Chapter 9: Decisions, Decisions

Dante went out that night to hunt and made me stay home for the time being.

I paced back and forth all night throughout the whole house, finding things I’d never seen, staring at things that I never noticed how beautiful they were.

At the side of the living room sat a fireplace. It looked as though it hadn’t been used in quite awhile. It was outlined in wood and stone, making small patterns I hadn’t noticed until I looked up close.

A large blue vase sat on top of the fireplace. It was covered in white and purple details of flowers. It took my breath away and on either side of it sat small white candles.

I was very observant tonight, noticing the small things and taking in all of my surroundings. There were rooms in the house I was afraid to walk in because honestly, I was a little afraid of what I would find. I would wait for Dante to return to ask what was inside of them.

Pacing back and forth, I think of my life now and how much it will change when I become one of them. I want to, I really do, but it’s hard for me to think right now.

I’m kind of glad Dante left tonight, it gives me time to think, I said to myself.

I sat on the loveseat again, reading Vincent’s letter over and over again, trying to think of my decision. I’d like to have my mind made by the time Dante comes home, but I don’t think that’ll happen.

I certainly don’t want to die a human, no way. And I do not want to die with Dante watching.

I want to spend eternity with him. I don’t know how he’s convinced me of this but I know that I do. I want to be with him, I want to have a future with him, and I want to spend the rest of forever with him. There’s nothing else to it, that’s it. And if that means I have to basically be reborn, I’ll take it.

It’s a small price to pay for an eternity with the one I love the most. I have no one left anyway, it’s just Dante and I now.

Everything happens for a reason, I keep telling myself. If I wasn’t supposed to be with Dante, he wouldn’t have come to save me, none of this would have happened in the first place.

It was all so confusing to me. The way it had all happened, the way it was turning out to be, just…everything.

I wonder if I’m the only one left, I wonder if anything will ever be the same again, if I’ll ever feel the same again. I highly doubt it, but with Dante at my side, my hopes were growing at a steady pace.

My mind began to develop very high hopes now. A large smile grew on my face as I thought of the dreadful things in my life being nothing more but the past. I need to let the past go and live in the now and think of the future. I mean, this could be a very good experience, maybe I’ll learn more things, maybe I’ll feel more things.

But before I make my decision, I must know more about the mechanics. See, I’m the type of girl that must know all of the details, I must know exactly what will happen to me, exactly what I will be changed into.

I mean, yes, I’d heard Dante’s story; I’d heard what had happened when he was changed. But not everyone was like him, especially me.

Would I disappear in the sun, would I be more beautiful, would my eyes turn green like his? I had so many questions and I had to ask them when Dante returned.

I waited all night it seemed. I walked to the kitchen, sat at the table, and stared at the antique clock for what seemed like hours.

When will he be back? I’m getting kind of worried, I thought to myself.

Please, please don’t let Vincent come tonight. I’m not ready. Please don’t let him attack Dante. All of this is my fault and if I have to, I’ll take all of the fall for it, I closed my eyes now, locking my fingers together and looking up at the ceiling. No, I didn’t believe in God anymore, but I do believe that if I hope hard enough, good things may happen. At least, I would like to believe that.

I began pacing again. 12:01 a.m. The clock was taunting me. The sound of the ticking rang in my ears as though a freight train just drove right past me. I was beginning to go insane.

I began sweating and shaking. Panic attack. I had those often, I was use to them by now, and I knew how to control myself. But this time was different.

I felt myself becoming dizzy. I sat down in the kitchen chair again, placing my head on the table on top of my numb arms. My head was swimming with thoughts of what could possibly be happening right now.

I rose my head up now, trying to look through the fog and static that covered my eyesight. The clock grew louder and louder now, echoing in my ears, making me plug them as best as I could with my fingers.

My breathing became faster. I began to gasp for air now, feeling like my lungs were shriveling up.

Why is this…was all I could say before a blacked out. The colors in my eyes turned black and all went to the middle of my sight, leaving me blind and shaking on the ground.

