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Adam.

By: Benjamin Cole

Chapter 2,

Chapter 2: Who is Adam Fisher

When Adam finally got home he sat in his car just thinking. Why can't I be normal? Why can't life be easy for me. See, even though Adam looked like a boy, and sounded like a boy, he wasn't biologically a boy. Adam had what doctors like to call "Gender Identity Disorder". Other people refer to the term "Transgender". Simply put, Adam had female genitalia but had a male mind set, and nobody but his parents knew. Not even his best friend Jimmy. 

When he was born, Adam was named Alexandria. Around age 8 he started to tell his parents he didn't like the name and he wanted to be called Adam. His parents thought nothing of it and thought that it was just a phase he was going though. He grew up playing with Lego's and Action Figure's. If anybody tried to put him in a dress he would throw a fit until some pants or overalls were on him. His parents just thought that he was a tomboy. Until puberty hit. Adam would cry and cry for hours on end. They thought it was just his emotions and that things would be brighter after a week. But nothing changed. He would lock himself in his room and not talk to anybody for hours at a time. Finally one day his mother decided enough was enough and that he needed to explain what was wrong.

"Alexandria, we need to talk about what is making you sad all the time. Is somebody being mean to you?" his mother asked with concern in her eyes. She could tell that her child was in pain and she didn't know what to do. Adam just sat there, looking at her through his long brown hair. His eyes were red from crying so much and it seemed like his soul was gone. 

"I hate my body mom" he said.

She gave a sigh of relief, "Oh dear, everybody hates their body at your age. You're changing and things are growing. Your cycle just started and your hormones are going crazy. Sometimes we feel too big or two small and that's just because of the way our emotions are changing." She thought she fixed the problem and gave him a hug. "You're the most beautiful daughter in the world. You're my princess." His mother stood up but was suddenly startled by the sound of him sobbing.

Adam couldn't hold it in anymore. With a deep breath he started talking and didn't know when he would stop. "I don't hate my body in that way! I hate my body because it's female. I don't want to be the princess, I want to be the prince. I don't want to be the most beautiful daughter, I want to be the most handsome son. I don't want to have breasts growing or a cycle happening. I don't want this long hair, or to be called Alexandria. I want to be Adam. I want to be male." he started to cry again.

His mother looked at him with disbelief. She sat back down on the bed and just stared at him. He'd never forget that look. The look she had was like somebody just killed her daughter.

"This is just a phase and I refuse to call you my son. If God wanted me to have a son, I would have one. You are my daughter and you will always be Alexandria." his mother said this with a stern look and quietly left the room. Neither of them talked to each other for the next few days. It wasn't until Adams father came into his room a few days later and tried to understand what he was saying. His father was a quiet man, who was always more understanding than his mother.

"What makes you want to be male Alexandria? Are you attracted to women? Because if that's the case then maybe you're a lesbian." Even though he knew his dad was trying, he was just making things worse.

"Dad, what makes you want to be a male? Is it the fact that you have a flat chest or the fact that you have a deep voice? Is it the fact that you like women or the fact that you have a male part? Don't you understand that I want to be a man because that's what I'm comfortable as? What would you do if you woke up one morning and you turned into a female? Would you be alright with that or would you want to be yourself because that's how you need to be in order to function. I want to be male so I can feel like my brain thinks I need to be. If I was male, I would feel normal, like nothing in the world could bring me down." after saying this he got up and opened his door. "If you and mom don't support me, that's fine. I need to do this for myself. I can't live a lie anymore." he felt like a weight had been lifted off of his chest. He was going to be who he wanted no matter what.

That night his mother came into his room with some dinner. She looked like she had been crying for a few days and missed out on some much needed sleep. She put the plate on his dresser and sat down on his bed. Adam was going to ask her to leave, but he wanted to hear what she had to say. She was his mother after all, he was alive because of her.

