This is a story containing homosexual situations. Any negative comments are not appreciated. I would like to know if you would want to hear more about Jackson and Bryan's journey together, or lack of, in more chapters later on or not. Please comment and let me know. This would be greatly appreciated as would any critiques. Thank you and enjoy.
I flopped down onto the neatly made bed and let my eyes close. 'Why the hell was I here?' I thought to myself even though I already knew the answer to that.
The entire plane ride here I had been asking myself that same question.
'Support Bryan. You're going to support your best friend because he asked you to.' I had told myself to calm my nerves.
It was the day before the wedding and I had missed the bachelor's party on purpose. There was no appeal to being surrounded by women that wore nothing but there smiles. I was gay and Jackson respected that when I declined the invitation. I should've declined the entire invitation.
Jackson was my best friend. Had been ever since we were toddlers. Regardless of that fact we were polar opposites. He was tall, with gorgeous blond hair, green eyes that you could get lost in, and a perfect smile. A straight "A" student and an impeccable athlete made him a popular guy in high school and college.
I on the other hand wasn't much for sports. He had begged me to try something, given the fact that I was the same height as him, which is about 6'1, but I had insisted it wasn't for me. I spent my time studying art. My black hair stood out against my blue eyes and I prided myself on oral hygiene. I had my pick of girls from freshman year of high school to senior year of college, but the problem was: I didn't want them.
Jackson had been the most supportive when I finally decided to come out to him and help me tell the rest of my family and friends. Without him I'm pretty sure it would still be a secret.
So, here I was, laying in the hotel room in blazing California, thinking about standing next to my best friend tomorrow as he eternally tethered himself to a woman he loved. I could do it happily, if only I wasn't in love with him myself.
I jerked upright when the phone rang and reached over to get it.
"Bryan! You finally made it." Jackson sounded happy and I could hear someone laughing in the background. A woman. Probably Chelsea.
"Yea, I just got in. Is everything set for tomorrow?" I slid to the head of the bed and kicked my shoes off.
There was a slight pause before he answered, but he finally did. "Yea, everything is ready. I'm gonna come by later so we can work out a few things. Is that alright or do you want some sleep?"
I want sleep. "No, that's fine."
"Alright, see you in a few hours." He hung up the phone and I put down the receiver.
What kind of things did we need to work out? I was his best man. I stand there with a smile on my face and later on give a speech about how I never thought he would get this far. Which would be true. Jackson had always been a player. One girl in the dorm this day and a totally different one the next. The guy was indecisive if you asked me.
I had always been jealous of the girls he brought to the dorms. They had what I could never get, but I had to sit and look at every day. He was the idea behind so many of my sketches that I barely even thought of drawing anything else. The ocean scene I painted just so happened to be the exact green of his eyes and the sun the same golden hue of his sun kissed hair.
I rolled over and tried to stop those old thoughts from roaming free in my head, but eventually was lulled to sleep by the vision of him.
The knocks on the door made me roll over and glance at the clock on the nightstand. 9:30. I sat up and realized I was still in my jacket and slowly took it off as I made my way to the door. I pulled it open and there he was. The man I hadn't seen since I moved away two years ago and the first man I had ever loved.
He smiled and walked right in, making himself at home like he always did. A bad, but cute habit. I closed the door and turned to be embraced by his arms in a warm hug.
"I missed you man." I smiled a little when he spoke those words right in my ear as I hugged him back before he finally let me go.
"I missed you too."
He smirked and I noticed he had a bottle in his hand. Champagne probably. I knew he didn't want to talk about anything concerning the wedding when he said it to me on the phone.
"So, here's the deal." He turned to me with that look on his face that said "sorry I didn't tell you earlier but you would've never agreed." He had the look on his face often when we were younger.
"Chelsea had this whole no sex the night before the wedding thing going on so I need a place to crash. I was hoping you wouldn't mind the extra company."
I looked at him and almost rolled my eyes. He knew I wouldn't say no. "Well, you're here now so I can't tell you to leave, but there's only one bed."