I thought I was dreaming. I looked down and saw myself wearing a wedding dress. Bright, colorful daisies made the bouquet I held in my white hands. I looked ahead now, seeing rows of chairs…but no one in them. I was in a cloud of white, everything looked foggy, yet clear. We weren’t in a church but the seats were set up as though we were.

Dante stood at the end of the aisle, the biggest smile on his face I’d ever seen. A priest stood behind him, smiling that same smile. I must have looked beautiful. I know I felt beautiful.

Sadness made its way into my mind now, making me fall to my knees on my wedding day.

I began screaming, running up and down the aisles. “Where is my mother?” I yelled.

Dante ran over to me now, taking me into his arms, soaking my tears with his suit. I felt hopeless. Where was my mother? It’s my wedding day, why isn’t she here?

“Victoria, your mother is dead.”

I looked up at Dante’s face now, backing away in fear and terror. My eyes widened as I saw his beautiful face turn into the face of the devil.

Blood dripped from his mouth. I could almost taste it as it trickled off of his flawless teeth. His eyes were red with fury and thirst as he smiled at me.

He grabbed me again, holding me as close as he could, putting his mouth to my throat.

“No!” I screamed.

“Victoria, Victoria, wake up!” I opened my eyes now, seeing the same perfect face in my dream. He was okay, Vincent hadn’t found us yet and everything was okay.

I looked around, making sure I wasn’t still dreaming, soaking in the picture perfect sights of his beautiful kitchen.

I tried to sit up now, putting my hand on the back of my head. It started to throb now, leaving me with a terrible headache. “How did I fall off of the chair?” I meant to say to myself.

“What happened? Are you okay? I got home and yelled your name. I never heard an answer so I went looking for you and found you shaking on the floor in here.”

“I had a panic attack,” I said now, embarrassed. Dante didn’t know my anxiety problems. I hoped he wasn’t going to start treating me like a child.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to freak out when I left? I wouldn’t have left!”

“I didn’t know I’d pass out and I didn’t know you’d be gone for as long as you were.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” he said as he pulled me close to him, cradling me in his arms. “I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t be thirsty for as long as I could.”

“We’re leaving soon, aren’t we?”

“Yes,” he whispered, looking into my eyes.

Thoughts began racing through my mind. But, I have so many more questions, there’s no time and I need to know so much, what am I suppose to do? “How long will it be until we have to leave?”

“Maybe a few days…maybe a week or so, I’m not quite sure, we’ve got to play this out well. I will need to gather supplies and such also to make sure that you will still be well-fed and your needs are met while we are escaping.”

I sighed deeply. “You know, making a decision based on no information at all is a very hard thing to do, Dante.”

He looked confused. I guess I caught him off guard a little. “What are you talking about, love?”

“You know, my decision about letting you change me. How am I supposed to make an honest decision if I hardly know anything of the creature I will become? I mean yeah, I know your story, but what if I’m different, I mean, I already know I don’t ‘possess’ the same powers that you do.”

“Calm down, Victoria, I will explain to you whatever you need to know or understand, please just be patient. What do you want to know?”

“Ok, so, wow, I have so many questions and I feel like we don’t have any time for this.”

“Don’t think about time right now, if I can help you make a decision, I will try to do just that. Spill your heart and mind to me.”

“Ok, let’s see…” I began thinking of all of the questions I could possibly ask. It was about two in the morning already and honestly, I didn’t really care how long it would take to ask the questions, I just really needed and wanted to know. “Question number one: what did it feel like when you were bitten?”

Dante looked away now, as in deep thought. He looked as though he was trying to find the right words to explain to me the best he could. “Well, you can pretty much guess that it hurt like hell. Being bitten by such brute force and with unbelievably sharp teeth is not the most pleasant feeling at all. It stung, it burned, and it was a terrible, terrible experience. Especially since I had no realizations of what was going on at all.”

“Ok, so getting bitten hurts, I got that one. Ok so, how did you feel once you started turning?”

