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More Than A Video Game? More Than Just A Simple Visit?
What Does My Name Means? What Has Happened To Me?


Submitted:Apr 27, 2014    Reads: 12    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


Let me tell you a story, a story that changed my life

It all began when I got my first PC, Windows XP...

My dad sent me a DVD 2-3 days after I've got this PC.

On the back of that DVD...there was like a long list of games, never seen such names before.

I put that disk in my PC.

I click on "My Computer" icon

The disk was named F:/ something like that...

I open it, nothing inside...

I look at Disk Information, the size was "?"....just an interrogation point...

Later in the day I shutdown my PC because I was bored, nothing to do with it.

And when it Shutdowns, I see a strange kind of image as a shutdown screen, just like his one http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131101183256/halo/images/3/34/Halo_array_ark.jpg....

I remember I was excited. A lot.

PC Won't shutdown.
PC Won't shutdown, so cut electricity.
I was getting mad without reason...just at that image...
Then, PC finally shutdowns. Thanks God.
I start it back again
I remember that, I stare at the loading screen for some time then
I hear Windows XP's starting theme sound
On my desktop I had 3 files
"My Computer", "My Documents" and "Halo : Trial"
.....
I start Halo : Trial of course
"-How the fuck did that got there?" "-I have so many things to learn..." I remember I was telling myself that.

Just when I run "Halo:Trial" from my Desktop,

They ask you for your Gamertag.
"-What is that?"..."-Ohhh! They must be asking for my name certainly"

I type "alex",
I click Enter,
I click on my profile settings,
Then I see on the bottom right of my screen,
"ForerunnerX1"
I never changed it...
I was like "-What the hell..."
And yet...

It's nothing compared to what I'm going to feel in the next days...

Later On The Week...


I finish Halo:Trial campaign
During the game, Cortana (a game character) says the word "Forerunner"
"Woah! It actually reads my name..."

Later that day...

Mom & Sister went outside....alone at home, again...
I was in my bathroom, done my shower and I was about to open the door to quit my bathroom...
But then, a voice along with .....some blue light under my bathroom's door, like...the colour was living...

I don't know how to describe it...

And I'm not really sure if it was blue....or if there was any sort of color...
I was seeing that light under my door...that's for sure
I wasn't scared, not at all
The voice sounded familiar, like I knew her all my life.
It was a girl voice, not too pitchy, neither too deep, around 8-12 years old or....

I don't really remember to be sincerely, it sounded like we had the same age.

She was
There,
Just behind that door,
Telling me
"Fore Runner X One"
Then she repeats really fast
"ForerunnerXOne"
"ForerunnerXOne"
She had, this kind of American accent
I wasn't scared at all ...
Infarct I felt like, I've heard her before,
Like, listening to her every night before I go sleep,
Like, I always lived with her, it was not the first time..
It couldn't be my sister, she had a different voice
But
Still, it...
..It was really strange
It was more like...the voice of the girl I love the most...
And I was not loving anyone at that moment.
Not even had a crush.
So....really hard to describe

....
It was like, hearing...the girl you love the most...calling your name, calling just you...I don't know how to describe it...
I touch the door...I put my left ear and listen,
I can feel her, on the other side...
My love...I felt like, I loved her...love her so damn much ..
I wanted to know, how she got in my house, how does she knows about Forerunner, does she spies me?
"....what the hell...how does she knows about that?"

But instead of that... I gently ask "What's your name?"
She answers me, with a cute, really cute and warm voice,
"-Rose"
At that moment, my mind is flooded with images...moments...I remember things I've lived but...never happened,

I can't explain...

Along with déjà-vu feelings, I start to feel really strange, I start shaking
I don't scream through...
I can't even think, my brain freezes, just those four walls are killing me, just this room...
And knowing that she's on the other side of the door, Jesus...
The only things that comes in my mind is, questions...

"-What if my parents get back home...Oh my god..."

"-They will have a heart attack..."

"-Or what if I'm crazy?"

"Should I tell them if she disappears?"

Stuck between decisions...

"Should I act like there has nothing happened?"

"I think I have problems...."


I still remember that when I heard "Rose" I got some images in my mind that I've never seen before
I'm pretty sure, she was the one that was flooding my mind...
I see...flowers
A red flower, like zoomed in on the top, in a garden and in background some white...flying structures...hard to explain
Then I see a shadow next to a door, that door looked like mine, it was my door.
I see a girl with long black hair, she's laying on the door, she's so pretty...

I see two shadows, laying on the grass under a tree, so classic...yet beautiful
Right now, I feel like I miss her...
But on the other side I feel like it never really existed...
Like I never, really been through that
And yet...
I remember them...
I remember her voice...
I remember the images...
But....Rose...
I remember that ,
We had a conversation.
I'm sure it was funny through...she was laughing and I see myself smiling there...
I wouldn't laugh if it wasn't funny...
Except if I'm crazy...maybe mental problems...
The laugh you never see to anyone else...cute and beautifull...warm and...just amazing


Some Time Later, 5-6 Months After Rose Inccident

I never told to my parents what happened that day...they wouldn't belive me anyway, I was like 10...or 11
But a night, it was really Rainy and I got back on Halo:Trial, I've found Multiplayer option that day...

Where you play Online against other players, I was so excited !

They asked me for my gamertag, once again....
I put in the box, "Rose"
I joined a server then I see, ingame
"ForerunnerX1 has joined the action."
My name was "ForerunnerX1".......
I never changed it...
It was supposed to be "Rose"...

Since that day...
During a storm....or Rainy days..

I want to get outside..

One day my Mom wouldn't let me outside, it was really rainy that day
And still, I went outside...
My mom was asking "-For Christ's Sake ! Why do you want to get outside for!? It rains!"
I told her "-Play with friends, and run..." and always finding new excuses.
The thing is...
I didn't wanted to get outside, to play with friends...
I wanted to walk in the Rain...
To feel the Rain...
To be less sad about something I will never know...
But inside me, I'm more looking for someone...
During my lonely walks in the Rain, I think at Rose...

Later On The Same Day

That day, I thought that was the first moment where I felt something was out of place...
Something was missing...
Something I thought existed wasn't there anymore...
It's definitely something, but...
I don't know what it is...
Something felt off, as if this world is not real.
Like it was fake.
There was an uneasy feeling that something was manipulating my memory...
At the same time, I wondered if it was all just a delusion...and feared I'm going crazy, once again
A restless urge to recall...And the temptation to forget everything to achieve peace of mind were clashing constantly...

My inside was calling for Help..
Two Worlds....fighting each other...and I'm on the middle of the Battlefield...
I can't describe it...

But a clue emerged... days ago, so I decided to write this story...my story

"ForerunnerX1"
I'm using that username for everything since that day...
I don't remember myself...Typing in that box "ForerunnerX1" I just wouldn't type that, I couldn't press SHIFT+X/F,

Since my Shift key was broken...

And I didn't know how Caps Lock Button works that day...I've discovered it years later...
Me, back in Halo:Trial at that days, typing "ForerunnerX1" in the Gamertag box? Nah...
It, wouldn't work!
Just no! It wouldn't work!
I don't know anything about my name...just slight memories from that day...
Does that means...Rose was real?


Should I act like everyone said, think that she never existed?...
Tell myself it was only a dream? Or a Nightmare?
Remembering something that no one else can...
You can't talk to anyone about it... No one will understand you...
You'll be alone...

Rose, even if you're not on this world...I've learned that...
Even if there's no trace of you here...
People's feelings will still cross world lines...
Love, can bypass distance itself, divided by zero...

」 「





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