
Random First Lines: Andrea and StephanAndrea: It had been years since I had last laid eyes on him. The last time I saw him was... : Romance » Read
Pain can not be ended but it can be defeated.
I was just having a really bad day and i happen to love naruto and Gaara's my favriout charecter and its just got me to thinking and i came up with this.
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Submitted: Feb 12, 2008 Reads: 280 Comments: 11 Likes: 4
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That was good...sorry you were having a bad day.
Posted: Feb 19, 2008
That was good...sorry you were having a bad day.
Posted: Feb 19, 2008
Grammatically, and I wouldn’t normally say anything but this story is of such a high standard that I am, the last line “your” should be “you’re”. One other thing I would change, and this is pretty small but it jumped out at me, is “farther” I would put “further”. Simply because this isn’t a happy sentence and the “ar” sound jumps right out of it were the “er” sound of further will fit in because it is more subdued and depressed. The rest was great, lots of good descriptive words and I’m glad you brought it to my attention. It was worth the read.
Posted: Mar 1, 2008
I usually don't like Naruto very much, but for Gaara I make an exception. Great work!
Posted: Mar 19, 2008
that was really good keep me posted on what u write.
~Blue Moon
Posted: Mar 26, 2008
I liked the strong imagery adn the depth of feeling in thsi piece. You had a lot of good description that really pulled me into the story. One comment: you misspelled metal in the middle (you typed "medal"). I can't wait until I have time to read some of your longer pieces...
Posted: Apr 24, 2008
I loved it, how you use a wilting rose to express hardship and hate...eh? BUT! (do I see a touch of emo?)
Your's truly...Don Vito Corleone.
Posted: Apr 24, 2008
wow........ that was..... very good (lack of a better word)
Posted: May 21, 2008
First, I really like it. Second, Gaara reminds me of this demon boy in hell ( I visit every night) who I love. His life was poisoned by the demon that will forever possess his soul. He still is nice and his eternal pain and suffering should be ended. But I care about him too much to destroy his soul.:(
It's cool and the voices are both right. The light voice is right for average humans. The evil Gaara type voice is right about me and the demon boy (whose name is oddly Gaara) (really) I really liked it anyways. But remember that those days are average to me and to Cam ( my demon bff) they are good days so not everything is bad.
Posted: May 24, 2008
OH MY GOD...THIS IS AWESOMESAUCE!
/loved it
c[=
This deserves my awesomesauce dance....FRED FRED BURGER, FRED FRED BURGER, FRED FRED BURGER...YES!
haha
It's some random dance I made up...and I dance it when I really like something.
-Jackie
Posted: Oct 10, 2008
Oh, and to Von Dito's comment...YAY EMO...NESS
=/
Sorry, I find it humerous when someone gets called "emo" because I did a few things that I'm not totally proud of [however, not ashamed of] that got me stuck with that label since the 5th or 6th grade
Posted: Oct 10, 2008
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Other writing by Canine Animal Anatomy Burning Black Heart A demons love Angels Betrayel Night Storm The Occupant More..
Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Hate, God, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Friendship.