Random First Lines: She looks quite sad,The girl in the coffee shop,Hank thought,Having bought a cappuccino,Sat and gazed,Watching... : Poetry » Read

Welcome Visitor: Login to the siteJoin the site


Now and again I love the challenge of "writing" a story in just fifty words (true flash fiction!)
I hope the reader enjoys this one! View table of contents...

 

Submitted: May 11, 2008    Reads: 65    Comments: 10    Likes: 7   


He kissed our baby daughter, sat our son upon his knee, "I'm off to see the world," he told us.

Meanwhile my son became a doctor, my daughter produced darling granddaughters...

One day he returned, satiated, seeking companionship.

"I've been waiting," I murmured...

"now I'm off to see the world."


7

Email this story Email this story | Print Story Print Story | Add to reading list

Comments:

what is the wife's fault?
So sad...
Anna, this one indeed brought tears in my eyes.....

Posted: May 11, 2008

Author Comment:

sorry, responded under story.

Prathibha I think I was being a bit tongue in cheek - you do hear of men and women who feel "tied down" and simply leave all their responsibilities behind. Then when they get all the restlessnes out of their system they want to return to their "old love" for companionship. This women only waited with bated breath for his return to tell him to "go jump".

Posted: May 11, 2008

Irwin
(not registered user)

Good write Anna with a nice twist.

Posted: May 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Irwin, always kindly reading and commenting with a little advice when needed (still recall the comment about colour highlights and I agreed!)

Hey Anna ^_^
this is short but says alot!
Very good twist in the end, good for her! ^_^

Posted: May 12, 2008

Author Comment:

50 words only air, that is the challenge (a whole story in 50 words is not easy!)Thanks for reading.

Anna wow! I've known and had a Love who did this. When he decided (after 8yrs)he wanted to come back? I didn't want him back, and I kept fulfilling my responsibilities, day after day. Were not suppose to run from our responsibilities we take them head on, until our work is done. You can't just walk away and expect everything to be the same as when you left. I can understand if your an idiot, but there's no excuse for stupidity. Excuse the bluntness.......I really liked this, as it hit home with me in alot of ways. Thank you for sharing such a well written piece.

Posted: May 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks so much Kred, fortunately has not been my experience but I'm sure other people may relate.

Yes, this is a polished 50. Very well done AT!

Seek out Richard Elliot on here, he is brilliant with flash 101's.

I applaud you, this is very hard to do!!!

Posted: May 13, 2008

Author Comment:

Sorry CP, I thought I had already responded to your comment (blame booksie!) I will seek our RE, thanks so much.

Simple and short , but large in aknowledge.

Posted: May 14, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Jborrti, sweet revenge for the one who waited (with secret knowledge?)

Definitely sweet revenge.
Good for her.
How amazing that you can write a story that speaks volumes in 50 words or less.
MA

Posted: May 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Mamberconrad it is a good challenge to do this. I'm glad my story captured you.

Wow . . . a double twist. A wonderful piece of flash fiction. My hat is off to you.

Posted: Jun 10, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks so much Tarot - I love flash fiction, not only the challenge but it can also be entertaining for the reader if written well enough.

Wow, that hit me in the stomach.

You said short story and you meant it. It was short and it was a story, a sad one too. Even though it was short, he left for a long time, and missed alot and then was alone. That's the funny thing about time, it goes by to quick and if you stop to smell the roses...well, you end up like him.

It's like one of my favorite sayings; If you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tommorrow then you end up (#%*@*%) all over today.

Do I make any sense? Sorry if I don't.

By the way what is Flash Fiction. Ted

Posted: Jun 28, 2008

Author Comment:

Ted Flash Fiction is just that, a story with limited words, hence it is read in a flash I guess! (I have seen shorter, read some longer. Nixie has some good "flash fiction" longer than this example) However although the story is short, the content should still make the reader think a little and feel they have read something worthwhile. Thanks for reading.



Add Your Comments:

Your Name:

Spam protection control::

© Copyright 2008 Anna Therese All rights reserved. Anna Therese has granted theNextBigWriter, LLC non-exclusive rights to display this work on Booksie.com.

Add to Reading List
Become a fan
Email this story Email this story
Read/Write Reviews Read/Write Reviews
Print Story Print Story



Other writing by Anna Therese MOTHER BEWARE NO EXIT GOING HOME FROST POET INNOVATOR More..



Tags

Love, Poetry, Life, Death, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Horror, Hate, God, War, Sadness, Humor, Loss, Hurt, Dark, Depression, Fiction, Friendship, Heart, Family.

About | News | Contact | Your Account | TheNextBigWriter | Advertise

© 2008 TheNextBigWriter, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Policy.