Chapter One: Spadecialality
People say I'm a freekin' nut case. ButI'm just SPADECIAL!
Yeah, that's right, I said spadecial. . .
Kay'so I was, like,hanging out with the my best friend, the All Evil Mistress of the Night (A.K.A. my best friend who happens to be a vampire, Maddy).
Maddy was staring at me as I skipped down the dusty sidewalk. I looked over at her.
"Watcha staring at?" I asked light and cheerfully.
She sulked at me. "I'm staring at you. You look like a freeking retard."
I stopped skipping, put my hands on my hips, and stared at her. "I believe the term is 'mentally ill'."
Maddy rolled her eyes. "Fine then. You're acting mentally ill."
I clasped my hands together with joy. "YAY! I'm SPED!"
I stared skipping again, causing my rainbow zebra stiped tutu to fluff up when each foot hit the ground. I twirled and jumped. My tres beau convers all star high tops lands gracefully on the ground.
"HI-HO, HI-HO, IT'S OFF TO WORK I GO!" I sang. I was off to McDonalds where I worked part-time. Maddy went there and sat in the booth in the way back just to annoy the manager when he said she couldn't sit unless she ordered somthing. Of course she always ended up staying. When he told her to "Get the F*** up and go order somthing or leave!" she gave him the evil eye and worked her vamp magic on him.
"Hey, Mad." I said cheerily.
"Do you think you can do some freeky mind thing on my boss to make him give me a raise?"
She turned to look at me. "No." she answered flatly.
"AW! Why not?" I whined.
"Because It's not right."
"I'M NOT RIGHT! But does that matter? NOOO!"
Maddy stared at me like I was a senile old lady who was shouting that there was a cat on fire in her pants, and if somebody did not get the cat out right away she would drop dead on the spot and insist to be burried with all her money, therefore insuring no money to the younger generations of her family.
"Why are we friends again?" she asked.
"Because my doctor says I need a 'stable companion to guide me through life'."
I smiled huge at her and continued skipping.
See? I'm not insane.
I'm just spadecial.