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adonis

Novel By: Qcontinu
Fantasy


Two twins, destined to save the world of evil,. But there is a force out there to stop it, and to ensure the world stays as it is. Now Adonis, destined to save the world must first face his inner demons and save his sister from the Corrupt Coronian Empire, meanwhile Jolene his sister has been deceived and turned to the dark side. All these and facing a mighty half demon at the same time, how will the twins unite and save the world? View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Submitted: Aug 11, 2007    Reads: 81    Comments: 3    Likes: 0   


 

Encounter With The Past
18 years later…
The bright glaring sunrays of the midday sun gleamed off Adonis’ tanned torso. Beads of sweat trickled off his face as he hacked the ground with his hoe, preparing the hard soil for the planting of the corn. The farm was all Adonis knew, his entire life he had prepared and cultivated the crops, milked the cows, fed the animals and all the menial tasks associated with the life of a laborer on a farm.

 

Despite spending his whole life on the farm he felt as though he was called to do something else. The reason for this was partially because he was so different from his parents. Where Adonis was optimistic, always seeing the silver lining in the clouds, his parents were pessimists. Even his physical appearance bore no resemblance to his parents.

They had rough peasant-traits such as curly brown hair and dull brown eyes. Adonis on the other hand had fair, some might say, royal qualities such shoulder length silver hair that accentuated his pure ice blue eyes. The thought sometime crossed his mind that maybe they were not his parents; only to be put aside as nothing but a childish concept, adoptions were simply unheard of in small towns.

Suddenly his father yelled, “ Get your stinkin’ butt over here now!” He placed the hoe on the ground, pulling a muscle shirt over his sweaty body. At the house his father waited, his foot tapping the hard dirt sending small clouds floating up in the air.

From the back he heard his mother yell “ don’t ya be screaming at Adonis that way George, he’s our son!”

He turned and yelled inside the house “ shut yer trap Monica! I talk to my son any manner seems best to me! ” There was a sound of a metal pot flying against a wall.

 

Jolene walked out of the house and stood beside her father. Although they were siblings, the two couldn’t look any different. Jolene had fiery red hair that flowed down to her back and eyes as brown and rich as the earth he had overturned. “ You and yer sister ar’ going to the market, we getting an ox to replace the ox and horse killed by those bloody wolves and get some food, water and most importantly, get me some ale”.

Without waiting for a response he turned and went into the house, slamming the door shut behind him. A scream could be heard as the father yelled,“ Monica, I told you never to talk to me like that again!”

 

Adonis rolled his eyes, “ Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

Jolene glared at him and replied, “ he is drunk, and he is going to beat mother. And all you do is joke about it, you idiot!”

Adonis wondered what he had done to deserve such a family, he grabbed the wagon by the front and they proceeded to walk toward the village.

The village of Leando was not very crowded. A few small stalls were open here and there; and a few people could be seen walking about. Adonis grinned at his luck when suddenly he saw the notorious Turtle Gang picking on an elderly shop owner.

He recognized the leader although he did not know his name, but he had given the leader the nickname Bane because of the destruction he caused in the community.

He told his sister to watch the wagon and he approached Bane, “ Can’t win fights in your usual brawls anymore, so you picking fights with seniors? Just when I thought you couldn’t get any lower Bane. Why don’t I toss you in the wagon, you can live with the pigs.”

 

Bane turned to Adonis and replied, “ What ya saying Silver boy. Ya think ya can beat me, do ya?” Adonis’ response was swift and short but straight to the point, he punched him square in the jaw, sending him sprawling to the ground. Bane growled and ordered to his thugs, “ get the little bugger!”

Just then four thugs went at him. Adonis managed to punch one down and kick the other but the two remaining grabbed him by the arms. Bane walked up to him and punched him square in the jaw, returning the favor. Adonis grimaced in pain, as Bane savored the moment he heard a whistle beside him, when he turned to look he saw Jolene and she smile.

 

He smiled back; she was a pretty girl after all. He said “ so Jolene, how about we leave this brother of yours behind with my thugs and we have some time alone”

She smiled and punched him hard in the nose; he fell to the ground bleeding from a broken nose. The two thugs who weren’t holding Adonis went after her, Jolene turned kicking one hard between the legs with all her strength. As he fell to his knees in excruciating pain she ducked under the punch from the second thug, punching him in the nose breaking it as well.

