Welcome Visitor: Login to the siteJoin the site

Story built around youtube recommendations w.i.p

Short story By: theeverevolvingepithet
Flash fiction


A story based in part on youtube recommendations


Submitted:May 22, 2013    Reads: 13    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


Staring out of the polygon window, Andy felt a twinge of sadness, a twitch of the eye at the temporal madness and a smile crept across his face at the opening in the oubliette. From where he was stood he could see the gates of Gnomeria in the distance through the misty dew of the new day's dawning.

The twin moons we like belisha beacons, carving out a path in the forest below. The witchcraft employed to put him in this place was but a slight burn, like the sensation of tequila shots trickling down the throat.

Opportunity had arose, and the cogs whirred inside his head, the notion of entrapment and free will swung like a pendulum there, as the burning flowed out to the extremities. He was at the apex of decision, and only one option rang out…

The tessellations started up again and the windows form began to waver, morphing and taking on new forms, so grasping the moment he flung himself forward. Time seemed to arc, then it snapped in to focus as he hit the ground with a thud.

Dust spattered around him and stung at his parched lips, the wind knocked out of his sails from the bell flop to freedom. Andy groaned as he lifted himself to his feet, dusted himself down from front to shoulder, and made his way through the forest, eyes narrowed and mouth clamped shut (the mosquitoes and flies would do nothing for that parched gullet of his!) stomping goblins and witches his single most thought.

Andy made his way through the thick foliage and dense undergrowth, carving a slit into the woods, the wetness of the morning slicked across his hands, and it felt good! Was this the first taste of freedom? Should he continue onwards to the gates, or make a break to new adventures yet untold?

Before he could collect his thoughts, a rustling sound was heard, 2 o'clock sharp!

It was Roger the sun bear and Kyogi the Panda! what were those two little fuckers doing in here! Roger was pawing at a watermelon so no doubt he was in a good mood, for the time being at least. Kyogi's cowboy boots were ever present and the two roared and boundered towards the wan, pale and bedraggled Andy.

There soft and furry embraces melted like butter against his jangle bones...

...and he felt himself slipping into dizzy hallucinations. his mind was feverishly aware of something looming and watching them, the electric forest coming to life all around. they moved swiftly though the trees and kyogi's boot buckle got caught on a corner of a lonely stump. suddenly the ground began to quake beneath our conquistadors and the silent alarm of the jezebels roared throughout the skies. a enormous black triangle emerged from the ground, earth pouring down its sides as it peaked slick and gleaming, seeming to stand defiantly at this new world. "how bizarre", thought andy, as he slowly approached what must be the entrance. floating on its own swung a neon sign (almost like the trashy motels and shops he'd only read about), buzzing softly and blinking with simply the word "love". he ran a hand down the the hard door and a tiny screen appeared prompting a passcode. andy thought a moment and entered 6-6-6-9, his birthdate (fuckin' gemini!) and the door slipped open to darkness, beckoning them in...

…the low hum of a Hemi could be heard from the garage next door as they stepped inside. The walls were adorned with art, thick, old wooden frames held the screen printed works through the ages; "Michaelangelo" Kyoji noted internally. A mister could be seen in the foyer, fidgeting with papers and notes on small round coffee table, and the pair both noticed something this time. He was wearing skates! he spied them and mumbled "Oizo!" with a knowing smile, thumbing for a second what looked to be a pretty gnarly copy of 'Paradise Lost' in his left pocket. Then he took to himself with the same hurried motions and they turned and carried on their way. A chargrilled smell of steak wafted down the thin corridor, and two stomachs whirred into action, generating a sound akin to the car they heard previously. The two made their way towards the source of the smell

and found themselves at a dark stairwell that seemed not to have been used in ages. "shall we go?" said kyogi, and the two linked arms and began their descent. they counted their steps 1-2-3, down to the very bottom where stood a weathered, but fine crafted door. to their surprise it was unlocked and they stepped into a ballroom with high ceilings and a disco ball. a long, dinner table stood and the two squealed with delight at the divine foods and delicacies set out to be devoured. right as kyogi reached for the chalices of red wine to toast to their good fortune, they heard the high shriek and quickly turned their puzzled heads to the direction of the far wall. in the very corner of the room laid an old woman on her death bed in a silk, silvery gown, and a pointed brasserie resting on her head...

...she drooled a little at the corners of the mouth, many days worth encrusted with more burbling up like sea spray.

She cawed and it echoed out, bouncing off walls in time to the repetitious squawk of the old dear.

Eying her with caution, they scarfed down the foods with glee, but the sound carried on every more 'til they couldn't ignore it anymore. Mouths stuffed like squirrels they approached the old lady to see what was up...

---

...just then the door swung open and an exotic looking woman wearing a powered exoskeleton suit strode through carrying a silver tray with a small needle placed neatly in the center. "have to feed the bird", she said wryly while taking out a handkerchief and dabbing up the drool. she then pierced the needle into the madame's special spot. the bird began convulsing, deafening in sound, and taking true form before their very eyes. she grew larger and larger filling the room. the woman quickly turned on her heels (cursing that she'd mistaken madonna for louis vuitton) and ran the fuck out of there. andy and kyogi dropped their grub followed right behind. back up the stairwell...

---

through the whistling of wind, the three rocketed up there with no time to spare, as the old lady, gargling and cackling as she expanded up against the brickwork, shaking the building. It lurched and creaked under the pressure as wooden beam splintered and sheared under the stress being put on them. Realising that heading upwards in the building as a bad idea, the Nurse looked out from the roof, luckily still intact at this point in time. She...

--

...caught sight of mr. oizo zipping away through the forest, puffing his pipe and pulling a wheelbarrow with his book collection piled high and swaying. she shook her head knowing this was really it, and whistled for the travelers to follow her lead. the three slid down the crumbling palace on the arses cheering and praying for safe landing, then made a break towards the garage to the getaway car. in the driver's seat sat...

---

A jerry can of petrol! just enough to fill a car or to burn a wheelbarrow, or maybe just singe the whiskers on the mega-lady's chin. What to do, what to do?

Filling the car at speed, the trio leapt into the car and tore out of the forest, pedal to the metal, engine growling loud and clear. Bushes and bramble alike were swallowed whole underneath the car as they sped towards the other side of wherever the hell thy were, so long as it was away from the ever expanding horror (hopefully) being left in the dust. As the car gathered speed they espied Mr. Oizo a little further ahead near a break in the dense undergrowth, and Kyoji floored it!