As if to make a point I went and sat on the edge of the bed as he sat in the armchair across from it.
"We've slept together before. It's not a problem."
I could feel my jaw clench reflexively at his first sentence and tried my best to hide it, but he saw.
"I didn't mean it like that. If you're more comfortable with me on the floor I don't mind." His voice was a little softer and I knew he meant it. Ever since he found out I was gay he was careful about what he said around me. He had no reason to. I knew better than to read into things.
"Of course you can sleep in the bed. I'm a grown man, I think I can handle it."
We both smiled and he reached into the desk drawer to find a corkscrew. Once the bottle was open there was no stopping us.
We talked and laughed about everything and anything. Neither of us realized the time until I glanced over my shoulder to see that the clock read 1:00 a.m.
He was obviously drunk considering he had drank almost the entire bottle himself.
"Alright, I think it's time you get some sleep. Big day tomorrow." I stood up and saw him trying to do the same but failing.
I hooked my arms under his and hoisted him up. Apparently I was closer than I thought because he came within an inch of my face which was too close for my comfort. He was alert enough to notice but not enough to move away so I turned and dropped him on the bed.
"No need to be rough." He said as he pulled himself back against the head board.
I smirked and shook my head, "Yea whatever. You can change out here and I'll use the bathroom."
Ten minutes later I emerged from the bathroom wearing only my boxers which I always slept in. Anything extra was just uncomfortable. I saw him lying, shirtless in the covers with the lamp still on. I knew he was asleep by his soft snoring that I had always found attractive. It wasn't loud and obnoxious it was more like a soft purr.
I flicked the light off and made my ways around to the other side of the bed. My back faced his as I got under the covers and soon I was asleep.
I dreamt of him and I together. Not just as best friends but as partners. I thought of being able to tell him how I felt and that I had loved him since I could remember. The dream became taunting, teasing me with what I could never have. But, there was something else not right. I was subconsciously aware that it was quiet in the background.
I slowly opened my eyes and listened. Nothing. Jackson always snored. His snoring had been replaced by ragged breathing. A sniffle here and there and more erratic breaths.
"You're awake." I spoke softly, but I knew he had heard me when I felt him shift towards me.
"I don't think I can do this Bryan. I love Chelsea with everything I have, but I don't know if I can give her everything she needs or wants for the rest of my life." His words were choppy and his voice cracked multiple times. He was really upset. Out of all the years I had known him the only time I had ever seen him cry was when the football team had lost the championships in high school.
I rolled over and looked at the outline of the side of his face. "Jackson, If you love her that's all that should matter. If she's a good woman, which I think she is, she'll understand that there's going to be problems and that you need to work together on it. Everyone gets cold feet."
He abruptly turned and laid his head on my chest. His hands we cold as I felt them on my waist, pulling me closer. "My feet are fucking freezing. That's not the only problem."
I could barely hear him as he mumbled against my chest but it was audible enough. "Then what else is wrong?" I laid a hand on his back and gently rubbed it, trying to calm him down as much as I could.
We were close enough now that I could see him turn his face up to me. I looked down at him and we held eyes for a second before he said "This." He pulled up and pushed his lips against mine. I went rigid for a moment and then I felt his hand slid up my side and wrap around the back of my neck, holding me there.
It took only a slide of his tongue against my lip to break down any resistance I had left. I kissed him like I had always wanted to and showed how much he meant to me. His kiss was soft and gentle. Everything I wouldn't expect from Jackson.
We rolled over and carried on like we hadn't seen each other in years and this was the only way to say I love you to one another.
Now, I held his naked sleeping body against me and marveled over every scene I could recall of the past two hours.
We had whispered things only our ears could hear and touched each other in places no one else could. The definition of making love had been found right here in this bed.
It would've been a happy thought if only there hadn't been a dark one to follow it. In a few hours he would be getting married and I would be right next to him.
That's what best men do, right?"