Adonis took advantage of the distraction and elbowed his captors; he hit one in the gut and elbowed the other using all his might, cracking his ribs. They doubled over in pain. He then stood triumphantly beside his sister.

The defeated rose painfully to their feet and Bane smiled painfully, blood smeared his face and oozed from his mouth. As he wiped the blood from his face, shaking blood from his hand Adonis and Jolene turned back with confused looks on their faces to see twenty thugs approaching. The thugs were so numerous they filled the whole town square. They had come for their revenge, surrounding the duo until they heard a chilling voice from behind them. “ You are cowards, the Empire despises cowards.”

Bane turned around, this was the last straw. He walked up to the seven-foot tall stranger. He wore full armor that even covered his face and he had a long sword sheathed in his belt. Despite the attributes that would have ordinarily scared any man, when Bane was in one of his rages nothing scared him.

He scowled “ This is my place to terrorize, I ain’t scared of ya or anyone else!” charging the stranger to punch him. The stranger let it hit him, only to come with what felt like rock. Bane’s arm recoiled, throbbing, the stranger grabbed Bane and threw him into a shop. The window shattered upon impact, he landed on the counter. As money from the cash drawer fell Bane was on his hands and knees gathering it.

All the thugs charged the stranger, forgetting the duo. The stranger extended his hands and mumbled a demonic curse. Suddenly all the thugs lifted into the air, each reached for their throat, grasping for air. All their veins started to pop, blood gushed forth from each one until they imploded upon themselves.

The corpses remained in the air, floating like scarecrows.

Bane walked out of the shop his pockets loaded, a smug look on his face. He heard his foot hit a puddle. Looking down Bane’s eyes widened with terror the blood drained from his face. He saw the blood pooling from his massacred thugs everywhere, where solid ground had once been. Looking up he seen their corpses floating in the air, shaking in fear he ran into the alley, tripping and dropping all the money.

The stranger looked around satisfied, looking at Jolene he asked in a chilling voice “ You look very familiar to me, have we met in another place and time?”

 

Although she was scared of him and distracted by the floating corpses she said as politely as she could “ You must be mistaking me with someone else. However thank you for getting rid of those thugs, they were a nuisance to the town”

The stranger bowed in respect and walked away solemnly, pausing briefly at an apple stand to grab an apple. He mumbled something and all the corpses fell to the ground with a loud thud and the noise of cracking bones.

Once he was gone Adonis said “ Now I don’t know what worse, getting beat up by the Turtle Gang or owing a favor to a cold blooded killer?”

Jolene without turning replied “ Lets not stick around to find out.”

 They found the owner of the shop that Bane had knocked over, cowering behind his stall. “ Are you all right Timothy?” asked Jolene in a worried tone.

Timothy nodded and replied in a fragile tone “ we’ve been ridded of the Turtle Gang, but I do not trust that man who killed them” They bent down and lifted the stall up. Placing the food back he continued, “ I’d be careful if I were you Jolene, he said he knew you. He might try to pay you a visit”

Having placed everything Adonis replied, “ thanks for the warning Timothy, but we’ll be fine. Just gotta finish the shopping and we’ll be done with this mess.”

 Finishing all the errands they left for home, walking slowly upon the path Jolene said, “ I hope father didn’t beat her too much, he can get very violent”

Adonis who was strained by the heavy load replied, “ I suppose he did, but she knew she was marrying a drunk and knew the dangers. I’m more worried about this new killer in town”

 Jolene stood in front of him, astounded in anger “ you speak of our mother as though she is nothing but trash. The woman who labored to give birth to you fed you and burped you and took care of you your entire life.”

She walked furiously ahead of him he caught up with her half an hour later. Their mother had two black eyes and was walking with a limp, Adonis felt guilty and wanted to stand for his mother. But last time he had done so had resulted in him being forced to work with a fractured leg, it healed in time but those were the most painful weeks of his life.

 
The assassin recognized that boy who had ensued the fight but he had not been certain at first. However once he saw the girl, he knew exactly who she was and in turn confirmed his suspicions of the boy’s identity, she looked exactly like her mother. He teleported to an abandoned path, he said in a demonic voice, “ Toran Pal Tonaros”.

