We stood in silence at the kitchen sink. Akatsuki's arms were wrapped around my skinny body firmly. He is warm like a car bonnet after a drive out. I felt his hair brush against my neck which sent shivers fluttering down my spine. I closed my eyes to try and relax I mean it is just a hug after all.
"What am I to you…Akatsuki?" The words softly left my lips. My heart skipped a beat when Akatsuki didn't answer straight away. I felt tension in the air between us, a questionable tension.
Akatsuki's hold changed. His arms moved up and hugged me gently around the shoulders and his mouth moved to my ear. His breathing is soft which made my cheeks flush warm. I can't remember if I was ever held like this before. It felt familiar but everything is fuzzy.
"Will you still be here…here as the normal Shiro I know?..."
I opened my eyes in confusion. What is Akatsuki mumbling about now? He is full of mystery and hardly ever gives a straight answer. I could write out a long list of all the strange things about Akatsuki like when he kissed me or he said to move in with him. Am I missing something? There must one jigsaw piece hiding somewhere that I can't see.
"Well I can't really move as you are holding me so of course I'll still be standing here." I blankly said. Trying to get out of Akatsuki's hold is impossible. He is a python who has caught his prey and won't let go of you no matter what you scream out or how much you wriggle around.
He let out a soft chuckle and hugged me a little more. It is a little uncomfortable for a hug.
"I think I'll just put it straight forward but…I'm in love with you Shiro."
My eyes widened. My heart started pounding hard. 'What is Akatsuki talking about? He means love as in family right?' I thought to myself.
"I've know you since you were really little. You have always put a smile on my face. It's...It's hard to say all the truth right now but please don't get frightened. I'm not here to hurt you with truth but I just want you to feel comfortable around me. You were only a little kid when…when that day happened."
'That day?' Those words echoed in my head. Where is that jigsaw piece!?
"What is this 'that day' business? Nothing is making sense Akatsuki. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm fifteen and if you leave me in the dark how am I to trust you. I'm convinced that you know my mother but you still aren't being straight forward. What do you mean 'I love you'? Are you secretly my long lost cousin or brother? I don't like games anymore."
I spoke the truth. I don't want Akatsuki to think this is all a game and play around with me. I want to be treated like an adult, not some naïve little child who has no idea what is going on around himself. I need Akatsuki to be honest with me. I want Akatsuki to be honest.
He sighed softly and straightened up a little. His hold loosened a bit but he didn't let me go.
"Do I have to show you again?"
He suddenly turned me around and I now faced Akatsuki's chest. My heart pounded again then with Akatsuki's gentle hand he tilted my chin up to him. His arm now around my lower back and had me pressed up against him. My breathing quicken slightly already recognising what was about to happen.
I looked into his blue eyes. They looked a little sad or disappointed. It might be because I do not understand anything. I wasn't brought up with people around me. I spent most of my life living alone in that sad apartment and had no experience with love or family.
His face leant closer to mine then his lips...his lips pressed against mine. I closed my eyes shyly as there is no use trying to pull away. I'm pretty weak so I have no chance against him.
His fingers gently slid through my hair. I placed my hand on his shoulder, gripping his shirt as my body trembled in his arms. This is all new to me.
This tender kiss started to mean something. Forgotten memories slowly started showing colour to my mind. Pictures blinked past. There isn't even enough time to study these images.
The kiss felt slow and like it was going on forever. Akatsuki opened his mouth a little and lightly bit my bottom lip. Everything felt gentle and safe. I don't feel scared. I don't feel disgusted that a guy is kissing me. I guess that makes me strange to enjoy a kiss from someone who is the same gender as me.
His fingers moved through my hair to the back of my head holding me. The feeling of his hand on my head is acquainted. Somewhere deep in my mind I had a feeling that I have met Akatsuki before. It is a faint feeling but even just a faint feeling is something that you will never forget. A recognisable touch.
He leant me against the kitchen bench and pushed his knee in between my legs. I had nowhere to go. I couldn't say I hated the kiss but it doesn't help if Akatsuki is only giving me little hints.
From this point I can see this isn't just family love but does this mean that Akatsuki truly love me in a couple way?
I then felt a tingly wet sensation on my lips then pushed into my mouth. It brushed against my tongue. I shyly opened my mouth a little allowing Akatsuki's tongue to wonder in my mouth. It felt so weird. My cheeks were now bright red and hot.
I gripped his shirt more as the kiss got more intense. I drew in a quick breath as passionate kissing requires energy.
Our tongues rubbed against each other, mixing our saliva together. My eyes were still closed. My thoughts changed. I started to not want this to end. It is weird to think like this but I can't control anything else.
I don't like this new lust for something that feels great.