For a split second he saw the light shimmer off the hood of the car, a few words seeped out in a pinched, croaking, panicked manne, "Sacre bleu! Ce nono! I'll suck your..." before he pin wheeled in to the air, books flew free from the barrow, flapping wing-like, pigeons and doves of prose and discovery making their way into whatever trees were still standing...

---

...they heard a buzzing closing in on them, electric dragonfly spies! the madame wanted blood! "left here! we have to summon metatron!" shouted the nurse.

they came to what looked like a witch's hut with a beat-up van parked alongside. kyogi sniffed the air and pushed the door open of the hut, and a long narrow hallway greeted them with a computah screen ominously flickering and whizzing like tv static at the far end. they ran to it and the nurse gravely motioned for andy to sit down. puzzled and intrigued, andy flexed his fingers while noticing the word "cleverbot" engraved in neat cursive on the monitor. he began to type the first thing that came to mind.

"who am i?" the cursor winked and waited.

"you are a fictional character," it replied...

---

Hawww!

"As if!"

"Que?"

"Although, there's a few things I'd like to.."

Before Andy could finish his reply, the bot interjected...

"Emmeeraaalldd City!"

He replied, "Y'all not that good, seen better, seen worse, ya'll not royaltys to this sort of thing... amongst other things"

"Nyyaaiieee!"

"You need better programmers for this sort of thing"

"*digital sob* *digital cake scarfing (lots of)*

"Don't cry clever bot! You're not as bad as some bots and fictional characters!"

"Really?"

"Ish"

"*Sniff* I...i..i..need time and a crayon!"

"Ahhh time, time, timety time, tick tick, Repent Harlequin?"

The bot derped "I like that book!"

"Oh, I've seen what you like" came Andy's reply "Amongst other things"

Bot blurted out "Take the 78 bus, you'll see them.... working out too!!"

then the cursor flickered...

---

"how do i find metatron?!" andy typed, sensing the bot was sparking out.

"ask grandma, my computer love!" and the shitbot exploded, bits and shit flew about the room.

"FuUuuuuuuuCKKKKKK!!!" the three said in unison. grandmama?! they took out their thinking caps, did a little dance, chanting and calling for knowledge from the unknown.

Andy turned to the nurse, "who is the old bird yanking our dicks today?" the nurse glared hard at him, unable to keep her deepest secret any longer...

---

... Over time, these Nursey types rarely could, a little hint here, a recommendation there...amongst other things.

It was then Andy realised he had 36 eyes, loads of wings and was becoming ethereal flame, "Who's 'the old lady'? and _____, and _____, andandand _____" The names came out all covert-like and indecipherable at first hearing.

"The screens!" Nursey retorted, bringing her hands together once, the sound a thuderclap.

"'i'm going to the Moon!" Andy garbled as he was laid down on the bed, woooorrrddssss coomiinnggg loonggg aannndd ddrraawwnn oouuttt, there must be butt-hurt in the air and script weasels about (these are the polite terms, haha :P)....his last thoughts before the morphine took hold...

Through a blurry gaze he awoke...

--

...in the oubliette. his eyes coming to focus on a shirtless man peering down on him smoking a cigarette and grinning madly, fabio-esque hair blowing softly. "grandma?" asked andy chokingly, and the man simply shook his head as he took a drag. "thom?" the man kicked him this time, horribly offended. "well, who the fuck are ye then?!"...

--

Was it a grandma, a dude in a wig, was that smoke trails he saw or a big fluffy tasche?

"Waaaii yu no plai nyce? wai yu feed me to dem?" His hot breath made the watcher's glasses steam up. There was no way it was the Lizard Thom, he was too still in his movements.

Either way, he seemed a bit derp too, Up above and stuff, and that nice 80s looking Wireframe Mesh effect like computers from the future looked back then was rather nice, Andy thought to himself.

Elves!!! that remind him...

--

...as andy pulled himself out of his visions seizure-like and flailing his arms, and came to face the two intruders, the madame's hunters. peering through the window and the over-sized bird sat picking flowers and waiting for the first blow and vengeance to be won. no one spotted the nurse sneak out and around, setting up her bazooka and aiming directly at her grandmother who had caused such wreckage on her life by making her a slave. back inside...

--

(the oubliette obviously a flashback sc...)

Before more tlking could commence, a cross dressing cage fighter and a script weasel crashed through the window!!!..

---

"Friend or foe, victim or saviour, wth wth these scriblehs are too much to savour!!"

Came the script weasels squeak...

---

...at that moment the bazooka fired and the madonna let out her final crow, throwing her head back with eyes skyward. she spun like a tornado, shriveling by the millisecond until finally disintegrating into dust. left in her place laid a peaceful looking baby monkey and he began to float up to the heavens, his soul set free at last.

the nurse, kyogi, and andy stood watching the scene in bewilderment and clapped their hands.

"where's aa?" koa suddenly bellowed, hungry eyes igniting and searching for his forbidden love. he got out of the crossfire and looked down at the weasel stuck under his wheels...

--

...the stroke of the chin and the upturned 'hmmm' style smile spoke volumes.

Outside, the throng cawed the ever more! A dude with many a story to tell (of the relations of others) cruised the perimeter, "Little man of Calgary" Emblazoned down the side of the hotch-potch boy racer, mingled in with the turbo stripes.

Examiining the whole drama, what to do what to do?

Now back outside!!

A Chrsyler Crossfire with his personalised number plate, it was KoA!!!

"Watch for the confederate flag at the end of the tunnel bitches!" He said in a voice reminiscent of Shalamar, as he plowed into three of the known perps...

---

...It looked up, claws flailing, "I'll...i'll...I'll be your best fwriend! I...I'll....I'll...suck you off for a h..." before weasel could finish his wail, Koa hunched down, pulled him from under the wheels, placed him out before him, stood up and wiped the remnants of the ricer fanatic from his lovely hobnail winklepickers...A Mother a daughter combo, known for working in cahoots when they come to feed, appeared to the side of the burning light of sun down, KoA narrowed his gaze filtering out the extraenuous light to make out their forms...

...and Kol raised his skirt, much to the dismay of everyone else!

After KoA's quite dazzling display of dance with a fair nod to Lionel Blair (for reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lionel_Blair) atop poorNot weasel, he steeled himself, composed with chin slightly aloft, like those posters of yore 'for victory, for freedom, for honour!' etc...he cleared his throat and spoke, "

===

"my anonymous alcoholic, i'll forever be your man. come to me here in the forests and we'll be wed before these good people!" his voice echoed and traveled through the hills, and somewhere not far away a naked, english boy suddenly sat up in bed hearing the call and trying to make sense of it...

