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Now and again I love the challenge of "writing" a story in just fifty words (true flash fiction!)
I hope the reader enjoys this one!
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Submitted: May 11, 2008 Reads: 65 Comments: 10 Likes: 7
He kissed our baby daughter, sat our son upon his knee, "I'm off to see the world," he told us.
Meanwhile my son became a doctor, my daughter produced darling granddaughters...
One day he returned, satiated, seeking companionship.
"I've been waiting," I murmured...
"now I'm off to see the world."
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what is the wife's fault?
So sad...
Anna, this one indeed brought tears in my eyes.....
Posted: May 11, 2008
Prathibha I think I was being a bit tongue in cheek - you do hear of men and women who feel "tied down" and simply leave all their responsibilities behind. Then when they get all the restlessnes out of their system they want to return to their "old love" for companionship. This women only waited with bated breath for his return to tell him to "go jump".
Posted: May 11, 2008
Good write Anna with a nice twist.
Posted: May 11, 2008
Hey Anna ^_^
this is short but says alot!
Very good twist in the end, good for her! ^_^
Posted: May 12, 2008
Anna wow! I've known and had a Love who did this. When he decided (after 8yrs)he wanted to come back? I didn't want him back, and I kept fulfilling my responsibilities, day after day. Were not suppose to run from our responsibilities we take them head on, until our work is done. You can't just walk away and expect everything to be the same as when you left. I can understand if your an idiot, but there's no excuse for stupidity. Excuse the bluntness.......I really liked this, as it hit home with me in alot of ways. Thank you for sharing such a well written piece.
Posted: May 12, 2008
Yes, this is a polished 50. Very well done AT!
Seek out Richard Elliot on here, he is brilliant with flash 101's.
I applaud you, this is very hard to do!!!
Posted: May 13, 2008
Simple and short , but large in aknowledge.
Posted: May 14, 2008
Definitely sweet revenge.
Good for her.
How amazing that you can write a story that speaks volumes in 50 words or less.
MA
Posted: May 20, 2008
Wow . . . a double twist. A wonderful piece of flash fiction. My hat is off to you.
Posted: Jun 10, 2008
Wow, that hit me in the stomach.
You said short story and you meant it. It was short and it was a story, a sad one too. Even though it was short, he left for a long time, and missed alot and then was alone. That's the funny thing about time, it goes by to quick and if you stop to smell the roses...well, you end up like him.
It's like one of my favorite sayings; If you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tommorrow then you end up (#%*@*%) all over today.
Do I make any sense? Sorry if I don't.
By the way what is Flash Fiction. Ted
Posted: Jun 28, 2008
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