“Well, as I said before, my veins started burning so badly that I blacked out. The pain is something I cannot fully explain. It was the most excruciating, burning, stinging pain I have ever felt in my life and I imagine I will ever feel for the rest of my life. Am I doing an alright job answering your questions?”

“Yes, yes, I’m just curious is all. I want to have a good idea of what I will be getting myself in to, you know?”

“Oh, of course, my love, I wouldn’t want you to make this decision unless you really and truly know it is something you want for the rest of your life.”

“Thank you, Dante.”

“Any time.”

“So, when you realized something was…wrong I guess you could say, did your mind change, were you taken over by some other force you couldn’t explain, did you actually know what was going on? Were you terrified of yourself and what that woman had done to you?”

“Actually, the way you described it is a way I would describe it myself. My mind took over, my extreme sense of smell and instincts came rushing into my mind as though the dam holding everything back had broken and water came pouring in. I had no clue what was going on, I had no clue what I’d been turned into and I was completely terrified. But the odd thing was, I could smell everyone’s blood, Victoria, every single person had a different scent. That’s why when I smelled you, it was completely different. You have a different type of blood running through your veins. Usually, I could tell when I had met someone’s relative. Their blood had different scents, but there was something about it that was the same. You understand?”

“Yes, I think I understand about as best as I can,” I giggled a little. It was all so much information to take in and to try to understand.

“Any other questions or are you getting tired yet?” He smiled at me, leaving me breathless. I love how he’s always so considerate. Always making sure I’m well-fed, well rested, just everything. He makes sure I am as perfectly content as I can be and it is something in him that I have never seen in any other man before.

“Actually, yes, I have millions of questions, I could honestly stay up all night and ask you things. I mean, you don’t have to sleep, right? So, if I’m not tired, what are we waiting for? I’ve known you for too long not to know every single thing about the person you are, right?”

Dante laughed. “You’re funny, you think that you can know every little detail about my life and the things I’ve gone through in a couple months? There is not enough time in the world to explain to you everything, Victoria. I still hardly know anything about you, I may know a few of your favorite dishes, your favorite color, and some things from your past but, love, we have an eternity to spend with one another, if we learn everything now, will we not get bored?”

“I could never be bored with you.”

“But, I’d like to learn as we go along, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind, Dante, but with the whole vampire thing, I’d like to learn the most I can, as I’ve already explained.”

“Oh yes, that is something I’d like to reveal everything to you about. But, I will not tell you anything unless you ask. I’m sorry, but that is my personality. I don’t just spill things randomly unless I know someone would like to know the information.”

“Understandable, I’m the exact same way.”

“Ok so, more questions then?”

“Yes. You mentioned that when you woke up from being blacked out, you walked into the sun and your skin turned translucent. Help me understand this.”

“Ok, Vincent taught me a lot about this but here is what I know. When we walk into the sun, instead of burning or dying or any of the things you see in the movies, we disappear. But that is not the only time we can change invisible, so to say. If we think of a place we would like to be, we are instantly transported there. Remember a couple of weeks ago when you ran out of food and I had to go to the grocery store?”

“Yes.”

“That’s how I got there and back so quickly.”

“I see, I was going to ask why you didn’t own a car,” I laughed again. This was all so interesting! I wanted to know everything!

“So, you understand?”

“Yeah, but did anyone see you just pop up out of space and walk into the store? How do you conceal yourself? You can’t just go transporting places without people knowing.”

Once again, it looked like I caught Dante off guard. It seemed like there was something he wasn’t telling me. I wasn’t about to let him change the subject or blow this off. I needed to know these things.

“Yeah, you know what? Come to think of it, you left in broad daylight, didn’t you? How didn’t you get caught? Even if you were to transport into a dark alley, once you walked back out into the sun, someone would notice. Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

He looked up into the air now, as though I’d caught him in a lie. There was something he was keeping from me! I’d shake it out of him if I had to. Screw being lied to.

“Yes, there is something I’m keeping from you. But I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you. It’s something very big and I don’t want you to go freaking out on me.”

Well, now I was freaking out! He wasn’t telling me something that was big and something that I obviously need to know! Why do things have to be so damn complicated?