oil lover

7/1/05 'OIL LOVER'

FOR THOSE INTERESTED---AND SINCE OTIS HAS BEEN TELLING SO MANY STORIES ABOUT HIS OLD TIN BARN---YOU MIGHT CALL THIS BARN A 'POWDER HOUSE' BECAUSE THIS IS WERE OTIS STORES HIS GASOLINE FOR HIS LAWNMOWERS AND HIS OIL FOR HIS TRUCK AND AUTOMOBILE SEDAN--& LAWNMOWERS--THE BARN IS A GOOD 50 FEET FROM HIS HOUSE--

OTIS HAS BEEN TOLD HE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CHANGES HIS OWN OIL NOW-A-DAYS--A JOKE OF COURSE--THESE QUICK OIL CHANGE PLACES HAVE TAKEN OVER--SORRY BUT I DO NOT TRUST THEM--

'NO ONE' HAS EVER CHANGED THE OIL IN MY VEHICLES 'EXCEPT MYSELF' IN ALL MY LIFE--

I KEEP A VARIETY OF MOTOR OILS--MOST MEN IT SEEMS SAY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS USE THE SAME BRAND OIL OR IT WILL DAMAGED THE ENGINE--THIS IS NOT MY THEORY--IF THE CONTAINER GIVES THE GRADE AND CLASS AND IS OK'D BY THE AMERICAN OIL INSTITUTE--IT IS OK WITH ME--I LOVE TO KEEP A SURPLUS SUPPLY OF OIL--I USE THE SAME WEIGHT OIL IN MY CARS AS I DO IN THE LAWNMOWERS--SO I HAVE OIL IN THE TIN BARN IN BOXES AND SOME JUST SITTING AROUND ON THE SHELVES-

MY FRIEND TELLS ME I AM GOING TO GET INTO TROUBLE WITH THE EPA BY THE WAY I DISPOSE OF MY USED OIL--HOW I DO IT IS MY LITTLE SECRET--

AS I APPROACHED MY OLD TIN BARN TODAY--JUST BEFORE I OPENED THE DOOR--I SWEAR I HEARD SOME TINY VOICES INSIDE AND THEY WERE ARGUING WITH EACH OTHER--I OPENED THE DOOR SLOWLY AND THE VOICES STOPPED--

SOMETHING STRANGE GOING ON--SO I PUT A LONG WIRE EXTENSION ON MY MICROPHONE-- PUT THE MICROPHONE IN THE BARN AND OF COURSE ATTACHED IT TO MY BOOM BOX INSIDE THE HOUSE--JUST RAN THE WIRE THROUGH A PARTIALLY OPENED WINDOW--

I LISTENED FOR SOME TIME IN THE HOUSE FOR SOMETHING FROM THE BARN ON THE BOOM BOX--NOTHING--THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THE TINY VOICES BEGAN--OF ALL THINGS THE DIFFERENT BRANDS OF OIL WERE ARGUING BETWEEN THEMSELVES AS TO WHICH BRAND WAS THE BEST--I HEARD MY NAME MENTIONED AND HOW FOOLISH I WAS TO MIX THE DIFFERENT BRANDS--OR NOT USE THE SAME BRAND ALL THE TIME--BOY I GOT A KICK OUT OF THIS--

EVIDENTLY THE OIL CONTAINERS HAD NOT NOTICED ME INSTALL THE MICROPHONE--NOW I HAD TO BE CAREFUL IF I DECIDED TO REMOVE IT OR MAKE A PERMANENT INSTALLATION--I DOUBT IF THEY WOULD SPEAK IF THEY KNEW SOMEONE WAS LISTENING--OF COURSE THEY MAY HAVE WANTED ME TO HEAR WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY--WHO KNOWS ??

AS THE OLD SAYING GOES--"YOU NEVER KNOW WHO IS WATCHING YOU - AND TALKING ABOUT YOU"--

otis english