soma metal

7/3/07 'SOMA METAL'

OTIS HERE--SURELY YOU REMEMBER MY EVENT WITH THE GRASS THAT MY SNAPPER MOWER WOULD NOT CUT--IT LEFT A 30 INCH DIAMETER SECTION OF UNCUT GRASS--SEVERAL PASSES WOULD NOT CUT THAT PATCH--AFTER A YEAR NOW-THIS GRASS HAS GROWN TO 8 FOOT TALL--I WRAPPED NYLON CORD AROUND IT IN SEVERAL PLACES SO IT WOULD STAND UP STRAIGHT--

GUESS WHAT??--NOW AFTER 2 YEARS THERE ARE 12 STANDS OF THIS GRASS JUST LIKE THE FIRST ONE--ON THE WEST ACRE OF OUR PROPERTY--NO DOUBT THE FIRST ONE SPREAD SOME SEEDS--I NOW REALIZED I NEEDED TO DO SOME SERIOUS THINKING ABOUT THIS--I TRIED CUTTING ONE BUNDLE DOWN WITH A CHAIN SAW--ALL THAT DID WAS CHOKE UP THE SAW QUICKLY AND WAS JUST NOT WORTH THE EFFORT--

SO I TRIED SOMETHING ELSE--I SOAKED THE BOTTOM OF THE GRASS STACK WITH LIGHTER FLUID AND SET FIRE TO IT--IT QUICKLY BURNED VIOLENTLY--NOW GUESS WHAT ?--AFTER THE GRASS WAS BURNED TO THE GROUND--THERE WAS A RED HOT MOLTEN MASS OF MATERIAL LEFT ON THE GROUND ABOUT AS BIG AS A 5 GALLON CAN--

AFTER THE METAL LIKE MASS COOLED--IT WEIGHED ONLY ABOUT ONE POUND--I TRIED A HACKSAW TO CUT IT--NOT A SCRATCH--MY FIRST THOUGHT IN SUCH A STRANGE SITUATION WAS TO CONTACT MY ALIEN FRIEND AMOS ON PLANET 'TENALP'--I TOLD HIM THE ENTIRE STORY--HE IMMEDIATELY KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING--HE SAID EVIDENTLY SOME BURNING PARTICLES FROM HIS UFO THRUSTERS --AS HE TOOK OFF -- HAD FALLEN FROM HIS UFO IN FLIGHT-ONTO MY PROPERTY AND WAS THE CAUSE OF THE GRASS THAT WOULD NOT CUT AND THE CAUSE OF THE TOUGH METAL I FOUND AFTER BURNING THE GRASS--

AMOS TOLD ME I HAD A GOLD MINE--HE TOLD ME TO BRING THE METAL MASS TO THE SPACE AGENCY--THEY WOULD QUICKLY REALIZE THEY NOW HAD ACCESS TO A LIGHT WEIGHT AND EXTREMELY TOUGH METAL--IT'S USE WOULD BE UNLIMITED--

AS YOU CAN GUESS--THE SPACE AGENCY CAME TO INSPECT MY PROPERTY AND SOON FROM SEEDS WERE GROWING HUGE AMOUNTS OF THIS GRASS--THE SPACE PROGRAM AND ALL INDUSTRY THAT NEEDED VERY STRONG AND LIGHT WEIGHT METAL WOULD BE CHANGING ALL OF OUR LIVES--

I WAS PROUD OF MY FRIEND 'AMOS' AND SO PROUD THAT I COULD BE A PART OF A WORLD THAT WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME--I NAMED THE METAL 'SOMA METAL' IN HONOR OF MY FRIEND AMOS--

WRITTEN BY otis english