As we'd gotten off the plane and I stood waiting for my luggage and the others were talking. Key came up beside me. I looked over at her and then looked down a little as I wasn't sure how to start. I sighed and took her hand. She met my gaze and held it for a while. "That's your bag," she said then as my bag came along with the rest. I blushed and let go of her hand and grabbed my bag as everyone were trying to find their bags. Eventually we all had out bags. I walked over to Jenny and hugged her. "Okay, are you sure you'll be okay?" Jenny asked. I nodded and looked at her. "I will. It's just one of those really fucked up things that happen to me," I said. She laughed a little. "Yeah, it sure is," she said and walked away with Matt. I walked out to try to find a cab home.
As I stood waiting Key came walking. "Hey, could I just go with you. I really don't want to listen to Heather making out with what's his name," she asked carefully. I nodded once. "Sure, it's the same direction," I answered. It's actually a lie. It's a minor detour but I understand where she comes from with that. She smiled weakly. A cab stopped and let us in as he put our bags in the trunk. I sat on one side as she sat on the other. We were both quiet as we'd said our addresses to the cab driver. I looked out the window for a bit. "I shouldn't have hit you," she said after a while. I raised one eyebrow and looked at her and sighed. "No, I was actually shocked at how much it hurt considering the morphine I was on," I said and smiled a little to ease the tension. She looked a little more tortured by it. "Do you ever feel like you just want to say this one thing but somehow you keep saying a lot of things and half the time you don't even know what you're saying at all and it gets so confused and you get so frustrated because you can't just say this little sentence without blabbering like an idiot?" she asked. I raised one eyebrow. "Yes, every time I talk to you," I said. She blushed and smiled lightly. "That's what it's been like for me this entire weekend. All I want to say to you is how much I love you and how much I just want you and all of you but it comes out like a word womit and I just watch how hurt you get by whatever I say to you," she said. I took a deep breath and bit my lip.
"I don't mean to be mean but what you've done most of the time this weekend is tell me my flaws, tell me I'm not enough, not good enough, that I open my heart to much and you don't like that, that in some twisted world you don't like feelings with sex. I guess the plane shows that more than anything. Honestly Key, I want to tell you that it's okay, that we could just ignore all of it and get over it but that would mean that I'd have to lie and I'd have to suppress every feeling in me that suggest that you wish I was someone else. I mean, it's partly my fault. I didn't tell you that I'm freaked out by being on boats because of water, that the only reason I'm emotional with you is because I've ignored your past and I shouldn't have. I should have asked you about it, I should have talked to you about all of it so that I wouldn't have had to feel like you were hammering me down," I said. She looked really worried and almost like she was about to cry. I frowned and sighed as I laid a hand on her cheek. She looked down a little and then looked at me. "You're not. It's not true. I love how shy and quiet you are. I love how insecure you are even if I do want you to feel confident. That doesn't make sense. Faith, I want you and I've told you that. I don't want detached sex, I guess I see where it might sound like it but I only react to it like that because I feel what I feel for you. You're great at sex and all of that. A lot better than my exes where when we started out. Of course you can ask about them and we can talk about it...if you still want to," she said as I could see her hands shaking. She's scared. I felt a hole in my heart just thinking of her walking out of the cab. It would be the last I'd see of her if she did.
I swallowed and looked out and I knew we were getting closer to Heathers place. I frowned. I wouldn't have time to talk about all of this. I looked at her. "When we get home. This isn't the place," I said. She held my gaze for a while and then nodded a little. "Skip the first address just go to the west side," she said to the driver as she kept eye contact with me. I felt that I was a little scared as well. I tilted my face down as I needed to think. If I bring her home I have no where to run. Jenny told me to resolve this. "What are you thinking about?" she asked then. I looked up and over at her. "I don't know. It's a lot rushing in my head," I whispered. She nodded a little. "I know, you're a little thinker," she said and smiled softly. God, does she have to be so sweet? "Please don't be so sweet to me right now. I need to keep a clear head," I whispered. She looked a little shocked at me but nodded. "Okey, sure," she said.
