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The White One Is Evil

Novel By: WhatIsInAName
Fantasy


Haha where do I start.
Well I basically got the idea for this story from the Video
"The white one is evil" By Elliot Minor.

Elliot Minor is a 5 piece band from England who's music genre is like Rock/Classical.
They are really good. If you want to check them out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpo7A5xUNmM that the video in question.

This is their myspace if you want to have a look.

www.myspace.com/elliotminor

Please check them out because they are totally under-rated.

Anyway... my main character Alexander is based around Alex Davies who is one of the main singers in Elliot minor. At the time I confess I had the biggggggggest crush on him. I wrote this before and after I met him after one of his gigs. He's gorgeous haha. So I thought I'd upload this and see what you guys thought. I'd been really proud of it and showed my friend it and he had not gave me a very positive review. He told me my characters were not very well developed and like my grammar etc was terrible lol. I was like oh well.
So yeah... please let me know what you think. I fell in love with my characters and I really thought this was a good story but I suppose one mans treasure is another mans trash. Anyway please give it a read and let me know what you think... Im going to upload all the chapters now. View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

Submitted: May 22, 2008    Reads: 30    Comments: 1    Likes: 1   




Fredrick ventured down a dark alley his cloak blowing elaborately in the breeze. It was the witching hour. All around Fredrick was squalor and homeless people. The houses down there were filthy and cramped and the people cried out in vain for a saviour. Not that he cared, he would one day be their king. His plans were to benefit his own fortune and not his people. Poverty was becoming a major problem. As children died everyday in street corners, he sat in his large over decorated castle without a care in the world. These people would find no mercy in this new king only the rough hand of indifference.

Fredrick walked up the steps of a small but slightly better looking house. Pinching his nose as he passed the people.
He knocked 3 times and the door opened.
A small lady bowed and welcomed him in.
This house was home to a man of better wealth than most, but he was a thief and a gambler everything he owned he had stole.
“ is Mr O’Hare in. I had better  not find that I have come all this way for nothing.” Fredrick said to the lady.
“ Aye sir. I will just go and get him. Please take a seat.”
“ No.. no thank you.” Fredrick said loathing the plain chairs inside the small living room.”

Two minutes later Mr O’Hare returned. He was a man going rather bald. He dressed rather untidily and his shirt hung out at one side of his trousers.
“ Your Majesty.” Mr O’Hare bowed.
“ I have come on urgent business O’Hare.”
“ Call me William.”
“ William.. I need your help.”
“ What seems to be the problem? Unruly men around your wife? Anything been stole from the castle?”
“ No nothing like that. There could be some complications with my coronation. It would seem that there is another heir out there.”
“ I see and you wish me to take care of it?”
“ Yes.”
“ Capture? Silencing?”
“ Id rather… have him murdered.”
“ Murdered!? But your majesty.. I had promised myself I would not deal in such things again. Made my peace with god ,so I did.”
“ O’Hare. If anything was to.. Get in the way of my coronation. Something might get in the way of your home. Your family. If you do not do this for me, I swear I will have the police sent over straight away. What is the penalty for stealing from rich members of society now O’Hare?”
“ Death.”
“ Ah yes. Well perhaps you ought to think of that.”
“ What would happen if say.. I did do this for you.”
“ Oh.. At no point did I say I wanted you directly to do this.”
“ I am afraid you’ve lost me your majesty.”
“ I hear you have the daughter of Armentina am I correct?”
“ How did you know of this?!”
“.. and I have heard she was a great sorceress, especially at making men fall in love with her. I doubt very much that the apple falls far from the tree.”
“ Your Majesty. She is but 17. She is to be married to me at 18.. If anything happened to her.. Besides what is she to do?”
“ I have heard from a source that the boy is most commonly found on the outskirts of the fields watching the young males and females. I believe he is quite lonely. If you do this for me O’Hare. I Promise you jewels, land and money beyond your wildest dreams. You will never have to live in these filth infested streets among these lazy and primitive people. Even your wedding will be a royal one, and if.. Your FiancĂ© does this job cleanly then I will hold a marvellous party in your honour where I shall knight you.”
“ That is so.. Generous.”
“ Yes. So much for something so little. Will you do this for me.”
“ Of course sir!”
“ Will you bring the girl forward first so I may look upon her?”
“ Isabella!” O’Hare cried. He pulled the girl out of a side door. She had been standing listening to the conversation hoping they didn’t realise.
The girl was a beauty. Her eyes were sea blue and her hair was wavy long and blonde. She was standing in a plain grey dress with an apron. Her face seemed smudged with dirt. She kept her eyes to the ground.

Fredrick studied her.
“ Ah yes. I am sure she will do the job, no problem. What do you do in this house girl?” He asked.
“ I.. cook and clean sir. I stay below stairs.” she said still staring at the ground.
“ We will come for her early morning tomorrow. We have only learned of the boys whereabouts. She will be given a week to carry out what we have asked. I will leave you now.”

As the front door closed. Isabella was left standing motionless next to O’Hare.
“ Well… at least now I don’t have to repeat what you must do.”
“ I .. will not kill anyone Mr O’Hare!”
O’Hare stood up in a fury and gripped both her arms.
“ You will do what I tell you to. You are mine. If you do not do what I tell you I will throw you out, but not before I damage you.” He smiled evilly and placed his hand just above her chest.
She shook herself away.
“ I will run away!”
“ To where? Your parents gave you to me! You understand that. They gave you to me. No man will never truly love you because anything he ever feels for you will be your sorcery.”
“ You speak of this sorcery. I have never used!!”
“ Your mother was a witch and so are you. You pretend not to have any powers but I have seen you move things, and get out of danger. You think these things are just coincidence? You have a gift child.”
“ If I have a gift of control then why cant I control you?”
“ Because I have no heart for you to control.”
“ Made pacts with the devil did you?”
“ Yes.. And he gave me you.”

Isabella looked at him in fear.
“ I have waited so long to drink from this cup.” He said twirling a piece of her golden hair in his ink ridden fingers.
“ Well you will keep waiting!”
“ A few more months. Only because I know that I am only safe with the king only to a certain extent. If I married you before the lawful age, I would be sent to prison. So you will go to this boy. You will seduce him and you will kill him. Or I will make you a ruined woman and you will live below stairs forever.”


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Comments:

AGH ! I like the little 'negotiating' scene. It disturbed me when O'Hare started forcing Isabella to kill the heir...I guess this is much more fast paced than others .

Posted: May 22, 2008

Author Comment:

haha thank you :D.

Yeah... O'Hare is a nasty piece of work :/

haha do you think so?

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