I landed in the United States on a student visa, later got a job and then a green card to permanently live in US, then became an American citizen, got married to a woman from my own clan from my old country. I am originally a refugee from my native land where we were persecuted for our religious believes, so our clan migrated to a neighboring country. There we became a prosperous business class and yet hate the locals as savages and idol worshippers particularly those from the south as darkies and ugly, but smart.
I work at a corporate office of a large company and travel across the country on a regular basis. I have a company credit card to cover my travel expenses. I wish I could eat rich food and drink on company money like my colleagues at trendy restaurants but I can’t because of my poor stomach, I throw up if I sip scotch and eat filet mignon , so I settle for salad and soup, poor me.
I am a control freak, I don’t want any assistant, I am afraid he may take my job but then our company expanded to a point I was forced to hire an assistant. The new assistant was like me, an immigrant but highly qualified and was super smart, that’s the problem I was faced with.
For the first six months after I was forced to employ my assistant, I gave no projects to him. He came everyday and read old files and some correspondence. I thought he will fed up, get bored and leave the job on his own, so nobody would blame me. But then, the fellow never got bored, he came every day right on time, as matter of fact, he was the first to come to work, rain or shine; even in a blizzard, he came right on time when most of the staff of over 80 people came late and some never showed up.
I heard rumors in the office that I was keeping my assistant idle intentionally, so I started giving him tough assignments to manage. He was meticulous and thorough; he accomplished all and asked for more work. But then, it occurred to me that I could benefit from his hard work. I took credit from his work, keeping him in the dark. When it time for annual evaluation, I gave him high marks but gave a small annual increment, if any. After several years of donkey work at low pay, somehow, he came to know that he was the least paid employee in the office. To my surprise, one day he confronted me for a raise. I played safe and gave him a big raise though well below the going market rate for his position. I just don’t want him succeed. I kept him away from my bosses so that they may not recognize his abilities. I made a six figure salary and a large bonus check every year. I made a million from my stock options but my assistant was not even aware of stock options and I didn’t tell him.
I want my two children to go to medical school, that’s a sure shot for good living for them. I don’t want them like me, being a yes-man and a suck up.
I have to constantly watch my assistant so that he won’t come to lime light and yet at the same time I have to impress my bosses to get myself promoted. This act was consuming me and killing me from inside, I have a poor stomach. My stomach is only good in producing excess acid though my temperament is caustic.
Irrespective of the final outcome, I am a “yes-man” to the company boss and the board of directors. I allowed projects knowingly that violated regulations. But then, when hell broke loose, all those bosses whose ass I kissed for years tried to screw me. I was lucky I did not go to jail and got off easy on technicality. My assistant, if he wants, could have testified what he knew truthfully in the court, that could have send me for good with handcuffs. But, he didn’t, with all the injustice I inflicted on him, he was kind. Am I indebted to him? Hell no. What if my children would have a boss like me? I don’t think about it.
Who am I? For my parents, I am a proud son. For my wife, I am loving, affectionate and kind. For my children, I am a great dad. For my neighbors, I am helpful and friendly. For my friends, I am loyal and great to hang out with. For my coworkers, I am fun to work with. For my boss, I am a dependable and good worker. For my fellow church goers, I am god fearing, spiritual and generous. But I know who I am. Do I have a sense of decency and fairness, hell no. Does any law of land can curb my personal behavior when it comes to fairness, not in a million years; I rationalize everything in the name of survival and personal prosperity. So, really who I am then? I am a mean son of a bitch or call me a sleaze bag or even better call me an asshole.
I am grateful to my broker who got this cushy job at the corporate office; after all I know I was unqualified for the job. To my pleasant surprise, my bosses were idiots. I couldn’t do without my assistant. He managed the entire department and all the problems single handedly. But, then I have to bring on-board a consulting company to overhaul the system, needless it may be, that’s how I paid my gratitude to my old friends.
It was almost three years now on the job. Am I lucky or what, the president of the company and the board of directors were ignorant when it come to science. It was not what I know whom I know that matters. I don’t need my assistant anymore. It was a constant embarrassment when plant managers call him for solution rather than I, after all I am the boss. My new policy was to allow local managers to do their own thing in the name of self reliance and let them outsource the work rather than using in-house talent. That’s how I marginalized my assistant. I told my assistant that he stayed in his job too long.
When my boss asked about my assistant, I said I don’t need him anymore. Theoretically, he is doing an excellent job; I heard no complaints from 80 odd mangers across the country; in fact they loved him. I have seen correspondence from various State and Federal agencies commending his work.
When time came, I told my assistant that the decision came from the top to let go him. When I told this, I expected that he will get upset and confront me with many questions. For example, he was proactive in implementing all the compliance rules for every plant in the country for several years; the company received letters of acclamation for compliance from outside agencies; rather than outsourcing the work, he did all the work to save money for the company; more importantly he helped me to get a grip for the first few years on my job.
I was uncomfortable with my assistant, he was not my kind. Sure he was working for 15 years in the company and I came just three years ago. And yet, he was different and an outsider for me. He will be an outsider forever. If he was born in this country, I couldn’t touch him, what basis I have to let him go. In 100 year history of the company how many people at corporate office, how many general or plant managers were fired without a genuine reason? The people that were fired were good for nothing that got the job through backdoor or just fall guys. But again, at the company there were no checks and balances to verify my decisions. I have a free hand; I can do whatever I want, nobody above me has a clue. When he heard my decision, he appeared calm and walked away quietly just like that. Immediately, I shared this good news with my close buddies’ at the corporate. I felt relieved as if a ton of weight was lifted from my shoulders. Now nobody can second guess my work. I let the outside consultants to run the show. I am digging in here for a long haul perhaps next 20 years or so. If I am lucky, until I kick the bucket.
Who am I?, For my parents, I am a proud son. For my wife, I am loving, affectionate and kind. For my children, I am a great dad. For my neighbors, I am helpful and friendly. For my friends, I am loyal and great to hang out with. For my coworkers, I am fun to work with. For my boss, I am a dependable and good worker. For my fellow church goers, I am god fearing, spiritual and generous. But I know who I am. Do I have a sense of decency and fairness, hell no. Does any law of land can curb my personal behavior when it comes to fairness, not in a million years; I rationalize everything in the name of survival and personal prosperity. So, really who I am then? I am a mean son of a bitch or call me a sleaze bag or even better call me an asshole.