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Dragons And Elves

Novel By: paulenns
Fantasy


been working on it for a while first 2 chapters enjoy View table of contents...

Chapters:

1

Submitted: Mar 13, 2008    Reads: 102    Comments: 11    Likes: 1   


 

There I sat hiding in the bushes hoping the three Drelven boys from my village would lose interest in me. As always they thought it was funny to pick on the boy who could not do any magic or speak, they thought it was a riot. Just then my cousin Karaline who was called Kara for short came into the clearing. Without looking around she knew what the boys were up to. As Kara threw them into the air with a couple muttered words, she then she called out "it’s ok to come out now Aaden, they’re going to get in trouble by the village leaders any ways I’ve got them dangling in the air by their feet. I came out of the tree where I had hidden. " Can’t you keep out of trouble for five minutes Aaden, Kara asked?" Then I shrugged my shoulders as if to say " You think I wanted this, you think I like being a misfit?" But she knew what I was thinking because she just said, "I know, I know and don’t give me that look Aaden". By then I was scowling so horribly that it would give a Karnash a run for its money. Kara then said in a playful voice, at least you get to laugh at Jacob, Chris and Mike as she said that she pointed at the three that were dangling upside down by their feet. I looked up and what I saw was so funny even I couldn’t help but give a quick smirk but Kara was laughing so hard she was crying. Kara then said, "let’s go home " so we trudged off with Jacob, Chris and Mike floating in the air behind us.

Maybe I should tell you a little about myself, my family, and my ancestors. My name is Aaden Drakk; I am a Drelf that is basically an elf with dragonish qualities. The earliest Drelves were way more powerful then we are to day it is because we have lost most of our magic to becoming careless in our teachings. We cannot move mountains without the help of all the villages of the Drelven nation. All but a few of us can no longer speak with the dragons. My family is my aunt and cousin were not the richest Drelves in the village but we manage to get along by ourselves. My cousin Karaline otherwise known as Kara is a simple Drelf that loves to show off her powerful magic and her knowledge of the Clithegrome language, which is the language we use to create magic. Her full name is Karaline Ganthor Drakk. My auntie loves to talk even if there is no one listening. But she is a sweet Drelf of, well let’s just say her age is a sore spot for her and she is also a very good cook. My auntie’s full name is Jasmine Fantor Drakk. Me I’m the misfit, I have no ordinary Drelf skills, I can’t create any magic I’m very smart and strong but I can’t produce magic. I’m the only Drelf in history t not able to speak, no matter how hard I try to speak I can’t get one word out. I’m the insignificant one I’m only good for brute work and mental problems but when it comes to magic I well stink. I live with my aunt and cousin because my mother died in a tragic accident trying to complete a before birth charm that is supposed to make your baby healthy but she instead doom her self to death but I survived. My dad no body knows who he was if he’s still alive or if he’s dead all I know was he was a great man loved by every body.

When we got to our village Kara went over to one of the village adults and told her what had happened. The village woman’s name was Silina RazorTooth, When Jessica heard what had happened she told Kara "don’t worry the boys will be punished for what they have done they will get time in the training field where they will deal with a very harsh work"

 

. Then the boys started to say something but were soon cut off by Jessica she said " be quite or it’ll be more time in the training field". Just then I saw something moving out in the sky but disregarded it as being out in the sun for too long. Kara soon suggested that I go home and get some rest after all we had the big ceremony tonight. When I got home my auntie greeted me as usual and asked if I wanted any Blue Rabbit stew, but I declined writing down I wasn’t hungry and I had to save my appetite for the feast. So I went up stairs and set out my dragon scale armor of Galain Drakk, its name was Kitoru. It had many enchantments that made it impervious to dragon fire or any kinds of negative enchantments. It was a Steele Blue color with three gems set in it. The Gem, which every Drelf family was given the Ginoriku, was a Crimson color, it was set in the chest of Kitoru. The other two gems were given to our family for a great deed one of my ancestors they were both sky blue. They were set in the shoulders of Kitoru. Next I set out my dragon hide boots of seven leagues, they had spikes on the bottom of them to help with icy climate. They helped you walk great distances in minutes and lastly I pulled out my dragon helm of Dralta Drakk who was might I add one is of my famous ancestors. They had dragon horns set in the top of the helmet. I was all set for the ceremony tonight then I went to bed.

 

 

I woke to somebody shaking me awake it was my auntie, she said "wake up, wake up Aaden it’s almost time for the adult hood ceremony. I got up quickly, looked around and got into my armor, boots, and helmet and ran quickly towards the door. Then I ran out side and ran towards the southern woods that’s where the ceremony would take place, then I saw Kara running towards the trees looked as if she was running late too. She slowed down to a brisk walk, I caught up to her she looked at my appraisingly and said, " wow those are the seven league boots". When we finally got to the clearing we separated to go to our groups boys on the right, girls on the left. We waited for five minutes, then the High council came out and with them came a huge golden chest used for only this purpose the adult hood ceremony. We all gasped in awe, the Guardian Dragon and his companion said aloud together in voices that were synchronized " We shall begin in a short while people". Half an hour later they started calling names to come up and select an egg, if that egg the boy/girl chose did not hatch on contact then they would choose another till they ran out of eggs to choose from. I waited patiently for my name to come up they first called all the girls they said their name then their age Kara got called was called they said Karaline Drakk, 1280 years of age. We age 1 year per every 80 years of human years. Then the girls were done they called they boys up, I was fifth to be called Aaden Drakk, 1320 years of age. I went up and touched threes different eggs but not one hatched. Then as I started to get depressed I brushed up against two different eggs as I was looking for a fourth egg to touch and both hatched in that very instant. The high council gasped this was not usual for more then one egg to hatch for one person the last person who did manage to hatch more then one egg was of very noble birth and he became the most powerful Drelf warrior alive. But he was long gone and yet here I was following in his footsteps. I was really surprised I mean me a lowly Drelf like me hatching two dragons eggs that was a bit too much. Then the council overcame their shock and said "we will hold a council in one days time, at midday". My cousin Kara Sauntered over and said " how did you do that I mean your not of royal blood". I just shrugged my shoulders I mean even I was shocked I did that. My aunt came running over and asked all sorts of questions like " how did you do it" or " are you tired from hatching them" she even asked the most stupid question of all "did you mean to do it"? I just ignored her and every one else, I wasn’t about to try and write down what I was feeling or what I was experiencing it was just too much. As we walked home the boys Mike, Chris and Jacob all gave me angry glares and fearful glances. I just let them think that I was able to do magic now but I actually couldn’t do anything, but I let them be scared.