"Your father told me what you said to him today about wanting to be more comfortable in your skin. I may not understand how you feel completely, but I've been doing some research and can tell you that you're not alone. I can't promise you that we will be able to call you Adam right away, or even call you our son, but I can promise that we will try. I've prayed about this and asked God why he would burden you with these feelings. I don't have an answer, but I can tell you that he tests us in many ways. I promise that we will do whatever we need in order for you to feel normal Alexan--Adam. I love you, son." she started to choke up. Adam grabbed her so tight as he started to cry. He never thought his family would support him, let alone make an effort to understand him.

"I love you to mom" he said

The next night his mother took him to get his hair cut. He had never had a short hair style before and he was extremely nervous. After telling the stylist that it was alright to make the first cut, Adam felt an extreme excitement come over him. What would people at school say? How would his friends react. There weren't many people in Mane that were Gay, let alone Transgender. After his hair cut, it was time for a new wardrobe. All the clothes he had at home were either pink or low cut. He bought some button up shirts and new jeans. He thought that things were going to be so much better once he got to school, but he had no idea what would happen the next day.

He walked into school head held high and ready for the day. He saw some friends over by the biology lab and thought he would talk to them about his new look. 

He walked up to his biology partner "Oh my God Alexandria what did you do? Are you going like crazy Brittany Spears on us right now? Do you really think I can be seen with you? You look like a guy with huge boobs!" she looked at him with disgust, like he was nothing but a bug on the bottom of her shoe. It got worse as the day went on. "Freak, Dyke, LesBo, Faggot, He/She, SheMale" were just a few names people started to call him. It got so bad by third period that he called his mother and had her pick him up. He couldn't stop crying and promised he'd never step foot in that school again. Unfortunately that wasn't an option for Adam, he had to be there.

As the days went on, the bullying got worse. People would throw things at him and the new nickname he earned was "IT". His parents decided enough was enough when they woke up one morning to find the word "IT" spray painted on their home. It wasn't safe for Adam anymore and they weren't going to make him suffer each day. They decided to move out to Texas to be closer to other relatives and to get a fresh start. Adam finished out his eight grade year and moved out to Texas when summer started. 

Once his family settled in down in Texas, they decided they needed a story if anybody asked why they moved down there. "I'll just tell people that you and dad had to move down here for work" Adam suggested. It was simple and common so they agreed that would be the story. "The only problem I foresee happening is my chest being noticeably big." he said. It was true. Unfortunately his mother had a big chest size that was passed down to him. "Well we were going to save this for a surprise, but we just can't anymore. Here you go." his dad threw a small gift wrapped box at him. When he opened it up, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. It was a chest binder! He wanted one before but his parents were worried he would hurt himself because of how tight they can get. He couldn't wait to try all of his clothes on with the binder. He ran into his room, put it on, and thew his shirt on. He was completely flat!

"Thank you so much! I can't believe this! I look like a boy!" he was so excited and had small tears in his eyes. 

The whole summer his family was busy making changes and trying to make the next school year easy for Adam. He had been seeing a therapist in Mane and was able to be prescribed Testosterone once he was in Texas. This meant his voice would get deeper, his body would change, and he could even start getting facial hair. He wasn't to worried about his first year because most boys are just hitting puberty in ninth grade, so he wouldn't be to far behind them. Him and his parents were also able to have his name change and gender marker legally changed so he would be called Adam in school as well as "He" and be able to use the Mens restroom without a problem.

This was his freshman year and nothing was going to go wrong. He was the new guy, and he would but just that. A guy. The whole school year Adam was doing great. He had good grades, and loved all of his teachers. Nobody questioned him or his gender. They just thought he was a cool guy that moved here from Mane, who loved to play sports and had no care in the world. The only times he would run into problems would be if somebody wanted to go swimming. Since he didn't have chest surgery, he still technically had breasts. He couldn't swim in the water with his binder on because he didn't want to ruin it or run the chance of running out of breath. If people invited him to swim parties he would always stay out of the water. He finally decided that he would just stop going all together because it wasn't fun to just sit around.

His ninth, tenth, and eleventh grade year were all amazing. His friends were all great kids, his family was always happy, and Adam always had a smile on his face. Nothing could bring him down. There were points were he would have small bouts of depression because like any teenager, hormones are a bitch. He would just shake out of it and remember that things could be worse, but nothing bad was going to happen, right?

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