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What a Dragon Must Do

Short Story By: S Thomas Kaza
Fantasy


He was her most favorite teacher ever. He had opened up the world to her and treated her like none other before. But he was still after all a dragon. View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Jul 29, 2008    Reads: 116    Comments: 5    Likes: 1   


What a Dragon Must Do

Copyright 2007 by S. Thomas Kaza

A sharp pain racked the knight’s chest. He coughed up a mixture of bile and blood that burned his throat. He didn’t want to move, but then he caught sight of the dragon not ten yards away, rocking back and forth on its haunches. Green blood oozed from a gash in the dragon’s left paw. Slowly the knight lifted himself off the ground.

Without the help of his squire, who waited just beyond the woods, he could not adjust his helmet which had been knocked askew. So he tore it off and tossed it aside. His long locks fell onto his shoulders. Blood and sweat trickled down his brow and into his eyes. He blinked and searched for something on the ground. He found it, shining in the sun. Clenching his teeth, he reached down and picked up his sword.

“Curse the dwarf that taught men to make steel,” the dragon hissed

The knight pointed the sword at the dragon, “In the name of the king, do you submit?”

The dragon watched the blood dripping from the gash in his paw. It had been a lucky blow. He had been careless and underestimated the knight. He sniffed the air. And unlike the others whom the king sent before with promises of gold, unlike those whose bones lay scattered on the forest floor, this one had not wet himself.

“I submit,” the dragon said, “I do not wish to lose this foot of mine. It has been with me too long.”

“A wise decision,” the knight said nodding and touching the blade of his sword to his forehead, “Now I must banish you from the kingdom.”

“Yes, fine, fine. Get on with it.”

“In the name of the king, you are banished from these lands forever….. never to return on punishment of death.”

“I will be gone before sunset.”

“Very well,” the knight said lowering his sword “now, where is the princess?”

“The princess?”

“Yes, the princess whom you have held hostage these past months.I have sworn an oath to my king that I would return with his daughter or not return at all. Where is she?”

The dragon grinned for the first time since he felt the sting of steel. “You swore an oath to bring her back?”

The knight puffed impatiently. “I will not play games with you. Now where is she?”

The dragon nodded to the dark cave under the cliff nearby. The knight walked over to the cave and peered in. “Princess?” he shouted.

There was no answer

The knight raised his sword again, pointing it at the dragon. “I swear, if you have harmed one hair on her, I will….”

“Here I am,” the Princess said. And she stepped out of the darkness of the cave into the light of day.

The knight expected to find a damsel in distress, bruised and dirty, tears in her eyes. Instead a beautiful, young maiden stepped out of the cave. She wore a simple white dress, tied at the waist. Her long, dark hair fell free and unbound over her bared shoulders. On her head she wore a crown of flowers. The knight’s eyes drifted toward her bosom, but her smile caught his eyes and drew them back to her pretty face.

“I am safe and unharmed,” she said, her soft voice warming him like the evening’s first pint of mead.

The knight did not know what to say. All his training had not prepared him for a moment like this. But he noticed the princess’ bare feet, and his good manners prevailed.

“Princess,” he said kneeling down to remove his own boots, “what has become of your shoes?”

The knight never saw it coming. The blow, a large stone, came swiftly down on his head with a crack. He crumpled to the ground.

“My dear,” the dragon said to the Princess, “your timing was perfect. Are you sure you will not consider a career as a player on a stage?”

The Princess tossed the stone aside. She noticed the trickle of blood running down the side of the knight’s face.

“Oh, my!” she shrieked, “Did I kill him?”

The dragon hobbled over. He bent over the knight and listened.

“No,” he said raising his head, “he is still breathing.”

“Oh, thank god, but we must do something about all this blood.”

Quickly she tore a strip of cloth from her dress. Then gently taking the dragon’s wounded paw in her hands, she began towrap it.

“I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this,” the Princess said, “but I could tell you were hurt. And then all that talk about swearing to my father that he would bring me back. I had to do something.”

