I open my heavy eyes and welcome myself back into reality. I am kneeling by the side of the river while I hold onto a violet in my right hand. I simultaneously submerge it into the obscure waters of the river which reflects the stars upon the midnight sky above me. I bring the violet out of the water and delicately bring it close to my face. I smell for its pleasant and calming scent as my closed eyes invite me into space. I begin to lose myself. I lift up both of my arms, opening my right hand and releasing the humid violet back into the river. I take a deep breath and release my body into the waters to be washed away along with the pitiful little flower. Oh, if only my problems could be carried away this easily, I wouldn’t need to drown myself with that pretty little violet.

I remember admiring you from a distance, the distance between one side of the water and the other. I would stare at your wings and wondering how you manage to hold onto such perfection. How do you do, that you’re so beautiful? I bring you a flower every time, but I end up watching it being washed away by the waters. My, I wish I could be as beautiful, just as perfect. If I had the strength to fly away, to grow my own wings and find out I’m alive, maybe I wouldn’t be here.

I’m watching you from across the riverside. You haven’t yet noticed but I’ve had my eyes set upon you ever since I realized what you really are. I grab a rock with my left hand and squeeze it tight. I fight myself as I decide whether or not to throw this at you, only this way you will notice I’ve been here all along, watching. I hesitate for a long time until I finally bring my hand down and let go off the rock. I look down into the river and admire the reflection of you. I kneel down and grab the rock again while staring at the figure of you in the water. I get on my feet holding tightly onto the rock and let my eyes go loose onto your reflection. I remember everything. I remember enough to collect the wrath I needed to throw this rock. I threw the rock… at your reflection in the river. Then, you walked away.

Iwalked up to you and offered you a flower, this flower, a wilted violet. I felt your stare upon me but there were no emotions given to me in return. I promised you that if I didn’t grow my own wings and touched the sky, I’d let you throw the violet back in the water to drown along with me.