The Biggest Surprise Of My Life

So whenI was 11 I came out for the first time and it was a failed attempt, I didn’t seem serious at the time so my mother used the dread word phrase I do believe most of us hate "its just a phase". I had pretty much always known that I was a lesbian and that no guy on earth could change that yeah I dated guys once a upon a time, but it was well not my thing. I figured I should try it to make sure but I soon realized they weren’t attractive to me in anyway and yet the women around me were.

My older brother knew long before anyone else but he had figured it out for himself he is supportive and loving which is great. My older sister is also a close friend that has made me a strong person she accepted it as well. My mother claims she does but I still know better the next time I tried to come out I was 14 and this time she took me seriously flipping out beyond any measure and confusing me as well this is a woman who had both gay guy and lesbian etc. friends, one of which I was around a lot in the toddler age the other is one of my best friends mother, I didn’t understand how she could be so close to these people and support them and cast aside her own daughter her first born by blood.

Then I came to realize it was a double standard anyone outside her family was allowed to love anyone they choose but I was not and god forbid that my younger sister would ever turn out bi the whole world would crash down. My father on the other hand I was extremely close to and still am I was terrified of telling terrified that he would cast me away because he was homophobic key word being was. My dad didn’t realize a lot about our community, like how hard it is to be who we are, his only down fall was anger in ignorance, which I quickly cleared up.

He accepted me who I was with love and no regrets to this day he is my biggest supporter. I had been out to everyone at school for a lot longer than parents officially knew, but my sexual orientation never affected how would be my friend or who wouldn’t at the school I was at the time I was loved for who I was and am not who I loved. I had many mistakes that I made towards dating but I would not take a single one back because they made me wiser and helped me understand how to handle other situations later. In fact I am grateful for everything that I have ever experienced, and thank all those who had a hand in making me who I am today.