Blood had already soaked through the cloth by the time she finished.

“I’ll wrap it once more,” she offered.

“No, no, the bleeding will stop soon enough. Thank you. This should do. But there is something you can do for me.”

“What is it?” the princess asked.

The dragon smiled. What a lovely child! She was almost too willing to please him. How much more melancholy it made the moment.

“Could you go into the cave and gather up my things?” the dragon asked.

The Princess looked at the dragon with sad eyes. “I heard what you said to my father’s knight. You didn’t mean it, did you?”

My dear girl, I came to these lands for a little rest. All I wanted was a quiet cave to curl up in, maybe sleep off a couple of centuries. But these angry men with their code of chivalry and their stories of St. Gregory slaying the dragon will not let me rest. I have had nothing but trouble. And now this,” the dragon said holding up his bandaged paw.

“But where will you go?”

“Perhaps I will pay a visit on my old friend, the Sultan. He at least understands the value of an educated dragon.” But as soon as he had said it, the dragon wished he had not. He noticed the expression on the Princess’s face, and he knew what she was going to ask.

“Take me with you.”

The dragon looked away. He really did not want to consider it. There was, after all, the whole issue of what a dragon must do. He looked back at the Princess, ready to say “no”.

“Oh please, master dragon,” the Princess pleaded, “please.”

“I don’t know,” he said, “Your father would be very angry. They would say I stole you away. They might even try to hunt me down.”

“But we would be a thousand miles away. Besides when did you start to care what my father said?”

The dragon thought for a moment. “Well, you should care what he says. He is your father after all.”

The Princess frowned. “You know as well as I that my father only wants me back to marry me off to some filthy barbarian king to keep his borders safe. Do you want to see that happen to me?”

“Tell him you want to go to university.You have a tongue of your own now.”

The Princess shook her head. “Men go to universities,” she said in a deep voice, imitating her father, “Women stay home. Someone has to take care of the babies.”

The dragon sighed. She was right. A woman could not aspire to her dreams in these dark and dismal northern lands. It might kill the beautiful spirit of the Princess to go back now, especially after he had opened her mind to the world. What had he been thinking? At first he only wanted to teach her a little lesson on geography. That led to lessons on history, literature, logic, and philosophy. He had been concerned the pace was too much for her. But she learned quickly and showed great potential, so he went on with lessons on algebra and geometry.

He realized it would be a horrible waste to lose such a bright, inquisitive mind to ignorance. He knew he could take her if he wanted to, but there was still the issue of what a dragon must do. It would be too dangerous. The dragon looked back at her.

“Please, master dragon,” she begged, “I want to study alongside the daughters of the Sultan in the great library of 10,000 volumes. I want to study what the learned men know about the stars and the planets, the earth and its elements.”

“But the journey will be long and hard,” the dragon countered, “Since I will be flying I will have to eat much more than you have seen me eat up to now. And if I can’t find food, I will become… well, very cranky and maybe even mean.”

The Princess smiled. “I will not complain. Not a word. You will not even know I am there. It will be as if I am just another one of your things.”

The dragon did not for one minute think that the Princess would hold her tongue. But his heart filled with pride for her. What she was willing to risk to learn! He had not had such a student before. He realized he did feel pity for her and how her life might turn out if he sent her back to her father. But there was still the issue of what a dragon must do.

“There will be times when I will leave you alone as I go off to hunt for food.In the mountains it might take many days. But you must wait for me then. It will be cold, and you might not have any food of your own, but you must be patient and endure. Do you understand? I will not hear any complaints from you, or I will bring you back.”

The Princess’s face brightened. “Yes, yes,” she said, “I mean no, no complaints. I will do as you ask. I promise on the holy book. I promise…”

“Alright,” the dragon said, “I will take you with me.”

The Princess rushed forward and threw herself at the dragon. He lifted his bandaged paw out of the way just in time.

“Thank you! Thank you!” she said and suddenly began to cry.

“What is the matter, dear?” the dragon asked, patting her on the back with his good paw.

