Sacrifices
Copyright Christopher Slater
Sherry was loved by many, but she gave her love to only one. Fortune did not allow me to be that one. Many nights I lay awake in bed, imagining the life that I could make with her. Every time I came in from a mission she would be waiting there, smiling. She would greet me with a kiss that would seem to last forever. Every night I would lose myself in the love I felt while staring at her peaceful face. I always fell asleep fantasizing about these things. My dreams would make the fantasies a reality, but only while I slept. Every morning, when I woke up, I reached for someone that would never be beside me.
She is marrying Marcus tomorrow. Why Marcus? He and I are almost exactly alike. We dress the same, act the same, and are as close to twins as two friends can get. Why him and not me? I am certain that the Fates are having a good time playing with this one. Every day my wingman and I soar into the skies, ready to sacrifice our life to save the other. Every day, we land. As our wheels touch the ground, the adrenaline wears off, and depression always follows. But Marcus, my best friend, the man that I entrust my life to, has the most wonderful woman in the world to go home to, to help him through that depression. I go home to the company of the television and my goldfish. How many times have they invited me over? Why do I keep turning them down? I would love to see Sherry laugh and smile. Why don’t I ever join them? Is s because she would be smiling and laughing with someone other than me?
I have to get into my dress uniform. Marcus asked me to be his Best Man. I knew that he would. After all, we are best friends. We share everything, including a love for Sherry. Would he hate me if he knew how I felt? No. He is too good of a person for that. Am I? Do I hate him? Sherry would be mine if it weren’t for him. No. I can’t hate Marcus. It isn’t his fault. It isn’t Sherry’s either. It’s my fault, for being who I am.
I can’t believe that I am doing this. I’m standing at an altar calmly with a false smile on my face while my best friend and the woman I love exchange vows. This whole wedding has been a strain. How many times have I held my tongue to keep from calling Sherry’s name? How many times have I bit my lip to keep from crying? Sherry’s Maid of Honor gave me a shy smile earlier, but I couldn’t return it. The chaplain just asked if anyone objects to this marriage. I do! I do with all of my being! I almost wish I could say it out loud.
Sherry has asked me to dance. She won’t hold me close. I guess that is a good thing. I don’t think that I could let go of her if she did. Oh my God! I can’t believe what I just heard! She just told me that she always loved me. Why didn’t you ever tell me, Sherry? Why did you marry Marcus? Your best friend is in love with me? You couldn’t bare to see her suffer? But what about you? Why should you suffer? You really made that sacrifice for your friend? But why Marcus? He reminds you of me?
She has a tear in her eye. A tear in her eye, but a smile on her face. That smile. There is not a man on this planet that could resist that smile. The song is over. Sherry just went back to her newlywed husband. My best friend. My worst enemy. The man with whom I share the sky and the one to whom I have sacrificed my world.
Sherry’s best friend is by herself. She has no one to dance with. I ask her to dance. She has a beautiful smile. I can see her love for me in her eyes, but I can’t even remember her name. I wish I could return that love. I know that I will marry this lady. I know that I will because I know what it is to not have the one that you love. I could never make another person go through that. I will marry her for that reason. I can already hear myself saying “I do.” That’s what my voice will say, but my heart will repeat something different. I love you, Sherry.
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