At the site of the veils unlifted, Andy murmured "Well I've seen and know some of that already hurr hurr, but not too shabby!" P....anyways, KoA, throat clear...

...koa beamed in satisfaction, full knowing love was on the way and his plan was finally setting into place. he turned to the others. "now what to do with you all?" he asked menacingly stepping closer, and they mock-cowered and shook under his false bravado. the nurse lawled and hit a blunt, passing it to andy. just then metatron and aa quite pink in the face and cheery strolled hand in hand...

---

Hahahahaha!!!

AstrologicalAftermath, the scamp that they is, darted out of the house, ploughing down ol' masky stealing his laptop (again!)...and made his way to the forest, more speed less haste!...

..blunts, mmmm, such a delicious thought, was someone reading my mind here or from the future!?! Either way, Metatron and AA nodded to Cassiel, strolling up in a trenchcoat, gravel voiced and full of naive yet somehow worldly charm "So, did anyone get away??" He asked.

"Promises promises" Smiled KoA, tapping his toe to a beat only he heard, and the script weasel squelched in time beneath him...

---

...cassiel in his business casual attire and dunce cap took out a scroll and began roll call. at their names nurse cooly nodded, kyogi tipped his cowboy hat, and andy shot his hand up excitedly like an eager schoolboy. the weasel croaked one last time for a hug under koa's boot. "where's the madame?" cassiel asked and nurse smiled broadly and that said enough. "the cage fighter?" no one knew. "and roger the sun bear? where the fuck has he been?!"...

'Hhaaaawwww', they scoffed at the mention of the cage fighter, his penchant for ladies attire raising smiles and spirits in the room.

As Cassiel made his way through the list, they pondered what that asshole bear might have gotten up to in the meantime, was he searching for food? More than likely, he's like an asshole trashcan with paws. The intro to "Rocky' could be heard in the distance somewhere, faint but distinct in it's melody. Two shapes made their way up the hill they were on while doing the role call, it was Roger the sun bear and the cage fighter!!! the music was coming from a ghetto blaster perched on Roger's shoulder, a half eaten melon in his other hand...

===

roger's gaze led directly to the nurse. he set down his ghettoblaster and knelled before her, taking her hands in his paws and looking up boldly. "yooooooooooooou! yooooooooooooooooouuuuu!" his eyes welled with tears. "days go by and still i think of you..." he sang his morose hymn while the beats poured into the atmosphere, making everyone's hearts go pitter-patter and dance! the nurse smiled and kissed his furry cheek. straightening up, roger remembered what his mission. "who shall i be marrying today?" he asked while changing into his clerical collar. koa grabbed aa by the neck and dragged him to stand before the bear who'd make them one.

andy, realizing he'd lost track of time, knew soon he'd have to get to the gates of gnomeria before the portal closed...

---

oh, and roger was breakdancing of course!

---

Wishing the two love birds well, he darted out of the door, kyoji not too far behind, scooping up roger's melon on the way out of the door. Back through the forest they went, the sound of wedding bells clanging out softly in the distance. They vaulted through bramble, thicket and spun round trees 'til the gates of Gnomeria were slayed out in front of them. They both turned to each other. then back at the gates, then back to one another again. They charged forward, trying not to laugh at the hurdle height of the gates, and were inside!!!

---

such fools they were! everything suddenly grew silent, an eerie stillness in the air. a sudden cackle of thunder and a hologram appeared in the midst. it was lord duncan! a smug smile played about his lips as he was fanned and fed dunkin donuts by two nekkid slores! "and what makes you baby wanks think you can leave this realm?" he challenged. at that, figures began materializing and pixelating before them, teleporting and darting all over. they multiplied by the thousands, taking new names and holding up threads and needles! "fucking jehovahsz!" kyogi cried, panicking...

CYOA!:

a) the men plea with the overlord to make a deal, however deceptive/dangerous it may be

b) they take on the cunts!

c) "These are the armies of the tyrannized! whether you're Holy or other, hand over the keys to the hover car!! and make it snappy, chop chop man/lady!" They bark at the King, as the smell of the weasel's cack (artist liberties taken here) still permeated the air...

---

the king, smooth operator that he was, seemed entirely unphased by their bold outburst. "people are strange..." he mused aloud while stroking his beard. he then roared with laughter conjuring up rain clouds on our adventurers. andy squealed like a faggot at the thought of his hair fucked up and they realized outwitting him would be much more difficult than they ever imagined. the king continued working his majikz, deftly controlling the weather erratically. his minions began spewing rainbows...

...and the weasel licked at the colourful display, others saw the rainbow and looked homesick! Oh this was a day to remember for sure! Cinder, ex-shoplifter, ne'er-do-weller and one of the lesser minions, sepia-toned and with a look as strong as iron, leapt at our troubadours emitting a high-pitched whine but fizzled into a trail of smoke when Roger's 2x4 hit her square in the back. The King's eprom fizzled and sparked...

---

...and they watched him falter and pale in the face, the HP bar above his head declining a knick. the skies darkened and the sadistic, killing moon came out to relish the scene at the gnomeria's crystal castle. roger emptied his sack loaded with melon scraps and empty pbr cans and threw them viciously at the hipster clan of minions. nurse in her lincoln with aa hogtied with ladies' hosiery in the backseat zoomed through the gates and did donuts in the castle square, vanquishing as many fucks as she could...

---

I think he'd lap it up, and take us for a drive in his personalisd Crossfire.:)

The pendulum began swinging in Andy's head again, like Foucault's, building up momentum like a slow train, the burning inside building up like a slow train, igniting his soul. Naturally, such a peaceful point in time couldn't go for long with being permeated by something more obtuse. Through muffled moans and pleas, AA could be heard to say "Set me on fire" through the dusty nurse's knickers stuffed in his mouth...

---

for a nice trip to lake lahoe maybe, lol.

and dusty knickers?! i'm nurse. my knickers are nice. :P

...his soul aching and heart a mess from being torn away from koa, although it was probably for the best! at his words the pendulum came to a halt inside andy though this new sensation continued to surge through his veins. he suddenly felt fitter, happier, more-productive! a rabid, feral boldness and aggression he never knew took over him. this was bapteme du feu. "WHAT THESE BITCHES WANT FROM A NIGGA?!", he screamed as he charged straight towards the hologram...