“I didn’t think you wanted to take me,” she sobbed and buried her face in the dragon. It took her a moment to regain her composure, then she looked up at him through teary eyes. “I will make you proud, master dragon. I will read all of the books in the Sultan’s library, all of the classics. And when I am done, I will sit down and write an epic poem in your honor. Through it men the world over will know of your goodness and your wisdom. They will no longer hunt you for they will see you as I do. Then kings and lords will seek out your advice and pay you for it with bags of gold!”

“My, my,” the dragon said, feeling tears welling up in his own eyes, “that would be quite a treat indeed. But we can discuss all of this later. Now you must hurry. Run along and gather my things and yours from the cave. We must be gone before sunset.”

The princess smiled and nodded. She turned and skipped back into the cave, humming a tune.

Alone now, the dragon sighed. There was still the matter of what a dragon must do. The journey would be long. He would need the strength to carry not only his own things, but the Princess and her things as well. He had grown lean since coming to these northern lands. A dragon living in a cave did not need much to survive, maybe a wild boar or a sheep now and then. But a flying dragon was a different story. No pork. No mutton. This time he needed a real meal.

His eyes narrowed into two long slits. He looked at the knight lying unconscious in front of him and licked his lips. It would be easy. But the knight had bested him in battle. And if a dragon didn’t have his honor, what did he have? No. He lifted his head and sniffed the air. A gentle breeze blew in from the west. What was that? He sniffed again. Of course, why hadn’t he thought of that? A knight must have his squire. And there was one waiting just beyond the woods. After all, a dragon must do what a dragon must do. He turned and slithered off into the woods.


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Comments:

This is a clever piece of writing. Entertaining, surprising and the writing flows well. I'm not a fan of fantasy but, thankfully, this was a big slice of fantasy-lite. Enjoyable. I will be reading more of your writing when I have time.

I think this story could be stronger if you limited your use of 'was'and 'had', it stops forward motion of your storyline. Use active words, especially in the beginning when readers make the decision to continue with the story or move on. I almost clicked past it and would have missed what turned out to be a clever piece of writing. Also, look at adjectives and adverbs to determine if they can be replaced with nouns or verbs. It creates a more specific image than relying on an adjective or adverb to do the work for you. Especially in your opening.

You wrote:
"The armored knight slowly got up from the ground. There was a sharp pain in his chest. It felt like a couple of his ribs were broken. Grimacing he reached down and picked up his sword. The dragon was sitting on its haunches not ten yards away, rocking back and forth. Dark, red blood oozed from a gash in its left paw, which it cradled in its right."

Maybe rewrite it something like (it's not the best but only used for an example):

The armored knight tightened his fist and pressed it against the sharp pain in his chest. He reached down for his sword and caught his breath. His ribcage burned when he moved but he grit his teeth and forced his body to bend. The dragon, on its haunches not ten yards away, rocked back and forth. Dark blood oozed from its gashed left paw.

Something like that incorporates more 'show' than 'tell' and doesn't slow the storyline with passive verbs. The story moves along and the reader wonders what will happen next (instead of being told by the narrator what has happened in the past). It involves the reader in the story.

Wish I had more time but I have to go now. I hope you understand what I am saying. The story is wonderful but it could be strengthened by more 'showing' and use of active verbs. Best of luck to you. Keep writing. I'll read more of yours.





Posted: Aug 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for your comments and advice. Other people have told me the same thing, but their explanations were not as clear. Now I understand what they were getting at.

Also reading your rewrite and seeing how it improves the story, I almost want to ask you to rewrite the whole story. It would certainly make reading the piece more enjoyable. But then I would not improve my craft.

Thanks again. I look forward to hearing more from you.

I'm glad it helped. I know how it feels to hear the same thing repeated and not quite understand what the heck it means. It took me a long time to grasp the 'show not tell' concept. One day I read something online that explained how to 'show' when writing and for some reason the one-sentence example in that article made it clear to me.

