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A "666" Step Program

Short story By: orynnfireheart

Tags: Fantasy, Humor

What happens when eternal forces are faced with the stagnant reality of their existence. Will they seek change?
Or will they succumb to their own "demons."

Submitted:Jan 1, 2007    Reads: 195    Comments: 6    Likes: 1   

A "666" Step Program

by:� orynnfireheart

���� The powdered doughnuts tasted like ashes in my mouth, the coffee weak and lukewarm.� Wipping my chin with the cheap, one-ply napkins provided, I sat my unwanted snack aside and made my way slowly to the front of the room.� Tugging nervously at the lapels of my tweed jacket, I stepped reluctantly behind the podium and adjusted the microphone to accomodate my considerable height.

���� Five sets of eyes watched my every move and their questioning, expectant stares were almost more than I could bare.� Though we were all here for similiar reasons, I momentarily considered walking right out the door and forgetting about such nonsense.

���� A promise was a promise, however, so I cleared my throat and spoke those nine words of commitement, "Hello, my name is Azrael and I'm a demon."

���� I do not know what I had expected, but the enthusiastic clapping was very reassuring and some of my trepidition vanished.

���� "Hmm, where to begin," I mumbled to myself as I tapped the podium with a well manicured finger.� "I guess I should start at the beginning.� I've plagued mankind since the dawn of time.� I was very good at my work and some of my greater accomplishments are still lauded in most infernal circles.� I was on the fast track to success and most of my hellish associates agreed that the next demonlord vacancy would assuredly be mine.� My ascension was assured after that little medieval exploit commonly referred to as the Black Death."

���� "A few centuries later, with humanity flocking to the newly discovered Americas, I was promoted to my long coveted position.� Let me be the first to tell you, virgin territory is the sweetest and ripest you could possibly imagine.� Revolutions, slavery, and religious persecutions, I'm�particularly proud of the Salem witch trials, I had it all and so much more.� Now you might wonder what could possibly go wrong, but believe me, the expression too much of a good thing is unfortunately true."

���� Eventually, the Americas settled down and the opportunities for real mischief declined.� Oh, there were still a few high points like the Civil War and the oppression of the Native Americans, but the novelty of the situation was fading fast.� It was in the early part of the twentieth century when I finally decided to retire."

���� "My superiors tried to talk me out of it and even trumped up a little excitement, World War I, to try and regain my interest, but I was adamant.� I spent several decades in hell cooling my heels, figuratively speaking, and delighting in the unholy torments."

���� "Unfortunately, even that grew routine.� I decided then to try and stage a comeback, but my heart wasn't really in it.� For twenty years, I dipped my claws into mortal affairs and was only able to foster the Vietnam War and the Challenger incident.� I was also able to corrupt my mortal host, but that was no great task."

���� "Corrupting mortals had become routine and much to my chargrin, I no longer derived any pleasure from it.� It was then I decided to give up my demonic ways and try to live a life free of any morale agenda.� I've had difficulties of course, but I heard of this group and here I am."

���� I sat back down admidst thunderous applause.� I was the first of my exalted rank to try and escape my evil nature.� My example was encouraging and for the next couple of hours, I listened to several variations of my own story.� Suprisingly, I could symphathize with their plights.� It was then I determined to be there when they needed me.� If you could not count on your fellow demons for help, then who could you?

���� My life has settled down into a semi-blissful state.� I attend Demons Anonymous, DA for those who insist upon being trendy, once a week and our little group has nearly doubled in size.� It came as a great shock that there were so many of us disillusioned with the perpetuation of evil.

���� Last night, I manipulated a hapless postal worker to go insane and kill fourteen of his colleagues before turning the gun upon himself.� I guess I am not as far along as I had hoped, but that is okay.� I will take it to the group tonight.� Nobody is perfect and even demons need support.


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