Random First Lines: me and youyou and medo you think about me when i am not theredo you want to call me but you just cantyou see me... : Young Adult » Read

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A young girl, Celia,was the princess of the vampire kingdom until she relinquishes her Vampiric powers, by drinking an elixir.. she does this to protect her family. and now is at the mercy of the new vampire king, Nicholai, a ruthless monster, who has taken her as his slave. View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19

Submitted: Jun 24, 2008    Reads: 126    Comments: 2    Likes: 1   


I watched, in horror as I saw Nicholai take his place on his ornate, gold and ruby throne - no!.. not his... my father's throne...as far as i'm concerned, it will never be his - He signalled with a sweep of his arm, for the kneeling Elders to rise, then he beckoned for me to come and take my place beside him. I tried, but I couldn't move. I was filled with such rage, my body was momentarily paralyzed. He beckoned to me a second time, this time his eyes darkened slightly in annoyance, At the back of my mind, I knew what I would suffer if I didn't obey him, but at that moment, I wasn't too concerned about that, instead I was so consumed with fury that it was taking everything I had, not to scream obsceneties at him and the traitorous Elders! 
It must have been only a few seconds that passed, but it felt like hours. I just stood satring at him, until suddenly, sheI found myself nearing the throne, I looked down to find that my feet were moving, without neither my knowledge, nor permission. I looked up again and found I was in front of Nicholai now. Harshly, he said. "Bow!" ..before I could retort, I felt my body being crumpled into an akward position, so had no choice but to fall to my knees. I gazed up at him, my eyes shimmering with unshed tears, pleading silently for mercy.. he tortured me for a few more seconds, his mouth twisted into an evil grin. then finally, he released me.. 
it was like being freed from an painfully constricting hold, and i nearly collapsed to the floor. Taking a few deep breaths, I gathered myself up from the floor and gingerly moved to sit beside him... I blinked back my tears and glared at the Elders in front of me, how could they just stand by and watch me being treated like this, these are people who had watched me grow up.. they were like family, and yet they stood her, heads bowed and not one of them was attempting to help me!.

"Celia .. you are my wife.. therefore, my property.. and also I am king, so the Elders cannot interfere in anything I do to you, so there is no reason to feel as though they've betrayed you.." He spoke the words so softly, it almost didn't register what he said, then it dawned on me and I sprang up in the bed, looking at him in shock.. "how... how- did,.. how did you know.. what- what i was thinking?!" In the darkness, I could still make out his amused expression as he said. "because, my darling.. i can read every thought that passes through that little head of yours.." I shook my head in disbeleif.. "you can't possibly.. mind reading is a myth among vampires.. it's not true!.. my father told me that himself!." now, he sat up as well. "then your father wass wrong Celia.. see, mind-reading is uncommon among vampires, but there are a few that posess the ability.. only a few though, because it is a bloodline trait.. you must inherit it.. you cannot learn it, nor absorb it from another vampire. I happen to be one of the few that posess this gift." 
i sat there speechless, then he reached over and began stroking my face. "I can feel your fear, are you so afraid of me knowing your every thought?.. what are you hiding in that delicate head of yours Celia?.." he chuckled as i shook myself free of his caressing hands. I cleared my throat, I needed to find out as much as possible about this so called ability, so I'd know what I was up against.. "So, you can hear every thing i think.. at all times?." cocking his head to one side, he hesitated, then answered.."well, no, not everything.. mostly, the really prominent thoughts, like ones filled with fear or anger, or sadness.. any strong emotion really, if it's just a random thought, devoid of any real emotion, I tend not to hear it.. also, I can ignore it sometimes, if  i do not wish to hear the voices in my head.. I can switch off." I nodded, then steeling myself, I asked what I really wanted to know.. "is it possible - hypothetically - to stop you, you know, like block you reading thoughts?" he looked up at me sharply.. "why?!.. well, i will tell you anyway, because even if you do know.. It makes no difference. Only very powerfull vamires can train to combat bloodline traits.
 for the most part.. no, it's not possible.. but there are a few very powerfull vampires who can deflect my ability." 
Before i could catch myself, I heard myself quip. "bet my dad could have deflected it easy!". I held my breath, waiting for his rage and punishment.. instead, he sighed and said "Get some rest Celia, it's been a long night" then, he lay back down on the bed, his back towards me...


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Comments:

oooooo.... wats goin2 happen nxt????! like tis bk loads^^~ hope nic can fll in love wif the girl n visi verser... ^^~

Posted: Jun 26, 2008

Author Comment:

oohh!x!..
wel you'll just av 2 wait nd see hun!x!..
xlolx..
tnx for readin!!..
xoxoxox

Oh, interesting. I do loath Nicholai..maybe if he didn't treat her like crap, I would've liked him

But I'd like to give you some advice: 1. Start a new paragraph for every dialogue. Or just simply hit "enter" every time someone says something..This is easier for readers (see format of my stories); 2. I found a few spelling and punctuation errors, which aren't really that bad, but still diminishes the quality of the novel. Before posting your chapters, run them through spell check or some sort.

But aside from those ^; I really like where this is going, update me when you post the next chapter. =]

Posted: Jun 27, 2008

Author Comment:

aww..tnx soo much for readin thiis..
nd liike tnx for the advice, cs liike i joined booksie so I could improve mi writing..
so liike i'm realli glad som1 is taking the time out to point out stuff i need to improve..
xox tnx xox



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