Once you step across that barrier you look at your writing in a different way. It's the difference between writing for yourself and writing for a reader. It's the beginning of taking writing seriously. Showing not telling is hard work. Understanding the concept is one thing, putting it into practice is not easy to do. I have a greater appreciation of how difficult it is to write.

Even the short example I left for you has a huge flaw in it. I was so intent on showing the knight's pain that I'd forgotten he's armored. So in my example I should have let the reader hear the clink when his fist or gloved hand struck his chest and instead of pressing his chest in pain he should be holding his fist over the spot where it hurts since his armor covers his chest.

Oh well, so the rewrite begins.

I've been rewriting a short story now that I better understand technique. I had to throw most of the writing out the window, leave in the concept, and rewrite my heart out. Not fun. I also have a better appreciation of the saying 'ignorance is bliss'.

*sigh*

Posted: Aug 4, 2008

I went over this story with the excellent comments from lovechild in mind. I hunted for "was", "were", "had", and "have". In each case, I tried to see if there was a better way to show what I wanted to say with more active words. In some cases, I left the sentence as it was. In other cases, I rewrote the whole sentence and the whole paragraph as well. I hope you appreciate the changes I made.

Posted: Aug 15, 2008

Absolutely delightful! This story is filled with charm and wit and, I think, improved with your recent rewrite. I love the ideas embedded in the tale along with your dragon as protagonist and what a protagonist he is! An intelligent beast that quips humor and thinks how great it would be to just take a nap for a century or two. And then he has this princess with her newly-educated mind who wants to tag along. I love your dragon character. He's like a mix between the Tin Man after getting his heart and the grumpy messy guy from the Odd Couple. Entertaining, interesting, and a character readers can relate to on an emotional level. Love it.

And the princess character is shaping up like a sister to the one portrayed on the first Star Wars movie. A nice complement to the dragon.

There are a few areas I'd like to bring up for review, and I'll come back to give you my thoughts. Until that time I have these suggestions:

Format the story so that it's not lumped as one text. It's harder to read that way. It may take some time to go through and add a space between paragraphs but I think you'll get more readers if you re-space it.

The dialogue in the beginning is great but I don't think you need to tag each line. He said. She said, etc. It takes away from the dialogue. We know there are only two people in the conversation. The said tags are overused.

Anyway, nice job! Great story. I'll be back to comment more. Wish I could give this another I Liked It! because I can't tell you enough how much I enjoyed this.

Posted: Aug 29, 2008

Author Comment:

Note- I failed to reply directly to your comments when they were made, but I did not fail to take your advice to heart. I did reformat the story and remove several of the tag lines that I felt were unnecessary. Along with some others who have left their comments, I have made a checklist of items to review before finalizing my stories. I feel this has been really helpful. Thanks again.

Hi, S Thomas Kaza. Well, the weekend has gotten away from me so I'll have to return later this week. Just wanted to mention, have you seen 'Jane and the Dragon' on Qubo, Ion Television? CH 65-2 Digital. Anyway, it's a nice animated dragon adventure. Thought you'd enjoy it. It's not like your story but it shows the potential your story has to be used in another media. I think your story could be adapted from its short story fiction form after it's finalized in fiction format.

Have to go. My keyboard needs a battery change, it takes at least 20 seconds to type at least three letters and it's driving me crazy!

I'll be back. Take care.

Posted: Oct 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Yes, I have seen "Jane and the Dragon". As you mentioned it is a really nice, animated dragon adventure. My kids are intrigued by it. In fact, when I first told my kids that I was writing a story about a princess and a dragon, they said "you mean like that one show on t.v.?"

Thanks also for your comments about using this story in another media. I have also thought that if one is serious about being a writer these days, then they cannot ignore these other opportunities. Though I have not yet tried to sell into any other market beyond the print and on-line media.

About your keyboard problem, it can be a real hassle when you have some kind of computer problem, since we do so much now by computers. Some times I will just take a pen and paper and work on a story this way. It is slower, but it provides a nice change of pace.



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