Seems like a popular, well known destination from what I've read, dunno if racing up in a Chrysler and a ricer would be fitting for the more tranquil surroundings but ye never know.

hhaa, nice progression! :P

The prodigy Koa, a blur in the background right now and burbling quantically (sp?), Andy hit the hologram full tilt, his moves and prowess resembling TJ Hooker's stunt man. It discombobulated around his form, as he shouted his voice distorted, aliasing and granulating 'til he sounded like Akon after a life in the rain. The scenery from which he had left pixelated and danced in front of his gaze, the people looking like tv static or a paused vhs tape, this was some fucked up voodoo hoodoo shit going on for sure!

---

andy realized he was being sucked through a vortex, some sort of whirlwind like out of 2001: a space odyssey. calculations, grids and blinding colors surrounded him as he somersaulted ahead. he must be headed directly to the king in the flesh! "going up the country!!!", he sang happily to himself.

though he grew suddenly afraid, the loneliness growing strong. he patted his body, felt his face, what was happening to him? "who am i?" he questioned once again. "nobody knows me!!!" he wailed like an aqua. the vortex began losing form around him and he was being pulled closer to a doorway with the initials N.L. ....

---

The doorway, made from a steadfast, noble oak, made a 'thunnkk' sound as Andy slammed into it.

Rlling around on the new found floor, coke bottles, candy and what appeared to be a magic lantern lay around him, the checkered floor cool to the touch. Prising himself off the floor, he rose up to be met by the almighty sizzlebird!!! "Squawk!! Is this the race to be first home or something, Andy-I-san?" came a croak...

---

---

not possible. nurse needs a friend. : )

...it was certainly the madame, taking possession of oizo's body!

"you're interrupting my chinese new year party..." (it) continued, slipping a hand in a riding glove and stretching it tight. on the couch was lord duncan contentedly setting up a new round of mahjong on the coffee table. bach played softly on the phonograph. andy felt intrusive so got right down to business.

"i request that my account be deleted," he blurted out...

---

Ahhh, Nurse's orders!

Old man Duncan let out a laugh like the scraping of a rusty, iron gate. Wine flowed from bottle to glass like the sea's waves, as Big Dunc raised it and exclaimed "Voila!". He smiled and wagged his finger in an arcing rhythm at Andy's request. Nurse Clio reached over to mop the excess wine Dunc had spilled in his excitement. These fuckers were so high, Andy thought to himself...

---

...why aren't i too?!?!

"there's still something you must do first..." dunc said.

the nurse spun the mop and whacked him in the head with it. tiny birds flew around him as he rubbed the ache and dizzily came to his senses. "let us leave! no more shit!" she demanded.

dunc stood up and pranced over to the bookshelves. he carefully chose an old, worn scrapbook and opened to the middle. inside was...

...many a thing, diagrams, theories, sketches of his penis, grocery lists, a spliff that was rolled many moons ago, a neatly folded pair of frilly panties, a dried leaf with a pretty shape, and an old metrocard fashioned to resemble a playing card.

He stroked his thick, bristly ,moustache and turned...

---

...but andy took the panties carefully in his hands and sniffed them. "aren't these koa's?" dunc gave a little "nonchalant" (gallic shrug?) and no more was said of that. dunc got to guestbook/comment pages and handed the book over to andy.

"if you leave, i require your soul when you die" he said quietly...

---

...KoA certainly must get around, from ratty, grungy gyms to the loins of the Overlord!

Was he really a King or a Queen? the words 'My life for you' were embroidered on the front, and the smell was a heady mix of almonds and hake.

"What's the going rate on that?" Andy asked in return...

---

...duncan gave a mysterious, toothy smile and continued on, "if you choose this, i'll take you to the portal myself." he reached for his inkwell of piss and his pink feather pen (that he'd often used on koa in intimate moments, errrrrrrr!). andy and nurse started at each other a moment and knew what they must do.

oizo/madame who'd been thoughtfully watching the scene from across the room grew impatient...

---

...and began chanting and bouncing up and down on his/her seat "rapidement!! rapidement!!!" came the cries in quick succession. They both narrowed there eyes and gave him a look as if he'd just farted (supposedly a formal way of greeting another in some parts of France), as Big Dunc ran his tongue along the tip of the feather pen, winking at Oizo as he did so. He...


...couldn't hold off any longer, the sexual tension became heavy and suffocated the room just from that down syndrome-y wink, and grabbed dunc by the arm leading him towards their masterbatorium of fap collages. dunc happily complied, but first took his timekeeper (an hour glass of sand) and turned it over. "when time is up i'll expect you've made a decision," then tossed andy the keys to the bedroom suite above...


...nurse, who was already at the stairwell and silently willing andy along. inside the room was a huge window along the far wall with a view of the wired, techy city and the moon high in the sky. they explored the rest of the suite finding...

Lol, good choice ...
...an array of flowers ranging from frangipanis to lilies. The room was wired up so a soft neon glow pulsated back and forth in the shape of a wireframe, no doubt linked to some security measure or way of scanning all guests in a place as palacial as this '. The smell and the scenery was something quite delightful, the hazy view of the dilapidated metropolis spanning out via ceiling-to-floor windows…

on with act II : )

...with neon airships and hovercars humming beyond, their lights drawing patterns on the walls then fading. nurse gazed about the room taking it all in and relaxing inside and out while andy was tinkering at the neo jukebox searching for the perfect selection to play. unfortunately there was a lot of pet shop boys (go figure with the residents of this place), but he stumbled upon...


...The Wayward Wind by Gogi Grant, which was a whole world better than that cheesy tat (although they had a couple of cool tunes early on in their career imo), and he punched the button. The old iron arm delved between the slivers of circular vinyl, and with clunks and whirs brought the record forwards, tilting it with a stiff jerk and laying it down with a soft plonk as the song creaked out through the speakers (It was all for show though, vinyls were destroyed a long time ago during the clamp down, and everything, even down to the static, warping and dust of the faux-vinyl records, but the effect was nice all the same). Nursey tapped her foot a couple of times in quick succession, as the music drowned out what seemed like some serious creaking and wailing sounds coming from some other room in this place...

...and she was touched by the lovely melody however bittersweet. andy came to stand behind her and she turned and smiled, with just a glint of something unreadable in her eyes. neither had spoken yet.

andy kissed her delicately on the lips, slowly slipping off...

...the straps of her dress...

