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A Relapse in Creation

Novel By: XxPrincessxX
Fantasy


Raj, a fierce vampire, brings together his 5 most brutal victims for a relapse in memory, where he reveals the truth of their creation… and then slaughters them all, the moment they understand that he was the one who damned them worse then dead. View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3

Submitted: May 18, 2008    Reads: 90    Comments: 2    Likes: 2   


A Relapse in Creation -Chapter 1- Ali's story

“Ali?”

“Here.”

“Cleo?”

“Hmm?”

“Orya?”

“Yes?”

“Kaija?”

“What?”

“EJ?”

“It’s Eijae. Emphases on the ‘JAY’.” Eijae responded in a frustrated tone. No one ever got her name right.

“Sorry Eijae. Anyway, I’m glad you all made it here. I know it must have been a tough journey for some of you.” Raj looked too Kaija. “I will try and make this as easy as possible for everyone, but mark my word; this is going to be tough.” He sighed.

Ali tried to lighten the tense atmosphere. “So, are you going to tell us why you picked all girls for this?”

Raj grimaced. “I didn’t want things to… get out of hand. When involving males, things tend to messy.” Orya nodded her head in agreement. Raj laughed. “Ah, that’s right. I forgot about your… special circumstances, Orya.”

Cleo looked up. “What circumstances?” Orya frowned, but Raj gave her an encouraging nod.

Orya cleared her throat. “It’s my story. We all have one, just mine might be more… colorful then the rest.”

Cleo snorted. “Oh please. It doesn’t get much worse then me.” Orya raised an eyebrow.

“Ladies, ladies. Let’s not get hasty!” Raj grinned broadly. “As it happens, you all have very interesting stories. As a matter of fact, that’s one of the reasons I brought you all together.” He looked at them all with pride. “So maybe, we would all like to share those stories? I bet it would make for an interesting day.” When no one responded, Raj turned to Ali. “Shall you go first?”

Ali frowned at being addressed first, but preceded into her story immediately. “I was young… as all of us were. I was self confidant, and well aware that every male eye had been on me since the day I turned twelve. My gloriously long, brunette hair fell to the small of my back, my bright green eyes soft and luscious. I was athletic, and fast. I could have been a professional athlete, if I hadn’t been so absorbed with my appearance that I was afraid of breaking a sweat. No one cared, anyway. What was it to them if I could run faster then anyone in town even with a fifty pound backpack on me? All that mattered was that I was beautiful. The sad part was that I was okay with it. I didn’t work hard to be charismatic, or opinionated. I wasn’t even a person, just a pretty face that smiled on command.

“And that’s when he came. I can’t remember what he looked like, what he was called, or even the sound of his voice. All I remember is he was beautiful, and I wanted him more then anything, simply because he was a new face. Not just a new face, a beautiful one.

“At first he was resistant. That just made me work harder, because I had never been denied before. After all, I was Ali, the perfect girl who made any other seen average while standing beside me. Of course, he came to me in the end.

“Little did I know, it really was the end. I think he might have known it all along, but I can tell you that I didn’t even understand it when it was over. It was so dark, and so frustrating, and I couldn’t tell where he was. Then I saw his eyes glow red, and I knew the stories must be true. I knew I was staring a monster in the face, something that was going to make me worse then dead.

“I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t struggle, and I couldn’t even plea with him to stop. He lunged at me so fast, and next thing I knew, I could feel the crimson liquid flowing down my neck. Then he released, and forced me to look up into his face. Into his eyes.

“He moved to my wrist, and the crimson started flowing from that, too. I couldn’t see a knife, or any kind of weapon. All I knew was that it hurt more then any torture known to man kind.

“And then… it stopped. I can’t remember if he hurt me more, or where he took me, or if I was dead or not. I woke up somewhere damp, dark and musty, with little knowledge of what had happened. My memory came back to me later- and I remembered things that I thought only existed in nightmares. I remembered him crushing his jaw to my neck, and then him telling me stories of creatures with incredible strength, vision, and reflexes. He told me they were creatures of the night, ones that drank blood of mammals.

“‘You’ll prefer humans’ He told me. And he wasn’t wrong.” Ali sighed, and looked towards Raj. “There you go- my story. Are you going to tell us yours?” Raj smiled.

“In time.” He responded and turned to Cleo. He inclined his head once, giving her the notion to begin.


2

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Comments:

Wow. What an incredible idea for a story. I can't wait for the next chapters! This is going to be quite a story. The description in the story is superp! I can imagine everything that happened. For the next chapters, I'd make the characters more charismatic. Ali was "the perfect girl", which you see in a lot of stories. Maybe change things up a bit. It would make things interesting.
Great job! You're writing is always amazing. I can't wait for more!
xRAINBOWx

Posted: May 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Rainbow! I'm glad to hear you like my idea for this story, I was unsure that you would approve lol. and yes, Ali is a typical character. but no worries, the others will be quite unique. =)
Xx Ash xX

it's really good so far, and i think you can go good places with the idea. be careful for little grammatical errors that spell check normally wouldn't catch. it helps to reread the story a couple times and you will probably find mistakes that have nothing to do with grammar. keep writing, and i'll keep reading. can't wait for more.

Posted: Jun 2, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks tar, I'm glad you liked it. :)



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