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St. Mikhail Academy For Dhamps and Vamps

Novel By: xAnGeL1Cx
Fantasy


Seventeen year old Rose, a dhampir who is currently studying at St. Mikhail Academy possesses the element of spirit. She is the second dhampir in the history of magical creatures to possess an element. Because this element is very rare, it attracts attention of both good and bad people. Soon, she finds strange things happening to her, such as having the ability to heal living things and use compulsion. Then, threats start coming as she starts receiving letters from an unknown person. Besides that, her hot dueling instructor has caught her eye, distracting her. Her best friend is hooking up with her boyfriend behind her back and she has no clue about it. Between all this drama, will she finally figure out who is writing all these letters to her? View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6

Submitted: Oct 13, 2008    Reads: 161    Comments: 10    Likes: 3   


This chapter is really short, and I'm sorry! its not really exciting, but you should still read it though (: I'll post more if I can tomorrow!

The Peacekeeper - Chapter II

“How can you be so irresponsible Ms. Vasilisa?!” yelled Headmistress Kaverin.

I rolled my eyes at her, and kept my gaze on the window behind her. It was dark outside, real dark. There were no stars out tonight, and the moon was nowhere to be seen. I sighed and turned my attention back to the Headmistress.

“Do you know the amount of attention you attracted to yourself? Do you know how dangerous this could be for both dhampirs and vampires?” She asked.
“Yes, I know the amount of attention I attracted to myself and yes I know how dangerous it is.” I answered her, my voice.
Kaverin sighed exasperatedly at me and shook her head. “I really do not know what to do with you anymore Ms. Vasilisa.” She looked away from me and stared out the window.

Seconds passed, probably minutes. I fiddled in my seat, eager to get this over with. Unlike most of my peers, I was considered impatient.

Finally she turned back to me. “Taking into account your recent behavior, I have decided to put you on probation.”
“Probation?” I asked, not believing a word of what she said. “Probation?? But I barely did anything!” I protested.
She raised her eyebrows at my choice of words. “Barely anything?” She asked, an amused edge to her voice. “Remember the time that you crashed into the school gate? Or the time that you beat up your Slavic History professor because he mentioned something about your family? And also the time when you punched a senior girl for some-“
“Okay, okay. I get it.” I said, sighing and flinching slightly at her words. I had done a few things, but it was all because they got me mad or it was an accident.
She smiled at me and I gave another eye roll. “Besides probation, you are only allowed to attend school,” she stressed at that word, “functions and activities. Other than that, you are to remain in the senior girls dorm the whole time.”
My mouth dropped at this. That meant that I wasn’t allowed to attend any parties or go out with my friends. “Are you serious?!” I screeched. “This is unbelievable! You-you can’t do this!” I said, even though I knew very well that she could. “Isn’t putting me on probation enough?” I pleaded.
Kaverin regarded me with an are-you-serious look and shook her head. “I am sorry Rosalie, but it is the also part of the professors’ decision.” She said, sounding sorry.

I shook my head in disbelief, and stood up. “Fine.” I said, smiling my dangerous smile. Just as I started towards the door, she called for me. “I forgot, this is a new class schedule. We had to make some changes to yours,” she said, handing me a sheet of paper. I took it from her hands politely and then walked out of the room, resisting the urge to slam the door close as I did.


3

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Comments:

this was really good

Posted: Oct 13, 2008

Author Comment:

really?? thank you soo much! like i said, it was on a wimp.. haha

this is really good i like it update soon plez:]

Posted: Oct 13, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you! :) I will!

OMG!! this is soo wicked man update soon plz!!

~@~aishaali~@~

Posted: Oct 13, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks for comment aishaali! and I'm glad you like it! xD

just love this novel
very interesting

hope ya update soon

Posted: Oct 14, 2008

Author Comment:

thank yous! I will tonight! ;)

Now this chapter was more realistic, though even with "madam" vaguely under control, she's a fun character. I would suggest you add this short chapter to the previous one. Linking them would enhance both.

Cad

Posted: Oct 23, 2008

Author Comment:

haha, I liked the way you phrased it, "madam". lol. I really appreciate the suggestion, but I think I'll just keep it this way. Thanks for suggesting though! :]

hi! cher. kaverin put the brakes on rosa. it is a damper, actually. so, what'll rosa do now. teehee. lol. ;-)

Posted: Oct 27, 2008

Author Comment:

haha, yep, this girl kinda needs some restrictions :)

Okay, back again. Again you get the story across very ably with good dialogue. One of your strengths is the ability to bring each scene to vigorous life. I think you could probably carry this whole short chapter on dialogue alone if you really wanted to, which means you could write a play without much trouble!

Now for the suggestions and possible edits (not many):

Sugg delete 'It was dark outside, real dark.' This IMO, is unnec. The next sentence says it all.

'She looked away from me and stared out the window [for some time].'

'I [fidgeted]in my seat.' "Fiddled" is okay, but IMO "fidgeted" is more descriptive.

'She smiled at me and I [rolled my eyes again.'] Now I suggest you include here some reaction to the eye rolling from Kaverin.

' ... urge to slam the door as I did.' Slamming the door is "closed" believe me. I was an expert door slammer when I was in my teens, about a thousand years ago LOL
Cad

Posted: Oct 29, 2008

cool. i like how you show the character.

Posted: Nov 3, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks! ;)

Aw poor her! lol

Posted: Nov 4, 2008

Author Comment:

yeah, it's pretty much like being grounded, lol

so far loving it! though a suggestion would be to make quotes when some one talks because it was hard to tell when someone was talking or not and it broke my focus on the story.

Posted: Nov 28, 2008

Author Comment:

oh, I thought I did put quotes? lol, I'll check again. :) thanks for the suggestion!



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