We walked thought my door. I sighed and put my bag against the wall and then walked into my kitchen. I was actually really tired. We'd been flying for eight hours and one hour cab. I opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water. "Do you want one?" I asked. She nodded a little and I handed one to her as we then walked to the living room and sat down. I drank a little as I wasn't sure where to start. "Where do you want to start?" I asked. She frowned and swallowed. "Where does it hurt the most?" she asked. I sighed and looked away. "I don't know," I said. She nodded. "My first girlfriend and I were together for five months. Kathy. She was notorious and really an angry person. She used to say a lot of terrible things. I don't know why we got together. I remember her walking up to me randomly in town, since it was in high school it wasn't okay to mingle there, and she said "I hate your shirt," and then she kissed me. I actually didn't realise that we were together until she was always walking with me and it was like I was her property. We actually only had sex once. It wasn't that great. I broke up with her and she flipped out. I swear I didn't dare to go to school for a week," she said and smirked a little embarrassed. I raised one eyebrow. "Oh, really?" I asked. She nodded and bit her lip and looked a little sad.
"My senior year in high school, I started dating a girl named Sarah Manning. She was older and I thought she was really cool. Around valentines she dumped me for a guy named Josh. I mean, I sort of liked her but it was more of an idol crush sort of. I mean I met her as I snuck into a gay club. We actually had sex in the bathroom there and that's how we started out. It was drunk and sloppy but I was kind of fine with it because at this point I figured it was supposed to be like that. Of course after being with her for a few months, I realised I'd missed out on a lot," she said. I sighed and got up and walked to the window. "Do you want me to stop?" she asked. I shook my head as I looked out at the night sky and listened to her.
"I started collage and I was single for a while since I didn't want to make so many mistakes. After a year I met Cristina," she said. I frowned. That was the one who broke her. "It started out great, or so I thought. We were friends for like three months before we accidentally kissed and she confessed to having feelings for me. I-I thought I felt the same way but I guess not. We started out slow and we then started experimenting. I was so stupid. Then after collage we were still going strong and she made me move with her. I didn't mind since I thought New York sounded like a good plan. But then she changed and you know the rest," she said. I frowned. "You said four," I said and looked over at her. She sighed and nodded as she looked down.
"After her I swore I was done with girls so I went out to a club with Heather and I slept with a guy. I don't know his name, I think maybe it was Jonathan but not sure, I was kind of influenced. We used protection and everything. It was kind of like fucking with a strap on but the difference being that it was warmer, slightly softer and I didn't find him as attractive as I do women. I mean, it wasn't terrible but it wasn't what I wanted," she said. I nodded a little and sighed. "So I'm at least not the rebound," I said. She smiled a little and shook her head. "No," she said with little pride. I blushed and looked down at my hands. "If you didn't find him attractive how come you wanted me to dress...," I started but she cut me off. "It's so not the same thing. You have what I love about women even if you look so cool in boys clothes. I think you look more comfortable in pants than a dress or skirt," she said as she got up and walked closer to me. "I guess," I said as I knew she was right. She then laid a hand on my cheek. "I love you and that's all that matters right now," she whispered. I sighed and looked down.
"Key, if we're really going to do this then we can't just not tell one another things to spare feelings. I need total honesty. If you can't do that then I can't do this," I said. She nodded. "I know, I will always be honest with you," she whispered. I swallowed. I don't want to lose her but everything feels so insecure in some way. "You made me feel incompetent and stupid for falling for you," I whispered. She sighed. "You're not. I've never thought so," she said. I blinked and looked down.
"But we barely have any time together," I said. She looked down as well. "I know, we both work and you study and it makes our time limited especially since we live in different parts of town," she said and pulled me closer. I nodded as I felt a little bad just thinking about it. I wish she could stay here. At least then I'd not come home and just be alone so much.
"But hey you could always move in with me," I said playfully as I didn't even want to take myself serious I case she'd say no. She smiled and let her lips brush against mine lightly. "I'd love to, but you're not serious," she whispered. I opened my mouth. "But I am. I don't like to be lonely every night and I hate when it's quiet in my apartment," I whispered. She pulled out and looked at my face and searched it. "You're serious?" she asked now completely serious. I nodded. She sighed. "Aren't you mad at me or something?" she asked. I swallowed. "No, I just felt like such a failure because of you," I said. She frowned. "You're not," she said. I looked into her eyes and held her gaze. "So you say, prove it then," I said. She nodded and kissed me as she pulled me closer and held me tightly. It hurt a little but I didn't care. She pushed me backwards to my bedroom as we landed on my bed and she stripped me. She looked at my two wounds but smiled and kissed me anyways. I felt a little insecure about it but let go anyways and we continued.
