed with me all these years. I don't remember a face or who it was; all I remember is that finger along with autumn leaves flying all around.
Who was that person? I may never know and I'm fine with that. Some things are better not knowing.
But just because I'm explaining these feelings to you, doesn't mean this story has a happy ever after… I do not know how it will turn out.
When you're told something at a young age, your mind becomes so fragile. I was told many things at a young age and I'll admit I didn't understand these things. I was just a child after all. Love is taken for gratitude these days.
Sometimes I wonder…
Is it the gravitational pull of this planet that hangs like an anchor on my heart or is it the sickening feeling of being around these aliens, who constantly feed off each other and lack respect for life including their own?
I remember listening to a singer named Michael Jackson as he sang a song for the Earth.
Do these aliens listen to that song anymore? Do they ever listen to those that try to help them see their ways? I suppose not.
I remember when I was in California, watching the moon on a cliff in a dark red dress with dark wings. It was called a fallen angel costume for Halloween. I don't usually wear jeans and pants. My mother refuses to allow me to grow accustomed in wearing such things. I usually substitute them with skirts and dresses.
Sometimes, I feel like I am looking at my planet when I look at the moon. There is so much magic in the world but everyone is too blind to see.
It is funny how being on earth changes you.
I remember one time when my father took me to Lebanon. We went to a festival and there were these nice aliens giving out free things like clothes and food. They had people who greeted and prayed for others. I thought that was so sweet. I met a lot of nice people. I did not know there were still nice people on this planet. And yet, looking back on it now, I wish I had not come to earth, I see more bad than good.
Sometimes you are forced to make choices and those choices are never easy. I spent my whole life knowing I didn't have a choice in anything. And I suppose I was ok with that and accepted it. Even though I know why I am here I still don't understand my purpose . . . my destiny . . . why I was born and who I was born to be with.
I was in my room unpacking the rest of my stuff. It was not late yet but I was in my pink night gown. I look at all my pictures on the walls, dresser, and nightstand. Pictures of my mother, father, and I. We look happy but the problem with pictures is they only capture a moment. They either serve as good or painful memories.
Just then my father comes to my room.
"Hi Angel." He said, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
I just continue unpacking. He grabs my hand.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
"Seyai, do not lie to me."
"I am not lying, I am just tired."
"You are never tired. When the moon is up, you are up."
"Dad please, you worry too much."
"You are right. You know I love you?"
"And I love you."
"Your mother and I are going out for a while, we will be back around 4 in the morning."
"Where are you guys going?"
"I am going to take your mother to a lovely restaurant. If you want to come along to just get out of the house and see the rest of the town then you can."
"No I saw the looks mother has been giving me, I don't think she likes me very much right now."
"Your mother is fine and she loves you stop thinking she hates you."
"Dad you've seen the way she looks at me and how me and her cannot even talk anymore. I am not stupid. You taught me how to read people and I have been reading her ever since we moved here." I then sat on my bed and look at him.
"Your mother is just tired."
"Tired of me."
"Seyai I am just taking your mother out so me and her can talk and give her a sense of peace."
I put a smile on my face. "Then why won't you guys be back until four in the morning?" I ask knowing why.
"Take that smirk off of your face. I swear sometimes I feel you grow up too fast." He said as he gave me a kiss on my forehead.
"Dad what if-"
"Don't! It won't happen."
"What if it does?"
"Then they are other alternatives. Seyai remember you have to have faith. I know it is hard but I assure you it will happen. Remember that nobody believes in you more than me."
"Don't stay up late you have school tomorrow."
My dad shut my door and I go back to unpacking. By the time I unpack the moon was out. I open my windows so that the light from the moon would come in my room more. Then I turn on the TV to see Rodgers's & Hammerstein Cinderella on the Disney channel. I smiled to myself this was my favorite movie when I was child. I loved the costumes, music and characters. I use to make my dad stay up with me all night watching it. My mother was not fond of television. If she had it her way there would be no TV in the house but my dad convinces her because otherwise I would be bored to death. I sat on my bed as I watch it but I began to feel this weird aroma coming over me. I didn't know what it was.