the confusion behind caring for someone you cant have

So everyone knows that realtionships are hard. But what some people dont know is exactly how hard it is to deal with the fact that you are falling for or hae already fallen for someone who you cant have or maybe you know that the relationship won't work out. I am a writer so i express my emotions through writing. But I am a person who is not hard to please and only wants simple things. I  have had the pleasure of dating my fair share of women and falling face first when I care about someone and the feelings are not returned. But what's even harder is when the feelings may or may not be returned but you dont know, or even worse the feelings are returned but they are already with someone. Hating yourself for the fact that you can't stop thinking about that person but knowing no matter what you do nothing will change. Feeling that there is a connection between you and that person, but knowing that nothing could be done to further the relationship. Seeing them day after day smiling at you, laughing at your lame jokes, telling you how cute you are when you are mad, trying to mkae you feel better when something happens that you hoped would never happen again, looking at you woth that longing in their eyes making you want so badly to jump up and hold them and never let go, holding back their true emotions and not telling you how they feel when you ask, constantly saying nothing when you ask questions leavig you sitting there thinking about what the answer possibly could have been and aching for the the answer you wish they would just give. knowing that just having that person near you hugging you even just smiling at you is enough to make the worst day the best in seconds. laying awake at night thinking about what it would be like if things could actually work out. knowing that your parents at least approve of this person, which rarely happens. realizin gthat you trust very few people and let very few people see you with your walls down and that it took 6 years for your best friend to knock them all down and this girl this woman knocked them all down in a matter of days. you keep running all this over in your mind,still knowing that nothing will come of anything you try. And all  these facts are eating you alive, yet you still have no idea how to tell her, without losing her entirely, and heres the kicker even if things could work out like you so hope you are leaving in less than 2 months to pursue your dream leaving her behind, though you will come back time does change people and even if she returned your feelings now she might not in those 3 months that you are gone.