But then!! zoot alors!! Christ on fire!!! The most god awful screech was heard!!! The door slid open as it was rammed by the front wheel of a small tricycle, the ones fisher price made famous!! It was a rather disgruntled gnome!! He shrieked and shook as he stared at the two, flailing hi arms and hands about! He spun a lute around that was held at his back with a piece of twine, tapped his foot in a rudimentary hip hop beat and began to serenade! Such a wondrous scene could've been something of mention but as if that wasn't bad enough, a more awful sound was heard outside, even through strengthened upvc windows! A gigantic pterodactyl was outside flapping is wings, pecking at the window and whipping up a storm...

...intent on bringing gnomeria to its end. an alarm sounded and the two ran, kicking the gnome on the tricycle on their way out, then bumping into oizo and dunc (and kyogi?!?!) in their gimp suits. "to the portal!" dunc shouted, and they made their way down the castle and into the city...

...The rubbermen (rubberpeople) glanced eagerly at the wailing gnome, and licked their lips slavishly, rubbing the already vaseline-laden hands together with such a frightful fervour, smoke could be seen emitting from them. The little gnome let out a shrill whine and repeated words (as if mantra) like the fallen weasel before him, " No..n-n-n-n-no!!! wait!! wait!! I'll be your best friend! For you, I''d punch kitte..n-n-nooo!! wai...wait!! I'd punch marmosets for you!! d-d-ddon't...get your han..." He choked back his rds through the splutter of saliva as the rubbermen encircled him, clicking their fingers and humming to a song only they seemed familiar with...their shadows loomed and consumed the gnomes form, the temperature in the room began to rise, the clicking became more polyrhythmic...

Big Dunc had left the other two to tend to such business as he made his way downstairs, running at the thick oaken door quicker than a dog shitting razor blades, hitting it full tilt. It split and buckled momentarily at the centre, shattering at it's iron clasped holdings before it swung open, a smoggy haze filtering in and around the crew...


...dunc remembering his jet pack and anti-gravity boots took off into the sky to the fortress of solitude, abandoning everyone though a single tear fell at the thought parting with dearest oizo.

andy, nurse, and kyogi made their way to the courtyard, seeing the pterodactyl occupied with odd, kinky things, and koa honked his horn motioning them to get in. realizing they were leaving gnomeria no time soon they began their retreat to lake tahoe (take lahoe) to form an army to clean up/restore the place to greatness...

... The uniforms were extremely dapper, but the crew did wonder why they were ordered one size too small, maybe that was the reason KoA chuckled so much during the whole clean up operation, no one really knew for sure. Armed with paint cans and rollers, respirator masks and the task at hand, they took to sprucing up the place...

...since dunc had gone into hiding the goblin riots had become worse and a war erupting was inevitable. our crew set up camp in a mechanical treehouse outside the kingdom gates, guarding their territory with super soakers, lightsabers, bow and arrows, (and just one gun :P).

koa, wrongly assuming himself general, was blowing orders left and right and (feeling quite profound) kept chanting his so motivational mantra, "the balance shall tip in the favor of culture, like a big fat, fucking retarded, fucking black girl on a seesaw...opposite...a dwarf." he sat watching nurse practicing her archery in her japanese school uniform and commented on her tits, demanding she give him a show. nurse simply smirked and shot him in the foot, sending him into a crybaby fit.
kyogi and andy...

...filling goblins with darts and arrows with such relish and aplomb, high fived as the little fellas scurried around, yelping and hopping mad, rolling around on the floor, their new piercings no doubt stinging just a tad, or was that from the 'water' in the supersoakers?
Either way, they sure could whine!
Koa, wearing a cardboard crown from Burger King, waved his arm is one long arc as each succession of fire riddled the goblins and the ground around them,He chuckled with glee while rubbing his wounded toe, was this like foreplay to him? With no supersoaker to hand and feeling left out, he unzipped his flies and unleashed his fury on the little fellas below, the ones crying out got it caught in their mouths, others felt their wounds burn, that dirty little monkey KoA, but he sure did make the troops smile! ...


aa, still hogtied all this time, was hanging from a big branch of the treehouse (the crew protecting him more from koa's greedy hands than any of the goblins). nurse took up her daily duties and swung over to him on a vine, feeding him appels + oranjes, and dropping a few pumpkins on the critters multiplying below!

oizo/madame was carving "gangster's paradise" in the trunk and mentally revisiting the terrifying moment dunc went M.I.A. the crew grew suspicious wondering if the bitch was fucking with the dark majiks/plotting against them again...

..When the goblin count began to wane, KoA put his leg-length pvs waders on and made his way outside to gather up the dead goblins for pelts and meat, his favourite squishing sound as he wandered oaf-like through the mess to gather up the spoils of war, and possibly a nice roast some time later that day. He picked up weapons and armour so small they'd make fun toys for young uns, crowns engraved with names like 'Earl Johnjon' and 'Prince prince', they fit like rings on his thick fingers.

He made his way back to the keep and knocked at the door with a ratatat as night began to draw in, the laser-wildcat's skreams could be heard somewhere in the forest, flickers of eye-light dancing between the dense frug of leaf, branch and bramble, the smell of goblin no doubt enticing them. He lumbered inside and Nursey pointed to where he should be, with a sullen frown he made his way to the stove/kitchen area, but not before trying to tug on madame's skirt, for which he received a hefty punch, "Obviously she's a whore!" he thought to himself as he usually would, but the look was enough for him to not actually speak as much. The kitchen had many a utensil at KoA's disposal, upon seeing the vast amount of chopsticks piled up in one corner, Goblin chow mien was the recipe for tonight!...


..."it's a fine day!" he cried happily and tapped his footies together. a sudden wind picked up, slightly shaking the treehouse and tossing things about the room. koa looked up and realized nurse was gone, everyone was gone, and felt a chill in the air. koa pulled out his lightsabre and slowly crept to the center of the room. he could hear a whisper getting louder and louder as he moved in small circles, eyes darting everywhere.

suddenly he then felt a hard clamp on his shoulder and spun around scared out of his wits. he was face to face with morgan freeman looking rather kawaii and narrating everything that was occurring that very moment! "HO HEY,"...

he pursed his lips, sugary sprinkles and gloss glistening like the twinkle in his eyes, "A-a-a-are you cross?!?!' KoA asked Mr. Freeman, to which the reply came in smooth and silky tones "No, I'm just bringing justice and some good occasions, tis all". With a wry smile he turned and face forward with KoA, hand hugging at the side of his arm, and led him forward, the sounds of Morgan's feet padding softly at the cool marble that made up the floor were pleasant to hear as he was to the touch. They wandered past a muplitple of rooms containing a variety of things, on in particular was bedecked with electronic equipment from various eras and of many design, Meiko transputers, Archaic green screens et al…

"I've got something for you, KoA" he said once he'd led them into one of the master chambers. KoA's face lit up "What is it?? What did you get me?? Where is it?"

