The moment I found out I was moving, I wanted to die. Thoughts rushed and raced through my head like bees swarming around a hive. Except, this stung a whole lot more. I was out and proud at my old school, I had not problem admitting I was gay. I could talk about it, answer questions, you know, even the excessive ones the straight people have about every single thing. I was just so comfortable with myself there. How would my new school take it? I had no fucking clue if I would be as accepted there, as I was at my old school. I mean, from Michigan to Alabama. BIG, big change.
You hear horror stories about the way gays are treated in the south; would I be okay? I guess I had no choice, since my dad accepted that stupid job offer. God, did he ever think about me? What I feel? Of course not. He only cares about money, stupid green pieces of paper. Well, I guess to be fair my dad doesn't really know that I'm gay. It's kinda funny, actually, my dad is so un-involved with me when it comes to school, that I could still hide it from him even when the whole student body knew.
I can't believe this is happening. Fuck. My. Life.
There was a knock on my bedroom door, it was my dad.
"Hey, Roman. Romey-boy. You ready? It's a big day tomorrow." he said, leaning his body against my doorway, with his arms crossed.
I sighed, what did he care? "Yeah, definitely! I'm ready for something new!" I lied. I always had to lie, so he wouldn't worry about me. I didn't want him to know that I was upset about moving, that I've laid awake for the past week crying my eyes out, scared of the days to come. If he ever knew...
His mouth curled into a smile, "I'm proud of you, Son. I really am. I know I don't say it enough, but I am," he says. I wasn't used to this, at all, but I could tell he was sincere from the look in his eyes.
"Dad..." I tried to stop him.
"no really! I mean, you have great grades, no trouble, or, well, that I know of anyways, you're not into drugs...you truly are a miracle child. So, tell me, the ladies must love ya. Got a girlfriend?" he asked, his look going from sincere to excited.
"Uh...not anymore. I had to break up with her, ya know, big move." Lying used to hurt, now I'm just numb to it.
"That's my boy!" he laughed, before closing my door and walking away.
I sighed, before crawling into my bed. One last night of crying...in this room at least.
The sun suddenly filled my room with a loud brightness, the warm, vibrant rays awaking me from my deep sleep. I yawned, and sat up in my bed.
"Is that the last of it?" my dad yelled from outside my window.
I peeked through my curtain to see that my dad and his best friend, Ryan, were putting the last box into the U-Haul truck. Shit. This is it. This is really happening. I've been trying so hard to avoid the fact that this day was coming....but, now it's here. It's real. I'm really leaving the city that I grew up in, for some strange place in the scariest, most homophobic place I've ever heard of.
I jumped as I heard the door to my room open. I quickly turned around.
"Knock, knock!" it was my best friend in the whole world. She's been there through it all, she was even the first one to know I was gay. Her name was Scarlett, but I called her Scar. Ever since we first became friends. She was probably the hardest part about leaving.
I couldn't manage words, so I forced a smile.
She flashed me a sympathetic look, "it's going to be okay, Roman. I swear. Just remember, I love you. Also, if you see any potential boy-toys, and you're not sure if they're gay, just drop soap and see if they seize the opportunity!" she joked.
I smirked, "that was lame."
"Hey, fuck you, alright? I worked on that one all night last night," she laughed before turning serious, "I had to think of something to get my mind off of..." she looked down, and begin playing with her hands.
Tears filled my eyes.
There was a knock, "Hey Buddy, you ready? Oh, hey Scar." my dad said, seeming a bit pushy.
"Hey Mr. Daniels." Scar said, clearing her throat.
"Yeah..." I said, trying to hide my tear-covered face.
"Great, I'll be in the truck." My dad said, before dismissing himself.
"So, this is really it.." Scar said, her lip quivering. I could tell she was doing her best to hold herself together. She was always so strong.
We lunged towards each other, gripping each other in - what probably was - the most intense hug of my life. "I'm so fucking scared, Scar." I blurted, unable to hold it in anymore.
"I know, babe. I know." she said, rubbing my back. She was crying. She finally broke.
This is too much.