The confirmation of what I have suspected for several years hite me harder than I thought it would. I'm gay. The thought repeated itself over and over in my head. I'm gay. But I knew I had to keep my cool, because if I didn't, it would make these next few days even more awkward than they had to be. I'm gay. I shook my head, trying to get the thought out of my mind.
I looked at this guy that was standing on the doorstep. I could tell that he was having as hard a time with this situation as I was. We made eye contact, and I felt myself blushing (I tend to do that a good amount).
"Look," I started, "I'm sor-"
"I rather not talk about it," he said. His voice cracked as he said this, and he broke the eye contact, rubbing his hand against his eye. Man, this must be hard for him.
"Fine," I said. "Come in." I helped him put his bags in my already cramped room and went into the kitchen.
"Want to order some pizza?" I asked, trying to break the ice.
He smiled. "Sausage and ham toppings, if you don't mind." He sat down at the table while he said this.
His responce made me smirk. At least that's one thing we have in common, same liking of pizze toppings.
I picked up the phone and ordered the pizza, then sat down at the table, oppisite him.
We stared at each other, waiting for the other to do something (it seems that he also has a problem with staring). He was unusually calm for someone whose mom just died.
Finally, he said: "I guess I'll introduce myself first. I'm Chris."
"I'm Bryan.... At least, I think I am." We both smiled at this.
"I'm glad I'm not the only one whose have second thoughts about who I am," he said. This made me smile, but made me wonder if he had meant it to sound like it had a double meaning.
"Well, I'm actually surprised your here," I said, trying to keep the conversation open. "My mom had just told me that you were going to be staying about two minutes before you got here."
"Wow," he said, chuckling. "After my house burnt down and my mom died, I called my dad. He said that I would be staying here. To tell you the truth, I'm sort of glad it turned out this way."
"You mean your happy that you mom just died?"
"Yes, I am," he said, still keeping his tone light. "I don't think that I could stand living another day with that witch."
"Don't you think that's a bit harsh?" I asked, tyring to keep my tone light as well.
"Trust me, if you knew her, you would think that 'witch' is an understatement."
"So you happy that you have to come and stay here with a guy you don't even know, and maybe even sleep in the same bed?'' I asked, still trying to rap my thoughts around it. Not that I had any problem with it, but I didn't know much about him.
"Like I said," he said, his eyes looking at his hands, "I'm having second thoughts about who I am."
"Yeah," I said quietly, "me to." We both blushed. The doorbell rang and we both nearly wet our pants.
"Must be the pizza," I said getting up.
"That was quick," he said.
"Yeah, well, the pizza place is right down the street," I said, opening the door. Indeed, it was the pizza. It smelled of sausage and ham, and when I brought it in the kitchen, Chirs' face lit up.
"Haha, I just realized I'm starving," he siad.
"Yeah, so am I."
We ended up sitting on the floor nest to each other infornt of the tv, with the pizza box spread across our laps. We were watching a wrestling marathon on Spike, commenting on who we wanted to win, and just generally acted like two teenage guys. We ended up eating all of the pizza, and both of us were rubbing our stomachs. It was well after midnight when we ended up falling asleep on the floor, not seeing the reason to move.
It was about ten in the morning when when we woke up. We ended up somehow being able to maneuver oursleves so that out backs were againts each other, while still asleep. The tv was still on, a commercial for somesort of towel showing. We both turned around and started laughing for no reason. It was really wierd, we had nearly the same laugh. That was when the maid service came, while we were just sitting there, half naked (for somereason neither of us had shirts on). Usually, having someone else cleaning up my mess was great. Mom hired the service shortly before she left, because she knew that I wouldn't clean up after myself. But they always enter right when I didn't want them to. Today was no different. But today was worse (so I guess it was different). The maid that came by today was Paul, and he was probably the only gay in town that was open about it. When he walked in and saw Chris and I, he gave a flirty smile and said: "I'll would love to get to know you a bit better, Bryan. Your friend too." With that he want about his business, and Chris and I both laughed again.