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A Child's Adventure

Poem By: tin2twinkling
Fantasy


This was written in the year 2004... I tried the rhyme scheme similar to 'La Belle Dame Sans Merci' by John Keats. I love that poem. =) View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Jul 24, 2008    Reads: 59    Comments: 12    Likes: 6   


Remember once when you were young,
Alone, had walked the forest’s zone?
The tame not heard and wild, unseen
As night chilled the bone.

Remember once, you felt so glad,
Running towards our group of arms,
Hinting on a child’s adventure;
No words about the charms.

I feel thy hand still growing cold,
Yet keeping strong like vines on mine,
Fingers entangled, slowly slips
Last breaths saved as sign. ---

I walked to depths I’ve never known,
Trees tall and dark of mist and dew,
I then met a playful fairy
Charming true, tiny too.

She hopped and hopped and fluttered ‘round,
Then halting still on air’s vast spread,
She smiled at me and led the way
Through the night that bled.

I followed the light that she was
As dew settled, heavy on me;
She weaved through bends and kept going
Humming like a bee.

She brought me to a tree so old,
Its trunk empty as I could see
A crack was on its crooked side,
Where she then ushered me.

I was then in their feasting place
Circles of little floating ones;
Each of them glowed with so much delight,
And so, sang all at once:

“A child, a child, oh such a child!
Let him come and believe and see,
That he is he and we are us,
Oh what fun this will be!”

They laughed and cheered and sprinkled dust,
Lending me to a fairy dance,
But I slept soon as I entered
The chamber, entranced.

I woke up cold and moist with dew,
Lying on some small meadow’s grass;
I stood and saw in front of me
Our yard’s stony pass.

And that’s what happened that young day,
I walked alone the forest’s zone,
With tame not heard and wild unseen,
As night chills my bone.


6

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Comments:

This is a very very beautiful story and well well written poem. It is an accomplishment that you managed to rhyme the entire poem without making it sound forced, but instead it added significantly to the flow as well as the tone of the poem. The imagery was specific and very well done. Overall a great read :D keep up the good work.

Posted: Jul 24, 2008

Author Comment:

hahaha, that was one heck of an obstacle, the rhymes, i mean.. i remember i would have to think so hard to find the right word to use for every line.. i'm just glad it turned out okay. thank you for the wonderful comment, controverse!!! =)

i love it

Posted: Jul 24, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks!! you're so nice with your comments!! i'm glad you loved it!! =)

ahhhh....booksie cut off the rest of the comment ><
darnit!!!!
okay...i said i love how you ended the poem, it was spectacular ^^-

Posted: Jul 24, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks again gigi!!! =)

throughout the poem, i could envision you as the child...
fearless and confident...treading ahead....

He knows GOD will guide and help and nurture him...

I wish I could have never lost my innocence and could trust GOD with everything ....

Posted: Jul 24, 2008

Author Comment:

hahaha i could see myself in it too, which is really weird lol.

innocence.. yeah, sometimes i wish the exact same thing, pratibha, but i like how things are right now so it's all good.. lol. thank you!! =)

This is a brilliant poem, your rhyming was perfect, and the story told in the poem was spectacular. Love it

Posted: Jul 25, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks whitehart!!! i really appreciate it! =)

corujuca
(not registered user)

Good story,excellent poem!

Posted: Jul 25, 2008

Author Comment:

yay! thanks a lot for commenting!!

very inspiring!! (hope i spell that right)
and mostly brilliant!!

Posted: Jul 25, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you so much!! =)

i love it. for some reason it reminded me of peter pan with the fairy's and crap. i love how beautiful it is, and i love how the imagery is so descriptive and so not descriptive all at the same time its awesome! also wats weird is that for some reason as i was reading this the song "what i've done" by linkin park kept playing through my head...anyways ywa i loved it lol

Posted: Jul 26, 2008

Author Comment:

ah, that song is very very cool.. interesting to hear that it was what came to your mind while reading this.. very interesting indeed.. as always, thank you for reading & commenting!!! i'm really glad you loved it =)

love the imagery bits... you've shown the innocent a small kid has, and that childhood is one thing we should cherished till the end:)

Posted: Jul 27, 2008

Author Comment:

yep yep =) childhood should something fun and happy and carefree.. thank you so much for reading!1

whew. this is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooo fantastic. and wonderful and beautiful and ahhh its indescribable!

and uhm. i'm sorry if ... i may not read all of the new poems of urs... school knocks always

Posted: Jul 28, 2008

Author Comment:

aww, thanks! that's okay, i know you guys are at school time now, right? lol thanks again!! =)

Good one! Extremely good, I say!
Meanwhile, please check out my work, which is a short story and two poems.

Posted: Aug 9, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you for reading!!! =)

This is a well written poem! I really liked it.

Posted: Aug 17, 2008

Author Comment:

yay! thank you so much! it was a bit hard to write this one but it seems it turned out pretty well... thanks again for reading!!! =)



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Other writing by tin2twinkling Dreaming* Aurora: Memoirs of a Vampire The Island of The Icarus The Step Sisters White Socks More..



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