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Wilting Rose

Short Story By: Canine
Fantasy


Pain can not be ended but it can be defeated.

I was just having a really bad day and i happen to love naruto and Gaara's my favriout charecter and its just got me to thinking and i came up with this. View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Feb 12, 2008    Reads: 280    Comments: 11    Likes: 4   


Darkness shifted and swirled, spiraled and pulsed. The nightmares of thousands and the terrors of millions floated aimlessly, loosely, dangerously. Flashes of horrors, abominations… sins flashed deep in the depths. Not a hint of good or a dusting of love could be found within the mass.   
          Wrath, Fury, Revenge, Greed, Terror here these things thrived. They found solid ground and they sprouted roots and dug in their hold, tenacious, unbreakable. Their roots groped and dug spreading deeper and farther until they could never be unearthed.
          What originally was, was no more. Corrupted, mutilated, murdered until nothing that could fight, that could uproot the evil could find a handhold in the bulk of death.
          Light glinted off medal as an object was lifted from its resting place and brought to where the light that so conflicted with it could flash off its cold lifeless body.  
          Hands the white of death gripped it in a loose emotionless grip “Pain can be ended.” The voice of death danced through the room, whispering, seducing. The cold metal lightly kissed the warm center of a temple. “Pain can be halted.”
          Slowly, warmth seeped into the darkness, pushed at the fear, ripped at the rage, halted the pain. “Pain cannot be ended,” A voice of light whispered, soothingly. “But it can be defeated.” A hand the color of the rising sun that radiated heat equal to its intensity rested lightly on the gun, warming the once ice cold metal.
          Eyes the black of a nightmare haltingly looked up into the eyes the blue of the sky after a storm. “I have had a hard life.” The man whispered. The women looked down into his eyes, eyes that had never seen warmth, eyes that had never experienced the love of another. “I know,” She whispered. “And you have lived through it and you and keep on living it. Life is worth living and pain is not the only emtion your allowed to feel inside.”
 


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Comments:

That was good...sorry you were having a bad day.

Posted: Feb 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Hmmm most comments are being doubly exepted lately.

That was good...sorry you were having a bad day.

Posted: Feb 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks, and ya but everything gets better over time... besides death i guess.

Grammatically, and I wouldn’t normally say anything but this story is of such a high standard that I am, the last line “your” should be “you’re”. One other thing I would change, and this is pretty small but it jumped out at me, is “farther” I would put “further”. Simply because this isn’t a happy sentence and the “ar” sound jumps right out of it were the “er” sound of further will fit in because it is more subdued and depressed. The rest was great, lots of good descriptive words and I’m glad you brought it to my attention. It was worth the read.

Posted: Mar 1, 2008

Author Comment:

Soeey, i such at grammer. I cant spell (even thou i read and write twenty four seven) but ya i dont know why but i suck at grammer. ;) Thanks for the comment.

I usually don't like Naruto very much, but for Gaara I make an exception. Great work!

Posted: Mar 19, 2008

Author Comment:

;) Thanks

that was really good keep me posted on what u write.
~Blue Moon

Posted: Mar 26, 2008

Author Comment:

k ^-^

I liked the strong imagery adn the depth of feeling in thsi piece. You had a lot of good description that really pulled me into the story. One comment: you misspelled metal in the middle (you typed "medal"). I can't wait until I have time to read some of your longer pieces...

Posted: Apr 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you for reading and thank you for commenting. I'm glad you liked it and one more thak you for pointing out my mistake. If your interested i would suggest you read "She was Elemental" Its my most popular novel. ^-^

I loved it, how you use a wilting rose to express hardship and hate...eh? BUT! (do I see a touch of emo?)

Your's truly...Don Vito Corleone.

Posted: Apr 24, 2008

Author Comment:

LOL! Acually i'm not emo at all but me and my dad got into a fight that day and i was in a really bad mood so, depressing short story.

wow........ that was..... very good (lack of a better word)

Posted: May 21, 2008

Author Comment:

^-^ Thanks i'm glad you liked it

Jade (The Shadow Princess in Hell)
(not registered user)

First, I really like it. Second, Gaara reminds me of this demon boy in hell ( I visit every night) who I love. His life was poisoned by the demon that will forever possess his soul. He still is nice and his eternal pain and suffering should be ended. But I care about him too much to destroy his soul.:(
It's cool and the voices are both right. The light voice is right for average humans. The evil Gaara type voice is right about me and the demon boy (whose name is oddly Gaara) (really) I really liked it anyways. But remember that those days are average to me and to Cam ( my demon bff) they are good days so not everything is bad.

Posted: May 24, 2008

Author Comment:

glad you read it.

OH MY GOD...THIS IS AWESOMESAUCE!
/loved it
c[=
This deserves my awesomesauce dance....FRED FRED BURGER, FRED FRED BURGER, FRED FRED BURGER...YES!
haha
It's some random dance I made up...and I dance it when I really like something.
-Jackie

Posted: Oct 10, 2008

Author Comment:

LOL, god thats great, i have a feeling me and you would be awsome friends if we really knew each other

Oh, and to Von Dito's comment...YAY EMO...NESS
=/
Sorry, I find it humerous when someone gets called "emo" because I did a few things that I'm not totally proud of [however, not ashamed of] that got me stuck with that label since the 5th or 6th grade

Posted: Oct 10, 2008

Author Comment:

i c, im not emo at all. I think the label is retarded anyway. I've been called gothic non stop, i like black but im a very cheary never sad or down kind of person



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