She let her fingers slide over my entire body. "I love you the way your skin prickles," she whispered as I'd got goosebumps because of her. I blushed. As she teased my nipples I felt so horny and still just loved. It was actually the best sex I'd ever had with her. It was so complete and emotional but driven and everything. We did it in so many different ways. Every now and then we'd just lay out of breath and look at one another and start laughing because it was so ridicules.
In the morning I lay awake looking at her as she was sleeping soundly. I bit my lip a little to keep myself from touching her skin. It knocked on my door so I slid out of bed and pulled on panties and a slightly relaxed shirt as I walked to the door. I looked through the peep hole and it was Jenny. I unlocked and opened it. "Morning," she said happily as she walked into my kitchen. "Morning," I said and locked my door again and followed her in. She put up a bag of fruit and then some fresh beagles. "Thanks," I said as I took the grapes and started cleaning them. "What do you feel like doing today?" Jenny asked as she started preparing beagles for us. I moved on to filling the tea can with water.
"I was going to take a slow day before I get back to studies and work," I answered. "Great, then you should talk to Key, because I know you and I know how you feel about her so don't just give up. Everyone fights, even you and I fight at times. If you love her you should at least try to work it out," Jenny said. I turned to say I had but Key just walked in wearing one of my shirts and her own panties. Jenny looked a little surprised. Key scratched the back of her head a little. "Actually we talked," Key answered for me. Jenny blushed. "I can see that," she said and then smiled a little.
Key walked over to me and kissed me as she wrapped her arms around me and rested a little. It warmed me all the way to my toes. I smelled her neck a little as she somehow still smelled great. "God, I hate you, how can you look and smell so great," I said and pushed her away a little. She smirked and shrugged. "Yeah, really, that's a miracle," Jenny said. Key bit her lip and leaned against the counter. "I don't know, maybe it's one of my superpowers," she said a little cocky. I nodded. "I'm making tea, do you want some?" I asked her. She nodded. "Sure," she said. I filled the can up and put it in boiling. Jenny opened my fridge. "Girl, you need to go shopping," she said. I sighed. "I know," I said and then escaped to my closet to get dressed.
I returned in a few minutes in jeans and a tighter bra and t-shirt. I pulled on socks as I walked. Key and Jenny were sitting by the table with a cup tea each. "Yours is there. Three spoons sugar and one ounce milk," Jenny said. I smiled a little at her as she knew that I like it like that. I took it and sat down beside Key. "So you aren't breaking up then," Jenny concluded. I shook my head. Key smiled softly at me. "No, we were discussing moving in together but we got distracted," Key answered. Jenny looked shocked and raised one eyebrow. "Oh, really?" she asked me. I nodded as I felt a little nervous. "Sounds like a great plan. You should have a try for a few months and see if it works," she said. I nodded and bit my lip and looked at Key. "Do you feel like coming grocery shopping later?" I asked. She looked thoughtful. "Sure," she said.
Jenny looked at me. "Hey, how's your wounds?" she asked. I sighed. "I actually need to get some of them redone. I tore them open a bit. Oh, I need to get new sheets," I said. Jenny looked shocked. "What did you do last night to tear them?" She asked. I blushed. Key looked a little remorseful. "So my fault, didn't really think about them," she admitted. I had been too occupied to think about the pain and I did take more painkillers. Jenny looked a little worried. "Be careful, you'll get nasty scars if you don't let them heal properly," Jenny reminded me. I sighed and nodded. "I'm aware," I said. Key laced her fingers with mine. "I promise to be more careful. We can even live in celibacy until they are healed," she said. I raised one eyebrow and shook my head a little. "No, you might be able to do that but I won't," I said. Both Jenny and Key looked a little shocked at me. Then Jenny looked at Key. "Oh, you turned her to the dark side," she said playfully. Key grinned. "Of course," she said. I rolled my eyes a little. I guess now our real adventure of life begins.