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The White One Is Evil

Novel By: WhatIsInAName
Fantasy


Haha where do I start.
Well I basically got the idea for this story from the Video
"The white one is evil" By Elliot Minor.

Elliot Minor is a 5 piece band from England who's music genre is like Rock/Classical.
They are really good. If you want to check them out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpo7A5xUNmM that the video in question.

This is their myspace if you want to have a look.

www.myspace.com/elliotminor

Please check them out because they are totally under-rated.

Anyway... my main character Alexander is based around Alex Davies who is one of the main singers in Elliot minor. At the time I confess I had the biggggggggest crush on him. I wrote this before and after I met him after one of his gigs. He's gorgeous haha. So I thought I'd upload this and see what you guys thought. I'd been really proud of it and showed my friend it and he had not gave me a very positive review. He told me my characters were not very well developed and like my grammar etc was terrible lol. I was like oh well.
So yeah... please let me know what you think. I fell in love with my characters and I really thought this was a good story but I suppose one mans treasure is another mans trash. Anyway please give it a read and let me know what you think... Im going to upload all the chapters now. View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

Submitted: May 22, 2008    Reads: 38    Comments: 2    Likes: 1   


Alexander found the crowd with Luna. He pulled the hood from his cloak over his head. He was now just a face in the crowd. He could move unnoticed. Luna trailed closely by his feet. The poor people attending were shepherded in like dumb animals by the king’s watchers. Alexander managed to find a side door.

On entering the great hall where the corrination was to be taken place, he saw gold everywhere. Golden chairs, golden coloured drapes not to mention the amount of golden jewellery around the necks of the upper class.

The poor were shuffled in at the back to fill up the spaces and were forced to stand. They were purely there to keep the richer classes from feeling guilty. In this kingdom the rich were stealing from the poor and watching this vile, cold man come to power officially added insult to injury. The poor stood like muddy, wet soldiers about to cross no mans land. They could do nothing to stop this.

Alexander passed these people and snuck into a corridor.
“ First we must hide. Then just before the king is crowned, We strike!”

Alexander and Luna crept slowly up a spiral staircase and found themselves on the landing above the great hall. The kept low, watching the people come in through the stone banisters.

Alexander took out an apple and some berries from his cloak pocket.
He placed the berries in front of Luna who nodded appreciatively and devoured them.
Alexander bit into his apple and then took out his bow and arrow from his cloak.

“Here he comes.” Luna said.

Luna and Alexander peeked over the edge of the banister, keeping low.
An orchestra started up playing very pompous music to Fredrick walking. In front of Fredrick there was 2 small blonde haired children in gold robes, they had baskets of red petals and were throwing them on the walkway. Behind them there was 4 older males holding large banners saying things like
“Long live the King” and “Power and Justice”.
Alexander squinted angrily.

Finally Fredrick came down. He was wearing a very long cape, encrusted in green emeralds. He had two young females holding the trail at the back. He took a long time to get to his throne at the front, he was soaking in the people around him. Vainly loving the attention.

Once he had finally made it to the throne. A saddened looking priest appeared with a tray full of silver objects. He wore black robes and a small crucifix around his neck.

Fredrick sat down upon his throne. The mixed social people stared at him. The priest began to bless him in Latin. From his silver tray he produced an ampoule of oil. He anointed him in the sacred oils and stood aside. It was customary in these times for the new King to make an oath.

“Men, women and children. I vow to do the best for this Kingdom and my people.”

There was a loud cheer from the rich and a dark silence where the downtrodden poor stood.

Alexander tightened his fist.

The Priest then took the crown from a red velvet box. He walked slowly towards the smug Fredrick.
 Alexander held the bow in his hand, he slowly lifted an arrow, once secured, he pulled the bow back to his eye. The crown was hovering slowly over Fredrick’s head. Alexander began to sweat. This was his cousin. Could he really kill him?
“Now Alexander…now” Luna whispered.

Alexander pulled back ever so slightly further. He closed one eye. About to let go.

“ARGHHHH” a high pitched yell filled the room. A woman was running with a small knife towards the king. Everyone- including Alexander- looked on in shock. It was Isabella.

Isabella only got so far before a watcher appeared out of no where. She threw the knife before being wrestled to the ground by the 2 large men. The knife spun 3 times in the air before just missing  Fredrick

The knife was lodged in a tapestry just behind Fredrick. The crowd in the great hall gasped in fear, the king however smiled.

Isabella was now being held by the two watchers. Her arms were pinned behind her back and she was forced towards Fredrick.

He got up and stood next to her. Fredrick was now in perfect firing range for Alexander, He could kill him very easily.

Isabella was breathless and angry that she had missed.
“So here we are, our little mouse is back again men.” Fredrick said to the watchers holding her.
“I should have killed you before.” he said.

