"You need to go out Valerie." Mary said as she rubbed my forehead. It has been two months fourteen days and three hours since that day Sam left me. Mary was here she left the group after I came out to the group, at first she was afraid but when she saw me she accepted herself and came to live with me. Michael stopped threatening my life after I recorded his threats and threatened him by saying I was going to call the cops.
"I don't want to." I said as I lay there staring at nothing at all. I haven't heard of Sam, hell last time I tried looking for her about a month ago her house was for rent. I haven't seen her, not even a glimpse no one has, I did ask a friend though and all he could come up with was a court case in which she won full custody of Timmy. I cried hell I sobbed at how happy I imagined Sam would be.
"You need to Val."
"What's the point Mary, she isn't coming back." I said as I sat up and went to my kitchen to get my scotch.
"It's for your own good, you can't lay in bed or in the couch forever."
"What about the floor?" I said sarcastically as I took a drink.
"Valerie I'm not playing games."
"What!" I screamed back.
"You need to get the fuck up and get your life going, you need money and for that you need work you can't sit around and expect me to pay for this place!"
"My heart is broken what the hell do you expect me to do!"
"I want my friend back the one that stood up!"
"Well she's dead!" I screamed as I slammed the bottle on the counter making it break. I noticed that my hand was bleeding as well so I let go of the bottle and just stared at the blood, at the cuts in my hand, almost the same like the ones I felt in my heart.
"I'm dead inside Mary…I just…I can't go on." I said as I looked up at her and cried silently. Mary came to me and as soon as she hugged me I lost my strength and fell against her. We ended falling Mary on her knees while I just lay on the ground.
"Val you can go on, it's one woman, and you can't let her ruin you. I don't know but I can bet you that she isn't laying in bed crying over you, she's more than likely living her life and you need to do that too."
"I don't want to." I said as I finally stood up and went to the couch. Mary went to the restroom and came back with some supplies to cover my hand with. I looked at her as she cleaned my hand and took glass out of my skin.
"I will get a job at the movie store, but that's it."
"Okay that will do, for now anyways." Mary said.
"Can you call Sherry and ask her if she needs anyone?"
"Yea." Mary said as she went to get her phone. I could hear that she was talking and telling Sherry about what I've been going through. Sherry was the owner of a movie store and she used to be in that group but she dropped out after she saw what they did to that guy, the victim.
"She said she would be thankful if you did because the intern she has right now is pitiful and always on the phone."
"You start tomorrow Val."
"Mary, I'm going to sleep now okay?"
"Okay, I'm going too go out for a bit but I will be back."
"Okay." I said as I fell asleep. I dreamed about that night Sam left me, but all I heard was I hate you over and over again. I would have woken up screaming and crying but I've gotten used to the dreams so all I did was sit up and went to get a drink. Yes I know I've been drinking so much that I literally have alcohol almost everywhere.
"Hey Valerie wake up." Mary said as she came walking from the room.
"I'm awake." I said as I went to my room to shower and change. As I got in the shower all I did was lean my head against the wall enjoying the hot water. Once I was done I went to change into a long sleeve turquoise colored shirt and some black jeans.
"Hey Mary I'm leaving." I called out as I went to the door.
"Have a good day." Mary called back.
I walked to my car and got in it and then drove off to the store. I had forgotten how nice it felt to drive, to see the world just move. It too about thirty minutes to get there and once I walked in from the back Sherry was waiting with a hug.
"Oh sugar I heard about your pain, you can always talk if you need to okay?"
"Yea, thanks Sherry."
"So what do want me to do?"
"Oh you can work the register."
"Yea just like old times."
"Of course." I said as I smiled. Back when Sherry first began remodeling the store I was helping her out and when it was opened I worked the register, and now here I was again.
"So do you get a lot of customers?" I asked as I sat down on the stool.
"Yea, quiet a few."
"Nice." I said and that's when I had my first customer, it went like that until closing time came. There would be one then two and then more and then it would calm down and pick up again. We were just about to close when the bell chimed again, but I was in the back putting some stuff up so I didn't see who it was straight away.
"I'll be out in a second." I called out.
"That's alright, take your time." I heard a voice call back which strangely seemed familiar. I didn't give it much thought until I went around to the register but even then I really didn't see anyone. So I began to stack some movies on the bottom and when I stood up I was looking at the cover of one of the movies so I didn't see anyone but I heard the voice.
"Look Nana its Valerie." I heard Timmy say and that's when I looked up only to meet a smiling Timmy and an angry Nana.