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Lessons On How To Get Rid Of A Blind Date

Short story By: Kyle Georgie Frydenlund
Flash fiction



For a contest


Submitted:Jul 27, 2012    Reads: 18    Comments: 1    Likes: 0   


Hello class. I am your professor and my name is Mr. Clutch. We have a lot of work to get done in a short amount of time. So, here we go.

#1. Guard your plate with your fork and knife and eye your date carefully.

I will give you an example class. Hold the fork in one hand and the knife in the other. Then give them this look that says "I am watching you." That will freak out your date.

#2. If you have a runny nose wipe the snot from your nose onto your date's sleve. Do this as much as you can.

This will gross out your date. Keep in mind that you may get slapped or punched if you do this.

#3. Repeat every third third word you say say.

This will make your date wonder if you have a stuttering problem. They will question if you are alright.

This one is for all you students who like to read the news paper or magazines.

#4. Ignore your date the whole time by reading a news paper or magazine.

Do not pay attention to your date at all. This will make your date pissed off and make them walk way from the date.

This one is one of my favorites class!

#5. Pretend you have a major twitch. If you are asked about the twitch pretend you have no idea what they are even talking about.

This will confuse your date for sure. They will probably think you have issues and awkwardly finish the date.

This one is for all the ladies out there!

#6. Howl and wistle at every female leg you see.

This will make your date wonder if you think they are a female.

#7. Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter/hostess and ask for another table in a different part of the restaurant. Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask him/her "What in the hell took you so long in the restroom?!?"

This will probably make your date angry and if Lady Luck is on your side maybe your date will walk away from your table. If you are really lucky maybe he or she will pay the first meal for you!

#8. Bring baby dolls with you on your date and feed them like they are real.

This will make your date question your sanity and it will make them feel really awkward about being with you.

#9. Forget your wallet in the car. Then try and auction off your date for money for the bill.

This will make your date angry and tell you that they are not some piece of meat that you can sell.

#10. Half way through the date tell your date that you figured out the names for your future kids.

This will make your date think that you are so obsessive that they do not even want to be with you. They will probably get so weirded out that they will leave you at the table.

These are your sure fire ways of getting rid of your blind date.





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