He walked around towards the people.
“I will show you. My ideals of justice.” Fredrick shouted signalling to a man on his side.
Another watcher appeared and took out his sword. He immediately placed it at Isabella’s neck
Alexander flinched.
“No Alexander… remember you are here to save the Kingdom, not the girl.” Luna said softly.
Alexander pulled back the bow to his eye again, he could get Fredrick at this range.
“I embrace death!” Isabella cried.
The watcher pulled back his sword and held it at level to strike. Isabella watched the blade coming towards her and tried  to keep composure as well as she could. There was silence throughout the hall.
“I’m sorry Luna.” Alexander said.

He quickly let go of his arrow and it went flying and the watcher square in the eye. The watcher became rigid, fell backwards and dropped his sword. Alexander didn’t even think about people seeing him. Many people ducked for cover under their chairs. Fredrick looked up.
“Who… is up there?” He asked. “I order you to show your face.”
Alexander jumped over the side of the balcony. “Alexander!” Luna shouted.
Alexander landed on his feet.
“I think you remember me.” Alexander said , bow and arrow in hand.
“But… you were supposed to be dead.” Fredrick shouted furiously.
“Yes well, your little men didn’t do as good a job as they should have.”
“Neither the less, you will be dead soon enough.” He nodded to the many watchers around them.
The watchers closed in.
“If you are so powerful then f-fight me yourself.” Alexander said
“Are you challenging me?”
“Yes.” Alexander replied, unsurely.

Fredrick looked around and then laughed.
“Fine.” He said “But we will use swords. Not arrows, that is boys sport.”
A watcher threw Alexander his sword which he caught. Fredrick held his sword confidently.

Alexander walked gingerly in a circle. Fredrick came towards him and struck his blade twice both times Alexander managed to block him. Unsteady on his legs.
“You have trained I see.” he mocked
“My mother taught me well.” Alexander said aiming to strike Fredrick just below the knee.

Fredrick jumped back.
“You are a pathetic fighter much like your father.”
“Don’t talk about my father.” Alexander said tightening his grip on his sword.
“Oh… but it gave me such great pleasure to kill him.” The King said through beady eyes.
Alexander stared at him on shock.
“You killed my father?” Alexander asked in shock.
“Oh yes. Quite simple really.. A pillow while he slept. He was too WEAK to fight it. And you, my boy, are next.”
“That’s what you think!” Alexander shouted angrily.

Alexander flew at Fredrick with all the rage he had in his system. He was using his hatred for everything that had happened to him against Fredrick. Every strike he made was easily blocked by Fredrick. Fredrick smiled sadistically and thrush his sword into Alexander’s shoulder, Alexander barely moved in time. The blade cut a deep gash into his shoulder. He cried out in pain and backed away from Fredrick.
“I’m no swordsman,” Alexander thought to himself “and if I keep playing his games, I’ll be dead soon enough.”
Alexander stuck his hand in his pocket, and felt the powder from the jail cell. Suddenly he had an idea.
He then ran towards Fredrick- though his shoulder was paining him greatly- and blew the dust onto Fredrick’s sword.

Fredrick looked at him perplexed for a moment. Then the sword began to change colours, a deep hot red began to emerge from the tip of the sword and flew down the blade all the way to the handle.
Fredrick dropped the sword. It was burning hot.
He attempted to pick up the sword, scalded his hand, dropped the sword and backed away from Alexander.
“What kind of witch craft is this?” Fredrick protested.
“My mothers.” Alexander said, taking a few steps closer to Fredrick.
Unarmed Fredrick backed away, still smugly, knowing there were watchers about him.
Alexander took a quick glance around. He looked at Isabella who was standing cautiously beside a pillar. He nodded to her slyly and then threw a small woollen purse at her. Alexander kept his sword level with Fredrick’s face. Isabella opened up the purse and found the same powder he had used on Fredrick’s sword. She knew what he wanted her to do.
Isabella ran at the watchers one by one throwing the powder onto their swords and into their face, the men all dropped their swords instantaneously or fell to the ground in agony from the burning pain of the powder.

Whilst the watchers dropped off like flies Alexander took his chance to grab a hold of Fredrick. He pressed his blade close to Fredrick’s neck, a small trickle of blood ran down. The people in the room shrieked.
“Tell these people who I am…Fredrick.” Alexander screamed “Tell them!”
Fredrick felt the blade cutting deeper into his neck and gave a panicked noise.
“King James’ son.” he said lowly.
“The cant hear you!”
“KING JAMES’ SON.” Fredrick bellowed

The crowd began to come closer.

“and you knew about me! Tell them you knew about me!”
“I knew!..”
“Tell them.. That you tried to have me killed.”
“…”
“Tell them!”
“…”
“TELL THEM!”
“I tried to have you killed!”
“and how did you do it? Tell them they truth!”
“I, made that young woman attempt to seduce Alexander,” He said pointing to the hiding Isabella.
“She was supposed to kill him.. But she didn’t. My Watchers poisoned  him.. He should be dead.”

A poor man from the back stepped forward.
“Is this true?!” He shouted.
Alexander pushed the knife a little further in Fredrick’s neck.
“Yes.. Yes it is.” Fredrick said.
“Then you are… our new king.” the man said.

