Okay so I'd say about 99% no, more like 79% of this, flew right over my cognition. :)

BUT, you make it sound so pretty that images of exotic lands far away and the possibility of a higher intelligence I couldn't quite grasp like butterflies dancing above my head...still pressed into my vision and mind.

Also, twards the end grasped the beginnings of a story, here goes: so a woman is leaving a (rice)paper trail of clues to her lover...I don't know what the words mean, but she's toying with her lover with words...he finds them and follows them past the bamboo, the cherry tree, the pond, and they lead to her...he comes up behind her murmering these words of love and humors her strange brew of word clues finding a way to make them sexy and alluring? They tumble to the vegetation and viola!

No where near the mark? Well, it's what I saw in the center of the storm of beautiful malay.

You did strange and wonderful things with those words and that setting you were given...hope I didn't make a bigger mess of things for ya;)

I still 'LIKE'd IT' for all the wicked spinning it created in my mind.

~rain

Posted: Jun 23, 2008

Shall I start ??

Okay here i go...

The lovely lady finally gets her lover inspite of her twisted hints amidst beautiful surrounding and when he reaches her, she is relieved...inspite of giving him all the twisted hints, she was anxious that 'if' could never make it...how would she continue with her journey?

I felt the 'truth' and honesty behind the feelings of the lady...she was ready to follow her lover anywhere....till eternity....

but something still bothers me...who is she ??

Our soul leading our actions?? lol...

Posted: Jun 23, 2008

^_^ ok,first of all: "IT'S ABOUT TIME"
hahahaha, we've only been waiting like ....forever lol!

well ok then; this is just only how it hit me in my little ol' head ;)
'midline, neckline, eye line, with appeal and then with zeal' all of these and plus the 'my nerevous hand, my anxious hand etc etc down to my triumphant hand (gosh I loved those parts) this all made me feel the intensity of the hunt and of lust and capture, hahah I don't know.. it was just holding me as I read captivated, and I couldn't believe it cause two moments before I was ready to log off and get going...
so well, then as I read on it kinda changed and I wondered after going back through it if it all meant that he had not sucuum to the final orgasm? I don't know but then it seemed as though they got there together in the end.... OH MY G# I am probably so totaly was off BUT it doesn't matter hey, cause as long as the reader feels good then you've done good! ^_^ LOLOLOL!!! and hey I feel GREAT!!!!!!! :D

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

Enjoyable work and well done, I say. Loved wrapping my mind around the story you've created, letting my thoughts wander in the lush jungle of your mind's eye.

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

Okay Peachy, I'm gonna give it a try....when reading I have to say my 11yr old was spitting out definitions left and right to the words I didn't know the meaning. Like transmogrification....unbelieveable she knew the meaning. Anyway, this is what I got from this....He's wanting to reach her, there's obstacles, but yet, it's really just the chase until he captures her in a sense with words, expressions.......taking in, and holding on to every word. In her deep thoughts realizes "too good to be true" says enough, and that's the end of it......she can now breathe, and live her life....LOL! Wewwwwwwww!!
I know I'm way off.....but did I get something from it? I looked up alot of words... LOL!! I didn't know there were such big meanings to simple words out there...LOL!! Lord, I'm having fun....my daughter knew more of these words then I did....how embarrassing...but very proud for her indeed!! By the way? Her meaning of your poem was impressive. I will share in a few.....I want to see what you have to say about it first.....

Thanks Peachy!

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

Great work Peach babe.

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Transmogrification, eh? Reminded me of Calvin and Hobbes! I loved the words you got. But that stapler bit was a real challenge. Don't know if I could have managed.

I really liked the rhythm of this poem. It somehow sounded like a prelude to Traje de Luces (one of my favorite poems of Peach!). In fact, I so enjoyed gettin swept off with the strong rhythm that I'm not going to sully it with and dissection. I think I get withdrawl symptoms if I don't get to read your poems from time to time.

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

You know, I think I could come back to this every day for a month and still find something new that I completely over looked the two dozen other times I rad it. This one was challenging, I'll admit that. I loved, loved, loved the rice parchment stanzas. I learned a new word, aphorism, so thanks to you and Alice. And honestly, I think I'll be back, because I'm not sure its through simmering yet.