"Under my bed" came Freeman's reply, with a nod and a wink…


koa approached the california king bed with luxurious egyptian cotton sheets and reached underneath, pulling out an erotic costume and pulling it over his head.

oOoWeeoooh, you look just like buddy holly!" said morgan.
"uh ohhh, and you're my mary tyler moore!!" he replied.
"omggg, lesbi friends 4evaaaah!"

they squealed and weezed delightedly, getting ready for their sleepover party with popcorn and the (really fucking retarded) board game "girl talk" and chatted about the upcoming militance prom in the forest.

it's definitely time for some prank calls, thought koa, and he started dialing on the main phone giggling. it rang twice and the voice that answered shook him to the core! it was...

..El Scorchio! KoA's voice cracked, this voice at the other end of the line was so unexpected, how could anyone expect such a beast to rise up and show themselves once again! He stammered and hung up, Morgan saw him shaking like a leaf and clasped hold of him real tight, just how he likes it.

Nursey could be seen near the door jamb chuckling behind her hand, and between the panicked sobs KoA bleated "Goddamn you half-japanese girls!" and she shot off like a flash. Morgan clung tighter and whispered gently, comfortingly,

"Fuck all this noise, KoA…come away with me..tonight, let's leave this all behind".

KoA cooed, and cradled deeper into Freeman's arms, "I'm a long way from Kansas!" he managed to murmur…

Meanwhile, back in the main room, Andy was wrestling with Kyoji on the marble floors, delivering nuggie nuggies and there was general rough housing between the two. Nursey once again was quick with the quips when they both looked at her as she entered, gazes like kids with their hands caught in the cookie jar "Carry on my wayward son" she said through a smile…


...andy held her eyes just a second too long and (remembering in high contrast their brief encounter back at the castle) she swiftly turned and went out onto the balcony. she could hear joyous laughter and obnoxious singing as a gang of four (totally unnatural) harajuku girls were climbing up the ladder of the treehouse, obv to party with mf and koa. they circled around her sniffing and examining her outfit and she slowly stepped away and shooed them inside. she leaned against the railing and lit a cigarette, watching oizo/madame below creating something that looked something like a time machine.

"what's new, pussycat?"...

said Oizo with an adolescent twang, madame smiled and continued on with the ratatat of hammer blows. KoA sniffed at the air as the heat of the day began too cool, "The season of the witch approaches, mmm" he said to no one in particular, hands stroking at the wormwood that surrounded him. Morgan's cherry lips parted in a smile at his observation. The golden halls…


...of heaven could be seen between the clouds, and the tribe of happy hippo people began their quest as the cicadas set in. oizo was nearly done with his creation when suddenly the system short circuited and went down. "may i kick it?" nurse asked, and kicked it before he could answer. eyes wide and panicky he scolded her, and she just laughed and gave a little shimmy. the time machine looked...

..like Phil Collins' cock, but with a deck that accepted cassette, boy what a contraption it was! Quarks bounced around in the gizmatron at the heart of the machine, the green screen computers spewing out words that were allien to their eyes as they clambered inside with the excitement of the parish at the feet of the priest. "Feel free to be who you need to be" Oizo exclaimed, throwing his hands up gleefully…

...feeling like houdini and playfully baring his teeth. andy was given the honors of setting them off, so he rubbed his palms together excitedly and gave a clap before pulling the lever. the crew closed their eyes waiting for the supa dupa flashing lights and laser beams and shlohmo motions to start, flying them away to new and foreign lands!

seconds passed. no one breathed. except koa appraising the girth the machine.

suddenly it lifted off the ground on one end, throwing them off balance and into the wall. then again on the other side tossing them back. the machine had sprouted mechanical legs, and like a spider sped through the rainy forest, faster and faster...

…scuttling and clambering along at high speed, the machine stood shoulder to shoulder with the tallest of vertigo-inducing trees.

"Sequence no9" Oizo exclaimed as he reached out for something to steady himself with as the machine careened about the forest. Was there method to his madness, who knew? One thing was crystal clear, it was all smiles as the crew bumped, bounced and shimmied their way around the guts of the beast.

The forest dwellers below looked like little ants, or toy animals at least. The Chromabox at the heart of the machine glowed and pulsated…

...and strobed, and fog and tunes poured into the machine like a discotheque as it climbed over mountains and down through valleys. nurse donned her black sunglasses and swung from the metal bars on the ceiling. andy and kyogi danced and dropped it like it's hot. koa, oizo, and mf were doing some kinda dirty sanchez shit on each other. aa was curled up, rocking back and forth in the corner realizing they never programmed a year into the machine. everyone was here (minus roger the sun bear, where'd he gone this time?) and having a rowdy time, babbling in simlish.

the machine came to a screeching halt, pressure released from the airlock door as it opened...

night. : )

Hopefully he's alright, I think someone tried to have a field day with him there, he had quite a lot of vids up at one point on yt. Yeh, that thing with Lena never happened and she never did show where I'd said that because it never happened, but someone contacted me in pm and related it to her bipolar II or something so maybe there was something in that, who knows? and yep, similar approach on that P-Angel board there haha.

..They all turned to see it's slow magic unfold as steam belched out from around the seal, sequence no9 grinding to a halt as the music playing in the background added a sense of urgency to the moment. The light outside poured in also, scorching eyes as the city and the colour could be seen surrounding the outline of what appeared to be (on first glance) a guy bedecked in a pilot's uniform, yet something about seemed not of this time or place, like he was from some future airport. He looked somewhat ornithological in his appearance and his movements were jagged and obtuse, like a magpie or jackdaw. At the bird's foot was…

...was a small, model cube with security like fort knox inside. he carefully picked it up and shook, then pressed to his ear so he could hear the anguished screams and tears for fears inside.

"what kinda witch kraftwerk fuckery is dis?" shouted koa.

"everybody wants to rule the world..." the wren said thoughtfully, "wanna give it a go?"...

