I rubbed my eyes ,for the first time, I had waken up by my self . I looked up at the clock on my boring, white wall of this hospital room .It read 5:20 a.m. I jumped out of bed and went through my clothes and ran in the shower .By the time the nurse did her daily routine,I was dressed and had pulled my hair in a messy bun.
I walked into the meeting room and it wasn't long till it was filled with the other patients talking and eating .I pulled my chair into an empty corner and ate my yogurt .
As I looked out the window I wondered what my friends were thinking .Did they miss me ? Did they wonder how I was ?My depression started to take over .It was moments like this that I wished I could fly or maybe move to the moon ,and live alone .I wouldn't have to worry about being judged hurt or loosing the ones I truly loved .
I started thinking of how life would be when I was awakened by a tap on my shoulder.I turned I saw this tall masculine looking person standing next to me .Her hair was wet ,sticking to her face ,she had the look of regret in her face.It was Victoria ....
I stared right at her hazel eyes ,I was aware of her lips moving but it was as if her eyes were a foggy forest keeping me in a trance .
''I didn't mean to disturb you ... "
I quickly snapped out of it blood rushing to my cheeks.
"No its fine ...yeah the um chair's not taken .''I studdered and awkwardly patted the chair ,next to me.
She smiled and sat next to me .There was a long comfortable silence between us.She drank her milk also looking out the window .Finally I broke the silence .
''Hey I'm sorry I walked into your room yesterday ,I didn't mean to ,I'm Elaina. "
'' Its fine if it weren't for you I would have never come out ,I'm guessing you already know my name, but I would appreciate it if you called me Aiden . "
She smiled and tossed her milk cartoon across the wall and made it go right into the trashcan .A tall lady,stading near the door way ,glared at her.
''No trowing stuff across the room please''she said with the fakest ,nice voice, ever.''Girls gather up im going to teach the class today so make a circle and please be quiet ''
The last request was obviously meant for the group of girls across the room talking and laughing obnoxiously.We unwillingly made a circle an annoyed, pained look on all of our faces.It was obvious no one cared about this counseling classes but it was the only way they'd let us go .
She took role making sure no one was in their dorm ,trying to ditch ,and passed some papers and pencils.I was filled with annoyance and amazement .She was letting us use pencils ?!
I had not seen or touched one ,since being here.They were in the list of dangerous objects to patients and staff .Yeah i know it sounds stupid .
Us having pencils today, only meant we were going to have to write or answer questions ....Great .
''Today we are going to talk about hurt and how keeping it in is not good .As we all obviously know ,keeping hurt in only causes it to pile up and we eventually will break ''
Everyone across the room rolled their eyes ,everyone except Aiden she was sitting down looking at the ground ,her short wavy,still wet ,hair covering her face and keeping me from seeing any emotion.
''So Elaina I see you have finally decided to join us ,what are some ways ,that we have talked about this past days,that could help us let our hurt out ? "
''I don't know .''
''You don't know ,why don't you know? "
"Because I haven't attended any of my counseling classes "
I bit my tongue as she asked the other patients the same question.After what seemed like an eternity she changed the topic .
She wanted us to tell to everyone why we were here .The only ones that knew about me were the staff.I didnt understand the point of sharing our story .
I started to feel uncomfortable I was sure Aiden and I were the only ones that had not shared their story to the other patients.
One by one girls shared their story which was followed by tears from most of the patients,including me.Aiden was the only one who didn't seem to show any effect to their stories.She was looking down at the ground ,no expression on her face.
As it got closer to being my turn I started to tap my foot,one of the many things I did when nervous.My palms started getting sweaty .
I clenched my teeth as the counselor pointed out that it was my turn to go .I was not sure I could do this again .I didn't want to relive my event. Even the thought made me feel dirty .