And again this is random, but is your home decorated with a particular theme? (I know - WTF! I'm just nosey and curious!)

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

There are many words enshrined that we would rarely use as writers because they are simply too unfathonable - but you have done a brilliant job with them. (Heck, I am not even going to attempt to decipher your poem until I get the dictionary out!)
For some reason I love this verse:
"Shivering on rice parchment so surreal
my triumphant hand writes can you feel?
Garrulous! and rigorously staple it with appeal
to a fragrant cherry blossom tree as a newsreel"
Classy, classy as always!

Posted: Jun 27, 2008

All right Peach - I've read this several times now and every time I see a new meaning in it. There's just so many metaphors that could be interpreted in different ways - and since you write erotica, keeping that in mind there are lines that could interpreted as that, lol.
When I first read this, it just went way over my head. Then I read it again, trying to decipher it... but I confused myself lol and then reading it again - I still don't quite understand it - but I get bits and pieces. You've created a fabulous poem here Peach and you couldn't have used your words more wonderfully.

"Red steepled pagoda hosts a stage of my wishful reaction
knapsack packed with a stapler is my euphoric talisman
Will he so dashingly jump and cut me my breath
by taking a virtuous leap resulting opposite of death"

It's this stanza where the erotica comes to my mind... I don't know if you see it, but come on - "jump and cut me my breath" and "resulting opposite of death"
haha, maybe I have a slightly dirty mind, lol, but when I read that I could see it as being interpreted to mean orgasm. Ha, but like I said - maybe I have a slightly dirty mind lol


The last two lines are brilliant by the way. I absolutely love them. I see it as two lovers taking their relationship to the next level - like marriage because they "jump for it all" which from what I've observed, when you wed someone, you "jump for it all" because you're planning on spending the rest of your life with this person and loving them unconditionally. You're going to have arguements and fights - and there's the risk of getting heartbroken. The fear of "what if" this happens, and he leaves - then you have nothing. So to me its like they are jumping for it all - ready to sacrifice anything and everything for each other because they love each other.

Once again - I thought this was a brilliant and beautiful poem. You did a fantastic job with the challenge!
Keep up the lovely writing Peach! :)

Posted: Jun 28, 2008

Ms Peachy, this is another brain teaser. Haha! :) I've read it at least 5 times since the day you posted it, and I'm just giving you the heads up, that I love it but I want to give you more than that and it's not done simmering just yet! So I will be back with something more! :) ~ Nixie

Posted: Jun 28, 2008

Hi peachy sorry I’m late with this one. I love it by the way. So full of colour, and sent, and sharp images; lot’s of different metaphors and a whole heap of sounds and thoughts and feelings. Just what you’d expect from a forest. Of course it offers a sense of journey, a journey through life, a journey through love, a journey through words, for words are how we interpret life, our feelings, our relationships. It’s also like a metaphor for writing poetry, your poetry, your writing peachy, with images of erotica, romance, cosmos, and all the playfulness and layers which make up your work. “To take the plunge” well that could mean a thousand different things to a thousand different readers. We all followed your paper trail through the forest and took our own leap into the vegetation, but with whom? Haha, I do love this poem, when I read it again I get another image, and another, and so on. Leave a paper trail and someone is bound to follow!

Posted: Jul 1, 2008

Right on! This piece made me feel as if I was sitting in an ultra-bohemian poetry den listening to alchemical prose being recited, sung, and chanted.

Quicksilver dripping in the flaming center of consciousness.

Posted: Jul 1, 2008

Right I'm back, ready to offer you a litle more (though I may be wrong!), first of all the second stanza, and this line "Will he so dashingly jump and cut me my breath" makes me think you're using this jump as a metophor for a step in a relationship. After which you talk as if you're analysing your own feelings, and sneering, scowling and smirking bamboo rich rattan vine? It's as if you're being mocked by your surroundings. Later on you speak of your lover not being there when you need him. The thought of doing something like jumping, alone brings you to tears. AND that's when he turns up proving his love, and finally taking that plunge with you, holding your hand. Wow, there's just so much to take in with this one!

Sorry it took a while, but I still feel as though I could be way off! Though that aside, one hell of a read, where do you come up with these idea's? (It wasn't just the challenge!) ;) Loved it Classy, you always leave me gawking! ~ Nixie

Posted: Jul 6, 2008