 

The earth began to shake violently around him, cracks appearing all over the ground, steam pouring forth like the mouth of a volcano. The air smelled of brimstone, the temperature rose to a level dangerous to any mortal. Suddenly a dark beam shot out of the ground, producing a bottomless pit. The assassin walked toward it and dived head first into the cavern of souls.

As he fell quickly, the hole closed in behind him, the steam re-entering the cracks and the ground returned to its normal state. He grabbed his sword and stabbed it into the wall, jerking violently against the wall, rubble hitting his face, his descent slowed gradually as he used all his strength to stay against the wall. His sword slid through the rock wall like putting a hot knife through butter and he landed hard upon the entrance of the base.

 

The camp appeared to be normal, tents set in an orderly manner. The assassin walked to the gate where two soldiers blocked his way, on of the soldiers grimaced at his sight and said, “ Follow me.” He led him to Lord Krale’s tent and stood guard as the assassin entered.

The interior of the tent was quite voluminous; furs of multiple unknown creatures covered the ground. In the middle stood a long table made of pure gold. On the walls hung swords, trophies and armored suits from the Lord’s many victories. There was a large throne composed of pure diamond, where Lord Krale sat at that moment.

He wore a long black cloak but all that could be seen of his face were glowering red eyes. The rest of his body was darkness. He said in a sinister voice that filled the whole tent with a death-like chill, “ I assume you would not intrude upon my solidarity unless you had important news. Is this correct Ares?”

Ares the assassin nodded “ Yes Lord Krale, I have at last found Adonis and his sister”

 

“Very well done my young apprentice. Spy on him, find out where he lives, and kill him” Ares nodded, then Lord Krale demanded “ Remove your face and torso armor.”

Ares did not like to part with his armor, but obeyed the order and proceeded to do so. His corpse pale face and torso were covered with scars.

One very long scar started from the top of his left eye and descended to the bottom of the left part of his face. Despite the scarring, he was remarkably muscular. His sharp teeth gleamed in the light and long sharp claws sprouted from his fingers, Lord Krale then said, “ Why do you cover your scars? They convey your true nature so well you shall remain this way. In turn I shall enhance your powers.”

He murmured a word and red started to glow throughout Ares’ scars, bringing him to his knees in excruciating pain. The pain dropped to a low throbbing. Ares looked down at his scars and they glowed red with power. Krale explained what he had done, “ Your powers are enhanced tenfold, for I fear you may meet your brother yet again and I must be certain you rise victorious in a possible battle. Also, you now have the ability of metamorphosis but your scars shall remain with each form you take. Use your new power well.”

Lord Krale signaled Ares to leave. Ares bowed on one knee and departed from the tent. The guards stepped back in fear at the sight of his demonic appearance. Ares snarled at them showing off his sharp teeth and transformed into a large black dragon. Large black scales that reflected the torchlights of the camp, his wings opened an entire 10 feet long.

The guards’ fear increased at the sight of the gigantic scarred black dragon, Ares growled furiously, sending flames into the air. He flew away causing a slight tremor on his departure, leaving the guards in the dust.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


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Comments:

Very good plot you have going on here, but you're like me, you go too fast. I'm going to print this out and read it again. If I could get your e-mail address I can tell you more of what I think on it.

~DarkFairy~

Posted: Aug 19, 2007

Author Comment:

Thank you once more, the thing is in my mind everything is fast-paced. I appreciate you actually trying to evaluate my novel, my e-mail is startrekmaniac@hotmail.com. Your advise would be very appreciated. Aloha.

I see the excellence continues. Very good action sequences. I find that most people's main problem in writing is an inability to properly convey action. *Bows* Keep up the good work!

Posted: Aug 20, 2007

Author Comment:

Again I highly appreciate your good comments. If you would not mind reading the other chapters, it appears as though people finsih reading after two chapters and I am highly curious as to the quality of the following chapters.

very good, i don't see why you dont have more fans

5 stars

Posted: Sep 14, 2007

Author Comment:

Thank you very much for that good comment, and I do not concern myself with my ratings or how many fans I have, as long as I can write and read, I am happy.



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