"Fuck yeah!" He shrieked "I can hear the sizzlebird inside!@ he followed up, shaking the box frantically like a kid on the morning of their birthday. The box seemed to be smeared with what appeared to be old security dye that had the strange scent of lilys (sp?:) ), had some tea leaf robbed this from Tiffany's? Deep in focus he fumbled with the outside of the box, was the fantasy inside about to blow his mind far beyond his wildest dreams? He beat at the outside with his thick fingers…


...and then broke from his hands, floating up above him and changing form, the squares coming apart and dancing with finesse, glimmering in the high suns as the lords above and our time travelers watched in euphoric bliss and delight.

"so where the fuck are we anyway?" asked aa munching on m&ms...

…and tapping the air with his free hand, crooked fingers carving shapes into the sky above as he leant out of the door of the contraption. His camo pants billowed as a warm breeze passed through. The squares began to run riot as they darted about, switching direction, shape and speed in erratic then patternistic ways…

...nurse took off after the tesseract trying to catch it, her red dress flowing and growing longer every second as the earth became desert under her bare feet. stopping for a moment to locate where she was she could see neptune hanging into the atmosphere and david bowie as ziggy stardust flying across the skies, twinkling like vegas lights invitingly. the heat waves grew dense and a mirage was forming in the distance. was it bob ross painting the scenery? mf...

That guy was one smooth painter! The river below shimmered in the light, soft in places and at others the reflection blinded. It resembled the one in Paraguay thought KoA with a languid look about his eyes. A mist a rose up from the warm waters like ghosts, or were they all just a bit high from the days adventures?

Oizo tended to himself and the maintenance of the machine, chuckling to himself, a few well placed bolts on phil collins' cock were never enough!

...the gang all wandered back to the machine, amped and energetic to give it another go and see where they end up. to their alarm when the door opened slipped open there was boa (bloodofaries) standing thar with a hammer ready to bust the chromabox apart!

"fucking cunt!" said oizo, twisting his whiskers angrily...

He lobbed a spanner at BoA's ricer, glistening and looking all wonky what with the spoiler and other useless cack he'd retro-fitted to it. The fibre glass shattered and a great divide split the spoiler like a hot knife through butter, BoA yelped as Oizo chronicled the moment with a, "Groove on, sunshine!" in his velvetine tones.

BoA's eyes began burnin' as everyone leapt back in to the contraption and were back on their way, his cries muffled under the roar and whirring of cold steel.

Oizo was ponderous, maybe he'l go all MK ultra on BoA's arse on of these days…

He lobbed a spanner at BoA's ricer, glistening and looking all wonky what with the spoiler and other useless cack he'd retro-fitted to it. The fibre glass shattered and a great divide split the spoiler like a hot knife through butter, BoA yelped as Oizo chronicled the moment with a, "Groove on, sunshine!" in his velvetine tones.

BoA's eyes began burnin' as everyone leapt back in to the contraption and were back on their way, his cries muffled under the roar and whirring of cold steel.

Oizo was ponderous, maybe he'l go all MK ultra on BoA's arse on of these days…

...but probably not. he brushed his shoulders off, twiddled his fingers, and pulled the (wrong) lever. an alarm sounded with flashing lights and RED ALERT blinking on the screens as the machine began digging a hole into the earth descending further and further down. everyone screamed, eardrums and temples pounding like congas. "when the going gets tough, the tough get karazzee!!!" oizo shouted over the noise.

the machine smashed at the bottom of lord knows where, the gang disheveled, wires sparking and parts hanging. the door opened to darkness. it appeared they were in the basement of...

… an old courthouse of some sort, although it looked ancient and not of this time.

Their wanderlust temporarily ground to a halt, they dusted themselves down and stepped outside. The smell that permeated the air was a bit funky, and the air was green and clouded. "It ain't easy steering that thing" Oizo said, clambering from the wreckage…


...suddenly a siren went off from above, sounding of death, ominous and haunting.

"there must be a power outage, everyone search for supplies!"
"got nuffin!", said andy and kyogi. mf and koa "checked" each others pockets. aa produced a baby spoon. nurse took out a large flashlight and shone it ahead.

the walls around them began peeling away and ash fell lightly from the roof. there was a scurry of footsteps, figures approached them moving erratically and zombie-like in a pack. as they moved closer the crew realized they were nurses with blood on their hands headed straight for nurse!...

…a silence not unlike the quiet before a storm filled the room, only the sound of creaking joints, shuffled movements and gnashing of teeth could be heard. One of the lurching spectres groaned "What am I? W-w-w-wh.a.what am I?" in repetition, making our advernturers chill to the bone. "My my, I must be high!" exclaimed aa. One of the other shufflers shrieked in a nail-scraping tone " To you, we are the…



...before she could finish grandaddy mf swung a blazing, wooden board 180 degrees and whacked the dumb trick all the way to canada. "no summer 4 u, sweet tea!" he called after her.

the nurses became like corsairs, snarling and "argh!"-ing...

…Blue liquid spewed forth from mouth and wound alike, and one swing after another, zombie bodies flew from board to floor. From thin air a form began to materialise, it was Big Dunc's hourglass, turning slowly and wafting in and out of view. One of the crumpled bodies rose up from the floor and coughed "Catch yer own triain!", "As if!" replied…


...dunc pixelated into view, stepping out of his fancy, abstract capsule boat and giving a twirl of his cape, grinning at our adventurers. it seemed he'd grown much older, more sagely since their last encounter. he held up both palms as if summoning forth a miracle and water and strawberry jelly poured out from the ceiling. as the waterline pushed higher and higher the banshee nurses screamed as their moth-like bodies deteriorated. the entire room began to flood and tilt 90 degrees. dunc gathered everyone into the boat and blew a hole through the wall...

…with one of his mighty paws, others winced as if experiencing a paper cut, such strength, what had gotten in to him lately?

From the hole they could see faraway rivers and the all-glass memory house, gleaming in the distance. With one giant leap and the team scooped up in his arm, he bounded outside and onto the boat, clearing 200 metres vertically with one step!!



...behind them 700+ lost brothers escaped from silent hill and soared into the sea of clouds, bruised hearts healing as they entered into the sun. the crew enchanted by this discovery watched and held tight to dunc's cape as he did loop de loops through the air before making his descent on the isle of the memory house.

taking in the environment, andy froze, shaken. something didn't feel right.

"you alright?" kyogi and nurse asked.

at their feet appeared a metallic, chemical river only an inch or two wide...