Suddenly, the whole congregation in the great hall bowed down. Down they went  like dominoes.
“Kill him Prince Alexander!” One young woman shouted.
“Yes! It is only right!” An old man shouted up.

Alexander turned to Fredrick and looked him dead in the eyes. The smug but exhausted man looked back at him.
“Kill me then,” Fredrick began “ and have your first act of power.”
Everyone around him cheered and encouraged him.
They saw justice and all he saw was pain. He thought of his father and his mother.

“No,” Alexander began. The cheering ceased. “ Death, would be an easy way out for you. I want you to feel what you have done to your own family and the people of your Kingdom. I want you to ROT as you have made others rot.” He flung Fredrick to the ground and two young men picked him up.
“Shall we take him to the prison your majesty?” One boy said.
Taken aback. “Yes.. Please do.” Alexander said.

The day rolled in and Alexander was put in charge of the Kingdom and would soon be crowned the rightful King. The people of the Kingdom had more faith in this new king and Alexander was determined to help as many of the poor in his kingdom as he possibly could. As people left the great hall, and the watchers, Fredrick and his wife were taken to the castle prison, Alexander was left standing, feeling very unsure of himself. The Kingdom was now his, the Kingdom of his father.

He sat down on a chair in the great hall, very alone.
Luna- by this time back to her bird form- swooped down onto the seat next to him.
“Bet you never thought you would be here.”
“ Never in my wildest dreams…well maybe in my wildest.” Alexander smiled.
“Your father would be very proud of you Alexander. It takes a stronger man to fight Hate with Love than Hate With Hate.”
“ Do you think ill make a good King Luna, it all seems to… intimidating. What if I make a mistake, a really big one.”
“You will do fine.” She said comfortingly.
“ Well.. At least ill still have you. You will be here to help me out… wont you?”
“I’m…afraid I wont Alexander.”
“What? Why?” He said anxiously.
“This is not the place for me. I Must return to the forest to look after the creatures there. There is not balance without someone to keep it in check.” She said happily.
“I’ll miss you Luna.” He said and stroked the feathers on her head.
“ You may come visit me whenever you wish. The forest will always be open to you.” She said.
“ Who will keep me right without you Luna?” he sighed.
“ I think I know how.” She said and turned her head towards an open door.

Isabella was standing there, looking awkward and scratching her arm.

“I’ll leave you too alone.” Luna said, before cawing and flying off through the open door.

Isabella walked towards Alexander and sat down. They stayed very quiet for a few minutes.
“You will make a wonderful King.” Isabella said suddenly, turning to face him. Her eyes sparkling.
“Thank you,” He said formally.
“I wanted to say thank you for saving me from the Prison and then saving me again.”
“It was nothing.”
“It was something to me…I just wanted to…wish you good luck.” She smiled forcefully and stuck out her hand.
Alexander took her hand in his to shake it, feeling her warmth ebb from her hand.
She smiled once more and got up to walk out the door.
Alexander could see her white dress flowing away from him.
What was he doing?
“Wait..” Alexander said.
Isabella turned around.
“A large part of me, wants to take you in my arms and kiss you right at this moment, but I don’t know whether I’m being influenced. I mean I didn’t see you doing it to any other men?”
“ If it is some so called power that I have then I don’t know how to control it. You were the only one I think I’ve affected…”
“And your fiance?”
“He was an evil man.” Isabella said sharply. “He wanted me as his possession. I never loved him.”
“ Did you love…me? In all honesty? When you are as free as a bird from its cage, and even if you tell me an answer I dislike, I’ll do nothing. I promise.”
Isabella looked him over.
“ I love you now, and always have done.” Isabella said in happy tears, and turned to leave the great hall.
Alexander grabbed her hand and pulled her back towards him. He held her shoulders in his hands and looked over her glistening eyes, he pushed her wavy blonde hair from her eyes and smiled. She smiled back. He kissed her lightly.

“ I’m willing to take a chance on you, because I think you are worth it. If, you would give consent to be my wife. I cant run this Kingdom alone.” Alexander said happily.
Isabella hugged him tightly. “ Alexander, I would love to.”


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Comments:

*Applause* Yay ! It was a very delicious plot ! I loved reading this . Though you need to fix the typos (not gonna happen lol) You done well , kiddo , you done well . Hope Alex and Isabella rule as a good king..And queen . Sucks that Luna had to go . Hrmmm... somehow it seems as though you took 2 or 3 chapters and shoved them in to one , which is why this chapter is so long . lol . I needa get to eating brekky now lol

Posted: May 23, 2008

Author Comment:

haha yeah. It is the longest chapter xD.

aww well Im glad you liked it :D

I know... I was re-reading through and thinking like.. ahh jeez look at those typos xD... the thing is I wrote most of this at nighttime.. like inches from sleep and then I dont go back and correct it xD

AHHHHH!!! i LOVE LOVE LOVE times 999999999999999 a lot of 9 love it

Posted: May 24, 2008

Author Comment:

haha thank you :D
Im glad you like it.
Nope thats it all lol.

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