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Dragons World

Novel By: xxstuckinfantesyxx
Fantasy


Shadow is an outcast of his clan, Winged Fury. The clans leader Ignites declares war against another clan, Golden Armor. Shadow however dose not agree, and gose to take action, but gets exiled. How will he save Winged Fury? There fate lays in his paws... View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3

Submitted: Aug 25, 2008    Reads: 36    Comments: 4    Likes: 0   


Chapter 2- A new Friend, or Enemy

Shadow stared into the horizon the pink clouds shown his way, to were he did not know. He tried to swallow but was parched. He flew for a couple minuets scanning for a small pond. He snorted and spotted a blue lake. He gradually lowered from the air until his paws brushed up against the grass.

He walked up to the lake and stared at his reflection. His black scales shinned against the water. He sighed and crouched down and drank the fresh water. He stopped for a second. Then looked up. “AH!” he yelped. An orange dragon with a purple crest gazed upon him. He slowly backed away. He ducked his head. It had 4 horns on each side of her head. Her height was near Shadows.

He huffed out a breath. His fear stolen away by her beautiful face. “Who are you?” she joyfully said. “I’m Shadow…” he replied in a low voice. “Oh… well I’m Cynder.” She said.” Are you a loner?” Shadow asked? “Nope! I’m part of a clan.” She said proudly. Anger grabbed Shadows stomach. “Enemy.” He thought. He looked

down and dug his claws into the ground. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He was trained to kill anyone that was not part of there clan. To him, it triggered like a reflex.

“A-a-are you part of G-g-golden armor? He said, trying to avoid the question. “yea I am…why?” Shadow didn’t respond. He just thought. “Attack…attack.” “Should I? he mumbled to himself. “What?” Cynder asked, trying to be polite. Shadow just shot his head up and glared at her. Anger filled his eyes, and his leg muscles tightened. He roared and flung himself forwards. He growled and bite her neck. She yelped and struggled to get free. He locked his jaw into her skin.

She finally managed whack him with her tail. He immediately fell out of his “trance” he released his grip and backed off. Worry filled his eyes. Cynder growled at him and turned around and nailed him with her tail again. Before he got a chance to get up she jumped on his back and rapidly clawed him. She cracked a couple scales. Shadow screeched and jumped up, trying to fling her off, but she wouldn’t budge. Her grip was strong. She let go and jumped off and landed on the grass. She growled, ready to pounce again.

“Wait, I’m sorry!” he said as he ducked his head for cover. “Sorry? You just attacked me without warning!” she snapped back.” It’s a um…um… trigger effect.

.” he finally blurted out.” What?” she shook her head to make sure she heard him right? “its like a trigger effect, okay?” he said back. His heart beat in his throat. He tried to hide his sadness.

“So you’re…an…exile?” She finally said. Shadow slightly nodded his head. She stood back up, and let her defense down. “So you were once part of…Winged Furry?” she squeaked. Shadow nodded his head again. “Why did they kick you out? She asked. Then Shadow flung his head up. The attack. He stood to his feat.” The attack!” he whispered. “What attack? “Winged Furry…was going to…” shadow paused and stared into Cynders hazels eyes.

“Continue.” She said. “Attack Golden Armor, and kill everyone.” He quickly said. Cyder hesitated. “Well, let’s warm my family!” She said. She hyperventilated then spread her wings out and took to the skies. “You come to!” she yelled back, her voice muffled from the sound of the wind. Shadow leaped up and glided behind her. He clawed the air and flew beside her.” How far is it?” Shadow yelled trying to overcome the whistle of the wind.

“About a day or twos flight!” she hollered back.” WHAT?!” he yelled. “There attacking tonight!” Cynder gasped. “Oh no!” she moaned. “Let’s try to make it anyway.” She said and she beat her wings harder gaining speed. Shadow flew directly under her, trying to keep up. They flew across the noon sky, growing darker every minuet. Night was chasing them. The sun slowly set.

After hours of flight Cynder started to complain about her wings. “Lets rest my wings are killing me!” she whined. Shadows knew if they stopped they wouldn’t have time, and if he went without her theyd immediately attack him. “We can’t stop now were almost there.” He groaned. “Yea just about one more day to go.” She hollered. Shadow sighed. “I can’t hear you!” he shouted. “ONLY ANOTHER DAY TO GO!” she yelled. ”LALALALALALA I still can’t hear you!” he yelled over her voice.

“humph.” She sighed. She slowed down a tad then shot forward like a bullet. She grabbed Shadows waist and dragged him to the ground. “what are you doing, STOP!” he yelled and squirmed.” Lalalala I can’t hear you!” she said with a little giggle. “Ugh.” Shadow sighed and gave up. She pulled him to the ground under a big tree. She stretched her wings out. She lay down and rested her eyes. “C’mon well never get there!” Shadow moaned. Cynder huffed out a deep breathe. “Your being ridicules.” She said as she rolled over to her side. He rolled his eyes.

Shadow glanced up at the night sky. Time was on a short leash. “Come on, either death to your family or we save them.” He bleated. Cynder stared at him with heavy eyes. Shadow glared back. “Well?” he urged her. She took a breath, and stood to her feet. “Finally…” Shadow mumbled. Cynder leaped up and sailed across the sky. Shadow scurried after her. “Were not going to make it.” Cynder helplessly said. “Well we have a chance.” Shadow replied, trying to cheer her up.

She glanced back, her eyes filling with tears. “Don’t worry, well make it…” he whispered, not sure of his own answer. He looked up at the full moon and pressed on forward


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Comments:

I like it it's good

Posted: Aug 25, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks

Once again, I liked it a lot. Your dialogue flows beautifully.

I also have more advice. When formatting your story, dialogue by different characters generally starts a new paragraph.

In this section, for exaple:

He huffed out a breath. His fear stolen away by her beautiful face.
“Who are you?” she joyfully said.
“I’m Shadow…” he replied in a low voice.
“Oh… well I’m Cynder.” She said.
”Are you a loner?” Shadow asked?
“Nope! I’m part of a clan.” She said proudly.
Anger grabbed Shadows stomach. “Enemy.” He thought. He looked down and dug his claws into the ground. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He was trained to kill anyone that was not part of there clan. To him, it triggered like a reflex.

It's a rough example, but I think it should help. Your chapter would read better if it was more organized in its paragraph use.

I hope this helps, and if you have any questions, I'll try to answer them as soon as possible.

Many good thoughts to you,
Javelin

PS I can read chapter 2 ^_^

Posted: Aug 26, 2008

Author Comment:

Hmm i see. Thank you very much for all the advice you have givven me :)I will make useage of it.
thanks a bunch for reading!

only one thing was misspelled but who cares, it was a good chapter. i wonder if they make it home in time? when ya update tell meh! ok?

Posted: Aug 26, 2008

Author Comment:

Sorry, there may be some errors in my writing, im not so good at spelling =/
but i must say i am improving :D

Ya should do ya writing on Microsoft word! It helps fix errors and stuff like that! Other than that, this was an AWSOME chapter!

Posted: Aug 28, 2008

Author Comment:

haha i do it on word, just sometimes you cant trust it... lol
and thanks!



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Other writing by xxstuckinfantesyxx Vengeance, a wolf story. Fantasy** Need a Title, any suggestions?? *Beautiful Night* More..



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