Major Dunc's eye lazors shot out, cleansing the river of it's metallic impurities, and his feet became skis, gliding along the river like an angel going at mach 3, Flight (somewhat) over, all aboard!! A new day was dawning on the horizon and…

i was crazy busy yesterday and then last night ended up at a korean karaoke house that just opened, lol. it was pretty sweet, every group had their own room/lounge area. they didn't have many classics (mostly j and kpop and a lot of gaga :/) though we sang some spice girls, kylie, and madonna. i thought of you. : )


...the monsoons were kicking in. wind streaks carrying the nostalgic scent of soap&skin and puscifer guided the travelers to the entrance of the labyrinthine warren.

to their luck the glass door was wide open and they stepped into the entry room. it appeared to be a dance studio with a crystal autopiano in the center of the floor playing. next to it sat a guillotine. rain began to fall making trails down the glass windows.

koa began to sing...

… a blues-like refrain that was so loud it could probably be heard at the top of Everest, it was like he was howling at the moon, not only the satellite orbiting earth but the 13 ones past that too, he was really stretching the uppermost parts of his vocal range here, was he trying to impress someone? The rain replied in sympathy with a ratatat at the window, and Koa's pitch began to rise, a falsetto that would make eve Freddie Mercury blush! The glass doors resonated and shook when he began to hit those really high notes…

..."are el scorchio girlz romantic???" his hellish yodel was like a gun to head as he mourned his current love situation. he climbed on top the futuristic, crystal piano trying to pose seductively (er someting). was he talking about his mum?

"xxzxcuzx me?" said a voice...

"…The lion sleeps no more!" (even though she was a panda) Kyoji roared, hitting the keys with her paws quite deftly (if I do say so myself). The hammers bounced and sproinged on the strings more heavily now, and the echoing sound gave KoA quite the startle, his voice once again hitting the high notes. He leaned over the front of the piano to face Kyoji a bit more, crooning as he went along. Towers of sound built up around the room so the music took control of all. Initially, it was a cacophony but soon a melodious sound came out of it, a song fit for serenading the moon even!



...the daft punk was getting far too emotional at this point bathing himself in his maximalist tears. over the excitement no one noticed the host enter through a trapdoor and making peculiar faces watching the scene. he approached koa and ever so softly wiped the tears and shit from his confused, but pleading eyes.

"glad you all could make it!" al jarreau said to the group cheerfully. "i'll show you to the hot springs to wash up before instruction..."

…and so the story began to unfold even more, Mr. Rooftop boogie himself had appeared! It was getting close to witching hour but none of the travellers were in the slightest bit tired or worn from their adventures thus far. As they bathed in the hot springs, soothing muscles and mind alike, KoA, now dry of tear and less lippy then before chimed in with such grace and panache, "Remember when…"


..."i hit those high notes out there?" (even though it'd been near an hour ago)
"it's complicated being the man," he continued. the others amused nodded in step, then recounted their journey so far. good vibes all around and spirits relaxed.

as the two suuns began to climb the horizon, nurse slipped underwater and swam around the organ of the spring. she ran her wizardly hands along the bottom, feeling the grooves of what seemed to be a triangular trapdoor. a blue light began to glow from the other side.

nurse came back to the surface to tell the others. "holy shit!!!"...

"You won't believe what I've found down here! Get your glad rags off and come have a look-see!".

None of them wanted to stay where they were and miss out, so one by one they dove, bombed and backflipped into the water. "Kuuki*!!" shouted Kyoji as she took a giant gulp and plopped beneath the water, "Que? In my world we…" exclaimed KoA , but AA pushed him beneath the tranquil undulating waves before he had chance to finish. Only one took to the task of stripping down. Budgie smugglers on proud view and with a cartwheel towards the edge, …

*: Kuuki=Air

...that was aa of course, butt nekkid with cannonballs swingin' and pondering his next film. "does it offend you, yeah?" he stammered though of course no one really cared. nurse placed her palm in the center of the triangle and the trapdoor dissolved before them. this shit was somethin' else! she peaked her head out and upside down saw an underwater fortress with a bubble forcefield protecting it. one by one the rockstars swam through the passageway (kyogi nearly getting stuck) and into the underwater town, jellyfish and octopussies and all sorts of sea creatures surrounded them. somersaulting through, they realized they were able to breathe and speak! their words came out in speech bubbles...

"I'll follow you!" came the words from Andy to Kyoji, swimming in her general direction. KoA farted in the water and a speech bubble with a biohazard sign appeared!. "What happened there?!?!" Nurse called back as she noticed "I can only imagine…" She said to no one in particular, as they all made their way through the gateway, submersed terranauts, floating through inner space.

Octopus residue lined the walls of the buildings of the town, making it glow and shimmer like alien snow…


...the architecture amongst the sea rocks and coral was simply stunning. down on the town's streets and alleys smurfette hoez and gigalos roamed at play. they eyed the visitors suspiciously, curious of how the memory man would deal their intrusion.

andy spotted a beat-up van, quite similar to the one they'd seen however long ago, and realized they were being followed. he sped up and motioned to the crew to cut down an alley. mf and koa stopped to chat with the blue slores while the others contemplated their next move...

..smoke billowed from tire, and they screeched from corner to corner as the car roared in to life. The radio spat out garbled static, proper lofi souding it was.

"It's a disaster!" squealed KoA as his hands clasped his face in a mock-shock-horror style, staring out of the back window. How they got from the water to here no-one knows but they were progressing as they should either way.

A giant clown with a mullet and hotpants jumped out from the side of the building, a chain of sunburnt goblins were leashed to one hand, they were whining in high pitched..ummm, whines, as they licked at…


...the clown's boots and battery acid and other things. koa feeling rather bold darted at the clown and ran up his hotpant leg, swinging left and right as the clown tried to shake him off with a funky boogie. canons shot out rapidly from the sea rocks making the others tap dance. in all the noise and confusion no one noticed the van loaded with angsty, fagoot goblins revving up behind andy, hitting him unconscious and into a flashback...

"Imma ride the elevator!!" the main Goblin yipped, and bounced out of the open window and made his way towards the unconscious Andy, as randy as prince on heat. As he clambered up Andy's leg (not the middle one) Kyoji shot one of her magic arrows straight through his nose. The Goblin let out a horrific scream "Biych whatcha tryna do to me!?!?!?! I'm wetter than Venice over here! Imma tryna get my mack on", He scratched and clawed at the arrow lodged in his nose, spinning round and falling from view (behind Andy's leg).



...(read: behind andy's wang/man part) and a





0

| Email this story Email this Short story | Add to reading list



Reviews

About | News | Contact | Your Account | TheNextBigWriter | Self Publishing | Advertise

© 2013 TheNextBigWriter, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Policy.