CHAPTER TWO

 

 

 

When I woke up the next morning I was blessed by forgetting what happened the previous night but it all came back to me in a sudden rush. Boy when it hit I felt like staying in bed all day, but I knew I had to go to the council meeting. I mean it was after all called because of me. Its like going to a feast but there is no food at all, totally pointless huh? So I got up, it was just before sunrise. It was beautiful, the golds, reds, pinks, blues and greens of the sun were washed with the wondrous spectacle of morning. I could hardly look at it. Bu it was so superb I was spell bound. I was like a cobra caught up in a hypnotizing melody. After I enjoyed the sunrise I walked over to my dresser and got dressed. What I was wearing was a simple red shirt with blue shorts to go with it. I flung open my bedroom door and felt that nothing could dampen my spirits. My auntie and Kara were still asleep. So I thought I’d make some breakfast. I made Roc eggs and fried Bikka roots. After I made the breakfast I went and woke Kara up she wasn’t particularly a morning person but she still loved her Bikka roots. She got up and got dressed then she went and ate, well more like wolfed her meal down. But I didn’t care I was used to her eating fast I had to eat fast on occasions of utmost haste. Then we both put on padding and went out in the training fields to spar. As usual I beat Kara four out of five times but by the time we were done the sweat was just pouring off us we didn’t care who eat who. We both made a silent agreement to go to separate streams to bathe. So we went our separate ways. I went to Sarus River and Kara went to the Sirk River the other river flowing through the village. After our baths we met up at the Bloodscore Tree our tree of history and teachings of the Clithegrome language are engraved upon it. We then sat down and meditated, our mentor Losinder Grimtooth told us if you meditate enough you may just be able to speak with the dragons like our ancestors did. You will also be able to close your mind to unwanted intruders.

CHAPTER One

Aaden Drakk’s Tale


1

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Comments:

me!
(not registered user)

why do they keep saying they didnt feel like writing it down??? can they not talk???

Posted: Mar 13, 2008

Highschool Author
(not registered user)

Its a ok theres some mistakes. As a writter i belive it can use some work. I have written 3 books that are in my school libary so, I know what i'm talking about. Take my advise to heart and work on it.

Posted: Mar 13, 2008

JayMann
(not registered user)

wow.... i thought it was really good... it could use some editing but i like the story line

Posted: Mar 13, 2008

Natascha
(not registered user)

Its pretty good.
I agree it needs some work.
But goodd job.

Posted: Mar 13, 2008

danielle
(not registered user)

very cool

Posted: Mar 13, 2008

..katie?
(not registered user)

ums...i liked it...it was cool!

Posted: Mar 13, 2008

Kelt <3
(not registered user)

You have a really good story set up here. There are a few things in particular I would work on though. For example, use simple sentences, but still be descriptive. I've noticed that you try to cram in one too many words for a descriptive sentence. Also, try reading your sentence out loud to hear how it sounds. Make sure it makes sense.

TAKE TIME TO EXPLAIN!!! All through the beginning of the character introducing himself and the adulthood ceremony, I felt rushed reading it. In my opinion it lacked some description and explanation. I saw the picture of the scene forming in my mind, but it was blurred. I think that if the main character put more of their feelings into the context, it would help us understand him better. Help the reader to form a distinct picture of the scene in their mind before continuing on with the story.

Other than a few grammatical errors, I think this story could be something great. I'm hooked and can't wait to read the rest. Too bad it doesn't exist yet!!! Keep writing. It'll get easier and not to mention better as you go along.


Posted: Mar 13, 2008

i do love dragons and i wanna hear more.

Posted: Mar 14, 2008

Shows promise I think.
Kelt 3 are you still around? I would love someone to comment on a first chapter of my first novel and tell me if it's something they would want to keep reading????

Posted: Mar 14, 2008

It was pretty good. I little advice dialog (people talking is written a bit diffrent. Every time some body starts to speak put a " before and after the words such as. Derrick said, "Its time to go to the football game." This lets people know somebody speaking and everytime a new person starts to speak start a new paragraph. like...

Crystal ran down the hall screaming, "Aliens are here, aliens are here!"
John who slept in the hall right next to crystal yelled back."What the hell are you talking about? Crystal," but other then that its pretty good so far, i like the dragon eggs. ;0

Posted: Mar 14, 2008

megz
(not registered user)

Thats really awesome! ^-^ Only advice is to edit it a bit more.. theres some grammar errors that are kind of annoying but other than that.. amazing! XD

Posted: Mar 14, 2008



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